I didn’t know how long it had been, since I had committed the atrocious deed. All I knew was that my chest had been carved open, and someone had wrenched my heart out. The pain was washing over my body in waves, each one worse than the last, each one dragging me further into my personal hell.

I heard a car come up the driveway. My hands clenched around the floorboards, ripping some of them up in the process, as my screams continued to escape me.

Carlisle’s thoughts echoed in my head. Edward! EDWARD! Please, please, tell me that’s not you. What happened? Stupid question, he left Bella. But I never thought it would be like this-

The car pulled into the driveway, and Carlisle verbalized his thoughts, each word getting louder. “Edward! EDWARD! EDWARD! Where are you? Edward!’

He burst into the living room, where his astonished eyes found my pathetic body, shaking, my arms wrapped around my chest, screams flowing out of my mouth as freely as water flowed down a waterfall.

He quickly slid down to my level, becoming frantic, worried, panicked, and scared. “Edward. Edward, look at me son.” His hands found my head, and pulled it up.

I shook my head, trying to get it out of his grip. I didn’t want to see those perfect, forgiving eyes. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. I deserved to die a slow painful death, for the monster I was. Not being a vampire, not of being a soulless creature, but for leaving Isabella Swan.

The name caused another round of screams to escape from my mouth.

Carlisle found my head again, and lifted it up again, a firmer grip on me this time. I shut my eyes. “Edward, look at me. Please. Are you hurt?” His frantic voice sent yet more pain over my way, although the most pain was where my cold heart was.

“Edward!” He was extremely scared now. He had Alice on the phone now. “Alice, what do I do? Did you see something?”

I found one of my limbs again, and reached out with my hand. I grabbed the small device he was speaking into, and crushed it, before returning to having both my arms wrapped around my chest.

“Edward, please, let me help you! Tell me what happened?”

I found my eyes, and opened them slowly, managing to stifle my screams for long enough to say one heart-wrenching sentence.

“I left her Carlisle.”

A round of agonizing sobs followed after that. “I left her in the woods. She wanted me, so bad; I had to detangle her hands from my shirt.”

Her hands. They used to caress my face. I remembered the touch, before realizing I would never feel that again. The sobs continued, breaking out of my useless mouth.

“I know, son, I know,” he said to me. “Please, you have to get up-“

“HOW CAN I?” I screamed at him. “I left her. I left her in the woods. I left her to fend for herself. I left Bel-“

I choked on the name. Carlisle’s hands came around my body in a comforting hug. He wasn’t worried, or scared, or frantic now. He was just kind, and compassionate. “Edward,” he murmured softly. “Look at yourself-“

“These eyes should be gouged out with hot pokers,” I sobbed. “I’m a monster Carlisle. A soulless monster who deserves never to see again.”

“You’re not a monster,” he comforted.

“I left her,” I sobbed. “How can you say I’m not a monster?”

“You left her to protect her,” he said to me. “That makes you an angel, not a monster.”

“I left her in the woods. I told her I didn’t love her. I’m a monster. The worst of all kinds.”

“Edward,” he murmured, giving up on trying to convincing me I wasn’t a soulless monster. “You should come with me. Back to the family. Esme is waiting.”

I really was a monster. Staying here, giving no thought to who might have been worrying.

Isabella Marie Swan was worrying.

I screamed at the pain the name brought, and wound my arms tighter around my chest. Carlisle noticed, and tried to pull one free. “Come on, Edward. You’re always the strong one,” he muttered to himself, still tugging on my left arm. It simply snaked tighter around my chest.

Sighing, he gave up, and simply picked me up. “Let’s go home, Edward.”

I made no struggle as he sat me down in the back seat of the car. I turned away from him, and sobbed into the seat.

Sighing again, he pulled out of the driveway, heading for our new home.