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Reviewer: KrisB (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 07:58 PM · On: Satiated, The Deleted Scene

Oh, my dear, welcome to the Lemonade business!  You did great!!!



Author's Response:

Praise from the master. Your lemons actually make me wake up my husband. Oops, that was probably too much information.

Reviewer: KrisB (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 07:53 PM · On: Satiated

Carlisle is such an unstoppable force that his illness would certainly rock their world.  Add to that his role as the patriarch, and that all of these folks really never had to contemplate mortality, and you've practically got an Oprah show.

You know I'm like Tara... I have to fix everything, solve every problem, control every situation... I'm like Tina, and I'm like Tara.  I love the way Jake gets his way going to Italy.  Of course, his presence blocks out the future, which has its pros and cons.  What Alice doesn't know, Aro doesn't know, but it will make it difficult to strategize.  It levels the playing field somewhat, but since Aro is a loose cannon, I'd say it's worth the risk.

I loved the "True Blood" line - that was really funny!  I wonder what will happen to the Guard when Tara shows up and they all realize that they don't need to be evil.

Hmmm... off to the next!



Author's Response:

I think everything is an Oprah show :)

The fixing thing is something I can relate to in Tara. I'm hoping she can learn to let that go a little bit, but she is stubborn. Jake blocking Alice's view of the future is one of my favorite things. Between a mind reader and a future teller it gets a little too convenient sometimes.

Thanks for letting me know what made you laugh. I haven't been inclined to let my humor out very much in this story so I plan to channel it into a later one. My favorite stories on this site are the ones that make me laugh and cry, like Loss of Control.

Reviewer: KrisB (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 07:38 PM · On: Infected

I'm worried about Carlisle because now it's a race against time.  I had no doubt they would go after this thing, whatever it is, but now they have to beat the clock.  I still wonder what would happen if Carlisle drank from Tara, but I'm a problem-solver by nature, so while I'm trying very hard to focus on the characterizations and the tale, I really want to figure out what's going on with this disease.

Thank goodness Edward was there to stop Carlisle.   There are times when a mind-reading son must come in handy!

Reviewer: KrisB (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 07:26 PM · On: Epidemic

I'm so intrigued by the storyline I can barely stop to fill the white box.  Your storytelling is incredible in this chapter, Alizabeth.  Not that it hasn't been great all along, but sometimes, when things start to speed up, writers get sloppy.  If anything, you're getting crisper.

I loved the bloodletting.  That was really so in character for each of them.  And Tara is such a unique character.  I keep wondering if her blood is going to be the cure for the fever... and I wonder who came to visit?  Hmmm..

Okay, I have to keep reading because I'm very curious!  Thanks so much for crafting this wonderful story!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you feel it is improving, this is my first story so the exercise of writing it is definitely helping me. I've been trying to keep the focus, I am just so intrigued by all these characters that I am sure I am all over the map here, but I can't help indulging myself.

Reviewer: KrisB (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 07:10 PM · On: Fallen

Hi, Alizabeth!  I know I've been awol for a while... between writing and beta'ing, I barely have time to read, so I've been holding off on the stories where I really want to keep my brain engaged and leave loving reviews. ;-)

Too funny that you commented about softening me up to Jacob!  I really felt for him in this chapter.  Is he supposed to follow some kind of twisted version of "Don't shoot until you see the whites of their eyes" code?  Don't fight until you see the red of their irises?  But Nessie should have given them a playbook or something.  I guess this virus or whatever has everyone changing sides.

I'm so intrigued by this story.  And now I have lots to read, so it's off to the next!



Author's Response:

I totally blame Nessie on that one also. She's got some redeeming to do. I'm totally not caught up on LOC so don't breathe a word about anything! I've avoided the thread. I've been trying to kick my own ass to get APUH finished so I've been limiting my reading, but I posted my first lemon so I deserve a little LOC treat.

 

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: March 05, 2010 07:56 PM · On: Reincarnated

Nice second ch! Interested to know why she's so different. She seems something like Renesmee with her combination of vampire and human traits.

Fav lines include --

in the grip of a tormentor that hunts and finds every place within them until there is no part left whole  

“Try to breathe through your mouth….I mean more than usual,” Carlisle said, making Jacob laugh out loud. [made me laugh out loud too]

“Did a 200 year old guy just bust on me? OK, if you can stand my stink, I’ll stand yours. I’ve never done this before anyway.” Jacob’s eyes looked humble. “I’m not really even sure why you guys trusted me to be here.”

The static was back, drowning out the crackling fire, a louder rush than ever before on her sensitive ears, threatening to split her in two.

I want to know more about her immediate connection to Jacob. I definitely have a lot of questions now (her different change, the static, Bella calling her a sister, what Alice saw...) and am anxious to find out where she fits in. The image I have of her now is that she seems to be soft spoken, to doubt herself and to feel alienated, though her new connection to Jake may help.

Thanks for posting! 

Reviewer: twizzlers (Signed) · Date: March 05, 2010 05:59 PM · On: Satiated

Okay I'm here! and I love Tara and jacob..Please dont change a thing I LOVE this soooo much! I will rec'  it in my thread it's to good!

 

Summer



Author's Response:

Thanks for the review. I've got the itchy fingers, I'm always changing stuff. I have to stop.

Reviewer: mothlights (Signed) · Date: March 04, 2010 05:04 AM · On: Found

Great first ch. Especially liked seeing Bella from 'the other side'. It's nice to see her first through the eyes of someone who's awed by her, since in the books it's usually Bella being awed by someone else. 

I don't usually read Jake stories, but I'm much more open to the idea of him when he's not with Bella or Renesmee. 

You have a nice, lyrical quality to your writing. Fav lines include

The gloss of it flowed over her, wrapped her and she realized that the sense of loneliness she had felt before was nothing to this utter isolation.

like fruit at the peak of ripeness, rippling with sugar

Bella slid forward on cat feet, placing an icy hand on Tara’s.

He’s not wrong, Tara thought, flexing her stiff fingers and feeling the blood thin and flow in her veins for the first time in a while.

I  like that Jacob seems to feel her pain as though it's his. Gives me the impression that perhaps she's his true imprint. 

I almost wish Bella had a line or two starting off her story before the paragraph starting "The night slipped on..." just to give me a sense of how Bella was going to tell it.

I'm guessing that Tara was ill and that Alice saw that she will have a talent the Cullens will need. 

Looking forward to more. Thanks.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. Your guesses are very encouraging to me that my hints were overt enough.

Fantastic suggestion on having Bella start out her story. I admit I was in haste to move the story along and I sort of figured, it is fanfiction, we all know Bella's story. As you say, the interesting part is how Bella would tell it. Food for thought!

Reviewer: Cadybearsmommy (Signed) · Date: March 03, 2010 08:49 PM · On: Found

Thanks for the update!  Loving it!



Author's Response:

Thanks for noticing :). I can't seem to let chapter 1 alone. It amazes me how much closer I am to my characters now that I'm at chapter 20 plus..

Reviewer: wendeline (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2010 02:36 AM · On: Satiated

awesome

Reviewer: dkgors (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2010 12:27 AM · On: Satiated

I'm liking the story so much.  I would like more interaction with Tara and Jake.  The illness is very disturbing, just wondering what it is and what will hapen when they all get to Italy.  I'm glad Jake is going.  Please don't wait so long to update, your story is so different from any other, I really want to see where you take it.

Dixie



Author's Response:

Dixie,

My very next post - going into validation now is a Jake and Tara out-take so you get your wish. I am so tempted to just abandon the whole storyline and just turn it into a harlequiin romance with those two but I can't. So glad you like the story. Thanks for reviewing.

Reviewer: Graveyarder03 (Signed) · Date: March 01, 2010 12:13 AM · On: Satiated

I have totally felt like Tara, and how you have to fix everything like NOW.  It never worked out for me either frankly.

I enjoyed the sister/sister moment, and I LOVED the Jacob/Tara time!  Its about time they get some time to themselves.  You gotta take a break from the stress!  Thanks for updating!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the thoughtful review. I really wish I could spend more time with Tara and Bella together but I don't want to grind to a halt. I try to find some time for them when I can.

Reviewer: wordslinger (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2010 10:59 PM · On: Satiated

Total privacy in this situation must be nice! :)

Author's Response:

Yeah, no peeping Alice's

Reviewer: BSean (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2010 10:49 PM · On: Satiated

Hey it's BSean from review for review I just wanted to tell you that I already read your story and I love it. I read it inbetween classes usually and don't have time to send a review to you, but I'll try to do better.



Author's Response:

Sweet, I didn't know you were already onto the story. Thanks so much for reviewing. I'm enjoying your story.

Reviewer: EliseShaw (Signed) · Date: February 28, 2010 01:06 PM · On: Mistaken

This entire chapter was excellent, but I especially loved the reunion between Tara and Charlie! :-)



Author's Response:

My favorite part was Tara and Charlie and interesting that you liked it because it was an earlier question in a review from YOU that inspired it. Thank you for the review and the praise!

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: February 23, 2010 01:57 AM · On: Connection

Carlisles theory is so interesting I liek how he puts the sense of belonging into a tangible emotion.  So much Tara can practically physically touch it...interesting!  Sniffle ok the Jacob part is killing me I still need to know what down with Ness but OMG I felt for him and the main was monumental and that kisss swoon bestil my heart that was hot, his salvation squee!!!!  I hope she is waht Jacob needs and that its what fate has destined for him to find.  HEHE  its a Test of his Fate muah hahaha



Author's Response:

You are so sweet (a kindred spirit) to want Jakey to find some love. I feel so bad he always gets lead on and kicked to the curb.

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: February 23, 2010 01:46 AM · On: Iniquity

OMG OMG oh shit!  Wow does Tara know? I mean how would she feel if her parents kept her and didn't keep Tara?!? Bella is losing her midn I'll assume teh human is dead and teh fact she nearly jumped him to drain him surprised the shit out of me!  I loved teh way you had Tara drawn to jeans I mean that was priceless!  I am worried about Jacob he brings up a valid point first Bella then her daughter and now her sister..  How is Edward going to handle this new Bella I am so glad Tara stopped her but what has happened in the last 10 years to get us here?    



Author's Response:

Can you imagine being the sister they didn't decide to keep. So sad. You'll learn more about what Tara knows later (& a scene between Tara & Charlie that made me cry to write it).

Bella is really jacked up and its all because of Tara. She was doing just fine (OK maybe a little sad that Nessie was gone) but all hell did not break loose until she bit Tara. Its a tough thing to get your heart's desire and only have a taste.

Thanks for your review!

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: February 23, 2010 01:29 AM · On: Addiction

Ok that is the second time you have called her Bella's sister!!??  Her ability has me asking 101 questions.  Its hard to review when I am itching to hit next and continue reading!  I love how indepth your characxters are their not just introduced explained and moved along you breath life into them this Tara girl has me so intrigued and I look forward to seeing how it all plays out.   



Author's Response:

I am so happy when people say they like Tara. She is based on (and this story was written for) my friend and so she was already so real to me I'm not sure how much ends up on the page (screen).

You are the character developer of all time. Your Bella is unique and cool and I want to hang out with her (but I would not want her to date my brother, she'd break his heart).

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: February 22, 2010 01:01 PM · On: Reincarnated

SQUEE!!  I am beyond estatic for Jacob!  Carlisle is going to have a field day but I worry Italy...  They always meddle and mess things up, I am so happy that she turned out perfect for Jacob but I am with Carlisle this is a quandary!  I am so excited to see where this goes but alas my kids demand attention so until nap time I must step away from the comp sniffle GREAT WORK I am actually wanting to ignore the kids let them destroy my house and feed them junk for lunch so I don't have to get up and I can continue... But since my husband is already anti Twilight (can you beieve that)  I can't let my chores fall behind or he'll flip a lid hehehe!  Look forward to t he next Chapter



Author's Response:

Right back at you girl. My husband was irritated that I was laughing so loud at your story I was drowning out the Olympics last night. Finally at 1 AM I had to go to bed. They are having pizza for dinner tonight so I can get caught up. I am a super fast reader. It is a blessing with all of the fantastic stories out there.

Reviewer: silly sad sarah twilighted (Signed) · Date: February 22, 2010 12:38 PM · On: Found

Wow holy first chap!!  Talk about intense.  I have some guesses, 1 Tara is Jacobs imprint well at least Ihope the whole baby thing kind of didn't settle well with me in BD.  Can't help I have 3 kids and if any man looked at my kid I'd kill them...  2nd They didn't want her to do this well so far Iknow Alice has to be involved but it must be iffy with a wolf involved...  Very interesting I am going on to the next chap great job I never thought I would like a post with a new character I tend to avoid them but so far so good that you actually have and captured my attention!  :D  



Author's Response:

Let's just say I'm a mom too and I was rooting for Bella to kill Jake after he said he imprinted on Nessie (and I love Jake). Thanks for giving my new character a chance. I think a lot of people put in new characters just so they can write themselves in with their crush. That is not the case here - Tara is definitely not me. I'm mad at you! I logged on in my lunch hour  to read your story, I'll just have a cup of coffee and go hungry. I am that addicted!

Reviewer: Cadybearsmommy (Signed) · Date: February 17, 2010 12:56 PM · On: Infected

Oh no, Poor Carlisle!  I can't wait to see what happens in Italy!

Reviewer: dkgors (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2010 03:06 AM · On: Infected

I'm so curious as to what this fever is.  I can't believe Calisle almost drank from a human.  I am wondering if he is thirsty why aren't they seeing if drinking animal blood will help?  Why do they just assume it's the fever?

Update soon!



Author's Response:

Wow. Great points! I added a few lines to clarify both your questions in the chapter. It absolutely stands to reason they would try animal blood first. Thanks for the feedback.

Reviewer: wendeline (Signed) · Date: February 15, 2010 09:45 PM · On: Infected

awesome

Reviewer: Graveyarder03 (Signed) · Date: February 15, 2010 05:22 PM · On: Infected

I am worried about Carlisle... it should be Rose or something :p!  I didn't think Tara would be a quick fix, I think her gift is totally emotional not so much physical.  I can't wait to go to Italy with the gang!  What about Jake and Tara though, you can't forget about them!!! :p Thanks for  updating!

Reviewer: wordslinger (Signed) · Date: February 15, 2010 05:12 PM · On: Infected

Not Carlisle! I love him! He's like the sweet dad I never had! You can't kill him!

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