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[Reviews - 195]
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Author's Chapter Notes:

AN: Alright, it's time for my next project! I hope you enjoy this, it's a little bit different. This whole story will be told in emails, text messages, and message board posts. I MIGHT do excerpts of narrative, but they won't be posted here. I kind of got this idea from Boy Next Door by Meg Cabot and a Japanese drama called Densha Otoko. So there might be some similarities, but I'm trying to work in my own twists, too.

Many thanks to my flist over at LJ for helping me figure out what was going on and encouraging this madness (Adair, Jacyevans, LadyAkako, Wuthers, choosetodream, AmethystJackson - you're all awesome), and the_gazebo for helping me brainstorm some screen names. If you leave me some in the reviews that I like, I might include them.

Also, apologies for the wonky emails, ffnet strips anything that looks normal and it takes forever to change.

Disclaimer: Characters to SMeyer, I'm just playing with their technologies.


From: Ben (bcheney@mymailman.com)

To: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: What in the world

----

What in the world happened this morning? Emmett was just in here telling all the guys that his little brother has finally become a man. He refuses to elaborate, but just kept grinning like the giant oaf that he is (no offense, but really, has he ever been tested for steroids?). Normally I’d just ignore him, but you didn’t show up when your shift began. Clearly, something big happened. You can’t let Emmett know something that I don’t, that’s cruel and unusual punishment.

-Ben

***

From: Emmett (ladiesman2000@mymailman.com)

To: Mom (esmecullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: Your little boy

----

Hey Mom! Guess what! Edward has a story to tell you! I’d just tell you myself, but I wouldn’t want to steal his thunder. I’m a considerate brother like that, y’know.

BUT! I can tell you that it involves Edward. And a girl. : D

Love,

Em

PS – Can you make lasagna when we come for dinner on Sunday? Rosalie puts something funky in the recipe she makes. And I want lasagna.

PPS – Don’t tell Rose I said that.

***

From: Mom (esmecullen@mymailman.com)

To: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: Just saying hi

----

Edward,

I was just talking with Tanya this morning – you remember her, don’t you? Pretty little thing that works at that coffee shop around the corner that you used to hand out at all the time? She is such a pretty girl, you two would look so cute together. Have you met anyone special out at school yet? You wouldn’t keep something like that from your mother, would you?

It wouldn’t hurt to call me every once in awhile either.

Love, Mom

***

From: Mom (esmecullen@mymailman.com)

To: Emmett (ladiesman2000@mymailman.com)

Subject: I love you

----

Emmett, thank you for this little tidbit of information! Did he finally get a date? Has he been secretly dating all this time and only just coming out? Wait, you said girl, right? And something about romance? Right?

He won’t pick up his phone! Emmett, tell your brother not to be so cruel to his mother.

He gets email on his phone right? He has one of those crazy hi-tech things, doesn’t he? I can’t remember if it was his phone I was trying to use or someone else’s, and I kept accidentally sending out emails when I was just trying to call the weather forecast number.

I’m sending him another email anyway. You know he spends all his time online anyway. He’s going to go blind. All that staring at a screen can’t be good for him.

Love,

Mom

PS – I’d be happy to make lasagna!

PPS – Your secret is safe with me.

***

To: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

From: Mom (esmecullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: I know you got my email

----

Edward,

What’s taking you so long to respond? Call (or email!) your mother!

Love, Mom

***

To: Ben Cheney (bcheney@mymailman.com)

From: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58@mymailman.com)

Subject: Unheard of

----

Ben,

You mean there’s actually gossip in this awful place???!! I heard you talking to whats-his-name from next door during lunch. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON. I’M DYING OF BOREDOM. I don’t know how many more whiny, snot-nosed children asking me for ice cream I can take.

-L

***

To: Lauren Mallory (lollipop58@mymailman.com)

From: Ben Cheney (bcheney@mymailman.com)

Subject: whiny, snot-nosed children asking me for ice cream

----

Lauren,

What did you expect when you applied to work at an ice cream booth?

And what do I look like, a girl? I’m not going to gossip about my friends.

-Ben

PS - How did you get this email address anyway?

***

To: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

From: Ben (bcheney@mymailman.com)

Subject: Come on, man

----

Edward,

Where are you? I can’t remember the last time you missed a day of work. Did you bomb a test or something? I can’t think of anything else that would keep you from this place. And I feel I need to warn you… Lauren Mallory from that ice cream booth around the corner may grill you once she finds you. That girl is starved for scandal. So…heads up on that.

Ben

***

To: Emmet (ladiesman2000@mymailman.com)

From: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: (no subject)

----

I hate you so much right now.

-Edward

***

To: Mom (esmecullen@mymailman.com)

From Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: I called you yesterday

-----

Hi Mom,

Emmett was joking. Again. You should know better than to fall for his pranks by now. Sorry it took me awhile to respond, my phone got a bit damaged this morning and it won’t connect to the internet.

I’ll call you when I get the chance, I need to get my phone fixed and run some errands.

Love you,

Edward

***

To: Ben (bcheney@mymailman.com)

From: Edward (eacullen@mymailman.com)

Subject: The Story

-----

Ben,

Thanks for the heads-up on Lauren.

Emmett is just being himself. I talked to a girl on the bus this morning and he’s blowing it way out of proportions.

Sorry I couldn’t respond, my phone is being difficult. I told Emmett to go in for me, and apparently, he chose to interpret that to mean go make my life difficult.

Anyway, I should be in tomorrow.

-Edward

***

FR: Alice
555-9493
-----

Is that bella swan I see walking in late?

 

FR: Bella
555-3285
-----

thanks for making my phone go off, I almost made it unnoticed

 

FR: Alice
555-9493
-----

Ha, not a chance, prof’s got hawk eyes. What happened?

 

FR: Bella
555-3285
-----

Slight crisis on the bus, but with happy ending. I’ll tell you later –getting prof’s stinkeye. Turning phone off now.

 

FR: Alice
555-9493
-----

WHAT? You can’t just drop that on me, that’s cruel. I expect a full report after class.

***

 

POSTED 12:08 PM ON THE RED STRINGS OF FATE MESSAGE BOARD

that_boy posted:

So, I feel kind of weird posting this, but I’m kind of desperate. I don’t have much experience with dating and I can’t afford to mess this up. My brother directed me here, and said this message board gave great advice for his marriage, and it wouldn’t hurt for me to look.

To give you some background, I’m 20 years old and I’m going to college. I don’t date. It’s not that I’m bad looking (according to my family, so I guess that’s up for debate anyway), I’m just…painfully shy. I’ve always been that boy in the back you just sort of skim over.

This is where you come in.

This morning, I was riding the bus to class, as usual. I sat in my usual seat (third row, right side, window), and watched the usual crowd get on. Part of the usual crowd includes one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen. She has long dark hair, big doe-y eyes, always carries a book, and always smiles at me. Her smiles make my morning. But I’m always too flustered to do anything but look away, and she sits in her usual seat (third from the back, left side, aisle) and opens her book.

But there was something different about this morning. There was an unfamiliar rider that apparently decided to start the weekend (very) early. He reeked of alcohol and staggered onto the bus. I don’t know how he paid his fare, or why the driver let him on, but there you go.

He began leering at all the women on the bus, and honed in on my pretty girl. He stumbled over to her and began addressing her very loudly, calling her disgusting terms, and using foul language.

I was cowering against the window, with my fists clenched – I didn’t know what to do! This guy was drunk, and twice my size!

But when he began pawing at her, something in me snapped and I couldn’t watch anymore. I stood and walked down the aisle. I could feel everyone watching me. I grabbed the man’s shoulder and turned him around so he wasn’t facing her anymore. I told him to leave her alone. He laughed at me and stepped forward to fight back. I held up my hands, forgetting my phone was in one of them, and he shoved me, making the phone drop with a sickening clatter as I could hear it break. He stepped forward again, at exactly the time the bus took a wide turn, and he lost his balance and fell, hitting his head hard against the metal pole on the way down. It was hard enough to make a loud clang and I’d be surprised if he didn’t have a huge bruise tomorrow.

The bus driver finally saw what was going on and ordered him to get off, which he did, looking dizzy and confused.

The girl had been hiding behind her book and finally looked up at me, those big, brown eyes shining with thanks. I could barely speak to her, but she gave me her number on a torn sheet of loose-leaf and said she wanted to thank me for what I did by taking me to dinner. I mumbled that I’d like that, and then we were at her stop. She smiled and told me to call her to set up a time, and then disappeared in the crowd.

I reclaimed my poor phone, and the rest is history.

So my question is: what do I do now? Call her? Text her? What do I say?

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

death_and_taxes posted:

First, congrats on defending your girl, man! It takes guts to stand up like that, and you were the only one with the balls to do it.

Second, the ball’s in your court now. She gave you her number, so she definitely wants you to call her.

Do it!

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Burningcherubim posted:

I’ll second the congrats, but don’t call her yet! A text is a lot less scary. What if when you call, she asks something and you don’t know what to say? You can plan out a text.

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Hungry_like_a_wolf posted:

Nah, a text isn’t personal enough! What kind of a douche asks a girl out by texting her? Besides, what if she doesn’t have free texting? Way to start off on her bad side!

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Sparklemotion posted:

This is the age of technology!! A text is totally acceptable. It takes the pressure off her to respond right away. I like when guys text me so I have time to think of a good excuse to say no. ;)

Not that this girl will say no! I mean, she totally gave you the green light. It’s pretty much a sure thing.

 

IN REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

Thanks for all your advice, I think I will text her. If I talk to her, I’d just stutter. And have long, awkward pauses.

But…what do I say?

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

SmoothCriminal posted:

Something smooth like: You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

Amiright?

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

SmoothCriminal posted:

Or this: If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

SmoothCriminal posted:

No, this one!

People call me John (or whatever your name is), but you can call me Tonight!

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Sparklemotion posted:

EW NO. that_boy, don’t listen to him. Those would only MAYBE POSSIBLY work on her if she were a drunk barfly. LOL. Treat her with some class. I like it when guys treat me with class. This one time, this guy rescued me from one of those sleezy pick-up lines guys and he didn’t even try to hit on me! It was totally hot.

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Anon posted:

This whole thread is insane.

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

SmoothCriminal posted:

Not even: Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it. ???

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Sparklemotion posted:

Did you hear that? The whole internet just boo-ed you.

 

IN REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

This…really isn’t helping.

***

To: Bella (ciaobella@mymailman.com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie@mymailman.com)

Subject: My favorite damsel in distress

-----

I think you forgot to turn your phone back on. I left you like, five messages. Okay, only two, but still. You need to answer your phone when I call you.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie@mymailman.com)

From: Bella (ciaobella@mymailman.com)

Subject: I am not a damsel

-----

Alice, what more could you possibly want to know? I told you the whole story, in great detail, for at least thirty minutes.

And yes, my phone is off still. I’m trying to get some studying in.

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella@mymailman.com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie@mymailman.com)

Subject: You can’t be studying that hard

------

You’re still answering your email.

Hearts,

Alice

***

To: Alice (fortunexcookie@mymailman.com)

Bella: Bella (ciaobella@mymailman.com)

Subject: What

-----

I’m not turning my phone back on. What do you need?

-Bella

***

To: Bella (ciaobella@mymailman.com)

From: Alice (fortunexcookie@mymailman.com)

Subject: Well….

-----

I just wanted to know if your white knight called you yet. But, since you haven’t turned on your phone, I guess you wouldn't know, huh?

Bet you’re turning on your phone pretty quick now, huh?

Hearts,

Alice

***

 

IN REPLY TO YOUR POST

Squishy posted:

Okay, here’s what you have to do: text her so she has your name and number. Ask her if she’s okay.

And that’s all. Shows that you care, and gives her any and all necessary info.

 

IN REPLY TO THE POST

That_boy posted:

Thank you! I think that will work.

I’m sending it right now…

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