A New Life

             I sat on Bella’s old bed, in Edward’s old bedroom and stared out the windows into the green, wet forest. My mind was clear. I wasn’t worried about what I would do when I had to leave Forks. I wasn’t afraid that I would be alone again in a year. There wasn’t a little part in the back of mind constantly searching my surroundings for approaching vampires. I had never felt this way. I was completely safe for the first time ever.

            That was the feeling! It wasn’t actually a feeling, but the lack of one. I wasn’t scared. I was safe.

            What was I going to tell Scott? I wondered. He would never understand how and why Edward and Bella adopted me. He would only see a seventeen-year-old adopted by a couple of married nineteen-year-olds. He would never see that I would be forever a child even though I don’t believe I was ever a child. Instinct had kept me alive from the moment I took my first breath. Eating bugs and lizards and rodents until I learned how to be a human wasn’t something I had been taught. I was more animal than human for at least the first year of my life and acted as such. I learned by watching and listening. 

            My intelligence at birth had to have been beyond that a normal five-year-old child. Without ever being taught, I knew I had to find food. Unfortunately, my first meals had been the flesh that had sustained me from conception to birth, although birth still doesn’t seem like a fitting term. 

            The thirst for human blood had been a part of me since I was born, but after I realized what I had done to quench that thirst, the desire for it made me sic., But it was always there. I guess it can be described as ‘alcohol to a recovering alcoholic’ or ‘heroine to an addict’. You still want it, but you think of all the reasons why you shouldn’t have it and all the terrible things you had done to get it. 

            Being alone and vulnerable had always been part of who I was. I was shy and quiet, never wanting to get too close, but with a curiosity that usually got me too close anyway. One time it had nearly gotten me killed, wandering the streets and alleyways of the city, but that’s also how I ended up with Lillian. Another time it brought Daniel to me. This time, Edward, Bella, Renesmee and the whole Cullen family. Scott would never be able to see this from my perspective, or theirs. 

            They were vampires. Timeless and ageless, like myself. Edward had been seventeen when Carlisle changed him and his body and mind will always be seventeen, but his knowledge and understanding was that of someone over one hundred. He had mastered the things that are learned with time, like patience and understanding and compassion. Bella was born with all those traits. When she was turned at eighteen, she had equaled or even surpassed Edward. And with the arrival of Renesmee, they were also parents and protectors. I had been told that the instinct to protect an offspring is stronger than the instinct to protect one’s self, and as vampires, that sort of scared me, because Edward and Bella both saw me as their own, like I was supposed to be here as much as Renesmee. Edward still saw me as the lost, lonely little girl he had saved from the vampire when I was very young. I could see that when he looked at me, ever since he had made that connection when I was unconscious. It was as if I should’ve been his child. But, it wasn’t possible. Edward had never loved anyone before Bella. 

            That first day at the Cullen house was like nothing I had ever dreamed of, being able to talk to someone about who I was, able to ask questions about vampires, and about the wolves. I was perfectly comfortable around them. Even the wolves were like extended family and they came and went as they pleased. The day seemed to last forever but at the same time, it was over before I knew it. 

            Bella and I were upstairs in Edward’s old room, which was now my room I was told, in the main house. Of course I had my own room in the cottage that I had seen earlier that day. 

            Bella and I talked about why I had never approached them before. 

            “Well, if you remember,” and I knew she did, “I didn’t exactly approach you this time either. But I guess I got closer than I ever had before. At least I spoke this time.” 

            Renesmee bounced through the doorway and onto the bed, giggling and laughing and looking behind her every few seconds. Then Jacob jumped through the doorway with a big ‘Rraaaa’, and Renesmee giggled again, wrapped her arms around my neck and hid her face against my chest. 

            “Jake can’t get me now,” she said, peeking over my shoulder at the doorway, still giggling. But Jacob and slipped around the bed when she wasn’t looking and was standing behind her now. 

            “Look out,” I whispered to her and fell backwards onto the bed with her in my arms. She let out a loud laugh when Jacob grabbed her sides and tickled her. I rolled over on her, effectively blocking Jake, but only until he started tickling me. I rolled and squirmed and tried to speak through the laughter. 

            “Bella! Help us,” I gasped between the laughing fits. 

            I felt a quick rush of air and all of a sudden the tickling stopped. I rolled around to see Edward holding Jacob above his head and strutting around the room. Jacob was pretending to be hurt and flailing about in the air. 

            Renesmee let out a high pitched squeal and went running from the room. Edward sat Jacob’s feet on the floor and as soon as he had traction, he was out the door and after Renesmee. We listened to them run down the stairs, across the dining room and back again. Renesmee squealed when Jacob caught her again. 

            I was still on my back laughing and trying to catch my breath. In a flash, Edward’s face was directly over me, looking down at me. 

            “How are you feeling,” he asked. 

            “Wonderful,” I said, still half laughing. I threw my arms over my head. “Better than wonderful, actually. I don’t ever remember feeling like this.” 

            “Oh really?” he asked very seriously, then he was tickling me. 

            I squirmed all over the bed trying to get away but it was useless, “Bella!” 

            There was a crash and Bella had Edward pinned to the bed, straddling his waist. 

            “Ha!” I laughed, “Mom wins.” Then I froze when I realized what I had said. I stared at Bella, but she didn’t even seem to notice. Her eyes were locked on Edwards. Then I remembered that they had been with me, all week. 

             I smiled at Bella, “I think me and Renesmee will be okay here until in the morning.” I winked at her. “Go home.” You and Edward have been babysitting me for a week, I do believe some alone time for the two of you is in order. Bella smiled and if she could’ve blushed, she would have. She looked down and smiled coyly at Edward. He had heard everything. 

            “I’m not leaving you, Lily,” Bella began. 

            “Bella, we’ll be fine,” I protested. 

            Bella just shook her head and wrapped her arms around me. I struggled to get free but she held tight. 

            “Bella, please. It’s just one night and I know how much you both have missed…” 

            “Lily, no…” 

            “Mom,” I tapped my temple with my finger, “built in cell phone, remember. I promise if I hear the tiniest scary noise, I’ll let you know.” 

            Bella sighed and stroked my hair. “Okay, but after you’re asleep and I won’t be gone more than an hour.” 

            “Promise you’ll go?” 

            She hesitated, “I promise,” she said finally. 

            It was later than I had thought. Jacob brought Renesmee up to the room and kissed her on the head and told her he would he would see her tomorrow. She curled up against me and was fast asleep. 

            I fell asleep in Bella’s arms. I never felt her leave.