I was so excited to see that this was up already!

 

Your view of Carlisle's role in the battle of minds is intriguing - from Bella's point of view he's not doing very much, but here every hint of reason shown by Aro is directly due to Carlisle's power.  I wonder if it also makes Caius even more angry, if he can feel the power and resents it?  It also made me wonder how your Aro would have acted without that influence.

 

I am very glad I saw your response to my previous review before reading this chapter, because without it I think I would have been utterly confused by what was going on between them.  'Centuries of animosity', and the rest of that paragraph, felt to me more hostile either than canon or your story so far. It definitely feels as if there is something we haven't seen; I hope at least a little of the Volterra background you cut shows up more in the next chapters, or in an outtake.  (Please? ;)

 

I loved his observation on Aro's plea for forgiveness - I hadn't spotted that myself and what you say makes a lot of sense.  Again, I'm really looking forward to seeing where you go with this.  (And what lay behind it!)

 

My favourite scenes from the rest of the chapter were those with Alister.  As I said before, I read your story this far before I read 'Breaking Dawn', and wondering who the heck Alister was, went to consult the Twilight wiki, only to find no mention of him at all!  Having read BD I can see why he might have been overlooked by most people; you have done such an excellent job of fleshing him out.  (Perhaps I can relate more to the sense of 'needing to do something' and having to step into the unknown to get there than I can to the more definied superpowers.) Have you written anything else about him?  I'd love to read it.  I also love the idea of him scheming to bring the Volturi to power.  I bet they'd be rather miffed to know the extent of that.

 

The reunion with the Denali clan is well done - your previous work in making the vampires more vulnerable gave it a lot more impact as Eleazar and co were made to realise how much their lack of support could have cost.  I liked Emmett's response in particular.

(Also, I think you may need a section divider between that scene and the next?  Or perhaps it just isn't showing for me)

 

I am sorry you didn't include his reaction to Alice's 'defection'.  Perhaps it would not have torn at him as much as if one of the vampires he had turned himself had gone - might he have thought somewhere at the bottom of his mind that their stay would only be temporary?  Or did he on some level trust her to come back and was keeping it to himself?  I can't imagine it would have had *no* impact on him.  Also, at the moment when Alice saw the Volturi coming, it felt a little frustrating to be so far outside his head.  He doesn't speak for a long time compared to the others, and when he does his question is 'Why' - I'd love to know what was flashing through his mind up to that point.  Come to that, I'd have also been curious to know more about he felt about Bella's plan to go to Volterra alone, particularly as he would have been the one to go part of the way with her.

 

Finally, it's intriguing that Carlisle can sense Bella's power.  Are the two related in your view, I wonder?  Bella's gift in canon seemed less emotional than Carlisle's.  Which makes me wonder whether Carlisle's gift affects Bella when she's shielded?  Not that he'd feel the need to use it on her.

 

Hmm, seems that this chapter has raised yet more questions!  Am looking forward to seeing what happens next!

 

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again chthonia -- LOL man, and I still haven't answered all the questions from your first post!  For the sake of time I'm gonna defer the discussion of Aro & Carlisle back to the forum (I promise to get back to that soon, I'm busy getting back to school right now) and instead focus on just a couple things:

RE: Alistair -- I haven't written any more on him than some vague outlines for this story, but trust me I have thought very seriously about writing his full story too. :)  I will add him to my list of requests for outtakes, but I want to do him more justice than that!

RE: Alice -- I started to rewrite that scene but to be honest, as I went along adding in Carlisle's thoughts, he really didn't have any NEW insight to bring to that scene, that scene was really more about BELLA, and her subterfuge with Alice, which was way more compelling than Carlisle's sadness at Alice leaving.  I threw that in with Carlisle's discussion with Eleazar before he speaks to Alistair when he is being pulled away.  I had a similar problem with the discussion of the Volturi coming, Carlisle doesn't have many thoughts to add to what is being said until he understands Alice's vision.  So really, he's just watching it all in horror.

RE: Bella' power -- muahaha -- Bella's gift is less emotional than Carlisle's but his isn't really emotional either, what is similar about them is that they come from the same DNA, their powers flow through each other, so her shield doesn't block him.  HOWEVER, she has also been influenced by Carlisle's power and all of the vampires Carlisle changed, who all exert a little of the same influence of Carlisle, in addition to him.  Bella's gotten a massive dose of the Cullen power all prior to being changed.  She's got more going on than just her shield.  ;)

See you on the FORUM -- I'll be back on there by the end of the week, I hope.

Next chapter is in the queue!

I loved it. I have a question I might have over looked it in the past, but what is Carlisle's power? And I am wondering what is next for our favo family? Can't wait for more.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again ttcub -- muahaha -- check page one of the FORUM, I'm not giving all my ideas because I'd love to see what you think his power is, but I posted a few ideas and one answer (kinda) about what I think Carlisle's power is!

Next chapter is in the queue!

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This is really excellent: you've done a marvellous job of taking a character who is presented in canon as the Epitome of All That Is Good and showing how he struggled to get there.  Carlisle's early journeys through history and Europe are fascinating (I love that he knew the philosophers Jasper later studied - I guess that could have made for some interesting essays!).  I actually read this before I read Breaking Dawn, and having a prior introduction to the European vampires made it much easier to see them all as separate people.  It's hard to say, as I read your version first, but from my viewpoint you've fleshed them out brilliantly, especially Alistair.  (I'm wondering what he was going to do in Rome that made the Volturi want to stop him - did I miss something?)

After so many chapters of lonely soul-searching, watching the family come together brought tears to my eyes - especially Alice and Jasper's arrival.  Carlisle empathising with Esme over their shared experience of abuse was at once heart warming and heart rending. I liked that Rosalie and Emmet had the start of a relationship before he was turned (though perhaps it would have been just as much of an improvement and a tad more canonical if she had been watching him but he had been unaware?).

The book chapters are a little harder, I think.  In some places the melding of canon text and your interpretation of Carlisle's gift is meticulous (the confrontation with Jane in 'Eclipse', for example.  And the Carlisle PoV during the stand-off with James and Laurent was well done.  There were a couple of places in the Eclipse chapter where I felt you had fallen out of Carlisle PoV a little, though.  The line that jumped out at me was "Jasper’s eyes narrowed.  Carlisle’s eyes widened"; I'm not sure why that more than any other, but given the shock of considering his family was a target, to just have a visual reaction made me feel much more outside his head than the rest of the story.

The one think I'd have liked to see more of (and I admit a bias, as I came to the story looking for this) is the relationship between Aro and Carlisle.  Just as you've suggested in responses to other reviews that you've made Rosalie a little more sympathetic, I feel that you've blackened the Volturi somewhat beyond canon.  I'm wondering whether that's because you don't like them, or if there's a plot point to it.  Admittedly the Volturi are unequivocally the bad guys in Breaking Dawn, but up to their late arrival in Eclipse both Carlisle and Jasper seemed to have some respect that went beyond the 'dislike but tolerate' attitude of the European nomads Carlisle meets.  And what was with the lurid entrance?  Extrapolating back from the appearance of the place in 'New Moon', I'd have thought that there would have been a facade of respectability. I don't get the impression that the Volturi revel in human carnage, more that they view human life as irrelevant as a carnivore today regards the life of a cow or a pig.  A difference in interpretation, perhaps.

That said, I loved Aro's first scene, and his delight in Carlisle's 'collection', and Carlisle's brilliant answer to Aro's question about why he wanted to help humans.  But I would have loved to see you develop that conversation further.  How would Aro interpret a statement such as “What other purpose can God have for an eternal life but to help others?”, when he was brought up in a polytheistic pagan society, and Carlisle's religion had only existed for half his lifetime?  Given Carlisle's desire to learn about vampire society, and Aro's curiosity about everything, they must have had some fascinating ethical/philosophical/theological discussions.  (I didn't mention earlier how much I enjoyed hearing Carlisle discuss his theological problems, did I?  Well I did.)  I suppose it's only my interpretation, but a mutual desire to understand (despite distaste on both sides) and an interest in the arts would seem to lay the foundation for the sort of past relationship that was hinted at in canon.  I feel that you've side-stepped this somewhat with the relationship with Raisa so that half of Carlisle's stay in Volterra was not about the relationship with the Volturi at all, and that he left with more of a grudge than is suggested in the books.

So I'm really looking forward to seeing what you do with the scene in Breaking Dawn, when they come face to face again.  Particularly as I've read your oneshot, and am most curious to see how you get there from here.

Speaking of which, it wasn't until I was half-way through and had read some of the responses to reviews about Carlisle's weakness in the last chapter that I started to grasp the significance of the title.  My impression at that point (before reading the oneshot) was that it was the use of Carlisle's gift to change the hearts (?) of others that was draining him.  Which immediately made me wonder about what effect spending 15 or 30 years in close proximity to Aro would have had on the latter.  (Erm, please excuse my Aro fixation.)  Several characters have hinted that he would change vampires, and I was wondering if part of that would be a change in the Volturi's modus operandi (as opposed to everyone else taking them down, as suggested in the 4th book).  I realise now that that's not entirely what you're getting at - I'll be interested to see how you play this out.  And, of course, to see Carlisle's perspective on 'Breaking Dawn'.

For the avoidance of doubt, please don't take any of the above as a negative criticism - you've put such a lot into your story that it gave me a lot to think about.  And to whatever extent your interpretation of Aro and Carlisle agrees or disagrees with mine, I'm genuinely interested to know what you think.  And whether or not you feel like elaborating on that, I'm looking toward to reading more.

 

Author's Response:

Thank you so very much for your BRILLIANT comments chthonia -- I got your message, I'm glad the website finally allowed you to review.

I want to respond to everything you've posted here, so I'm going to work through it paragraph by paragraph on the FORUM THREAD so others can see this discussion too without wading through the reviews :)  If you're not a forum member (it's very easy to join) or if dealing with that becomes too annoying (as sometimes things don't work perfectly :)) just send me another message and I'll send my full response!

But I can't resist saying just this one thing -- you are correct about Aro and Carlisle.  I chose to say less rather than more during the Volterra chapters because while I have other conversations between Aro and Carlisle outlined, the one I included seemed to say almost EVERYTHING important, and in the end the narrative suffered from s-l-o-w pacing when I put back in even one or two more philosophical convos between them.

And while their relationship (as I see it) DID indeed have a sexual component, I did not include a sex scene because I was explicit in saying that Aro never physically touched Carlisle until the day Carlisle walked away and that is narratively KEY because of Aro's particular gift, and it's too easy to assume wtih Aro being the older, more experienced vampire, and their differing personalities (Aro-aggressive, Carlisle-compassionate) that Aro would have been dominant over Carlisle.  That is not at all the case in my story, so I kept their relationship in tension, not consummated.  Aro respects/fears Carlisle so completely that their relationship has been one of almost equals from the start, and the fascination/desire was also equal.  The final reason their relationship was never consummated in my story was that SM's books say explicitly that Aro has a wife, and SM's Carlisle has a female mate.  Sexual desires and practices are obviously not so clear cut as hetero and homosexual, but while my interpretation of Aro and Carlisle may jive with yours, others may disagree and interpret SM's characters as she explicitly presented them (not as what we felt was implied).  So I chose to leave the final character of their relationship open to reader interpretation.

I will say that there is indeed more on their relationship and on the effect of Carlisle's power on Aro during their 30 years together in the BD chapter, and I will post more on the FORUM!! :)

BD chapter is in the queue and will be posted soon, my schedule and my beta's schedule have both been packed over the holiday.  We will be back on track very soon.

Very good.

Author's Response:

Thank you for taking the time to review Arabella -- I love getting comments on each chapter as you read it.  I'm glad that so far you are connecting to characters like Hawthorne and some of the theological discussions.  I look forward to seeing what you think of the rest!

Very good, I really like the Discussion of light and dark. Very good.

Very good.

Hi, I fell into your story by accident. I am loving it. You are an excellent writer and have a real feel for the characters. I only read well written fanfics and yours is definitely very well written. I love all of the wonderful twists and your inclusion of a historical perspective. I have always felt that with so many years of experience, the Cullens would have reflected on the various domestic, political, cultural and global occurences  in their world.  Thank you for including the African-American family and their perspective in your work. I have not come across this in other fanfics. I am enjoying your story very much. I am an Edward lover so I have to I confess, I did initially skip ahead to 1918; however your writing is so good that I went back to the first chapter and am very impressed. I look forward to completing your fan fic.

Author's Response:

Thanks for taking the time to review akaalice -- I'm really glad you have enjoyed it so far, and I consider it a great compliment when Edward-lovers like my story at all :)  I'm glad you liked the historic perspective, I tried very hard NOT to make Carlisle like Forrest Gump, but instead focused on key events, and tried to bring them down to a personal level.

The next chapter is in the queue.

I loved the action in this Chapter. I would like to hear more about the physical damage that the vampire's experience and how they heal if they are stagnant. I remember in an earlier chapter Carlisle reattached limbs with heat. If you have time to post on this in your thread, that would be great.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again Alizabeth -- I loved writing the action.  I wanted to show the vampires and werewolves really working together, not in separate units fighting two separate groups of newborns.
And GREAT question about the issue of physical damage.  I will say that my theory is that there are "levels" of damage.  Minor cracks are not on the same level as a dismembered limb, but I will post a bit tonight on the FORUM to satisfy your curiosity on that point because it is a very good one!

Eclipse is my favorite story of the four canon books.  You more than did Carlisle's tale justice.  I liked that you made sure to include the disagreement with the Denali coven-- I was very interested in how that would come across.  Eleazar's apology after the fact was terribly sweet.  I bet his conversation with Tanya was not so much.  They're family-- I bet it was no holds barred!

The Volturi confrontation was very creepy.  Well done.

Can't wait for Carlise's geek-speak about Bella's pregnancy!  LOL.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again anais -- I know you were waiting for this chapter, and I'm really glad you were not disappointed ;)  I'm glad the Denali coven stuff worked so well for you, it was a delicate balance.  And you are right, Eleazar's wrath when he got home was pretty terrible.  You'll see the result of that in the next chapter when the Denali coven arrives for the wedding. ;)

Of all of the scenes that I "edited" the Volturi confrontation was my favorite.  I loved writing in the extra Carlisle bits, the bits about his power, and the bits of telepathic conversation with Edward.  This was the first scene I read where I really got the impression there had to be more to Carlisle's power because of Jane's reaction to him.
Lots of good geek-speak about the human/vampire hybrid coming up ;)  I'll post the next chapter in the queue after Christmas.

This story is spectacular!  I absolutely adore how you flushed out Carlisle and his history... it was so compelling and revealing... not a false note to be found.  It made me dig Allistair more.... and I loved discovering how he met/knew all the witness vampires.  

I sincerely enjoyed this .... and feel that this absolutely IS the backstory to carlisle just like "You've Kept Me Waiting" by Mandi1 is truly the back story to Alice and Jasper ...  

 

and now getting Carlisle's pov of each book.... very nice.... I would be very interested in a chapter or 2 of his history beyond breaking dawn, too... just sayin'.  :) Keep up the great work and I hope you update soon!!

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing reebisgirl -- I'm really glad that you've enjoyed it so far.  Alistair and Eleazar are two of my favorites, but I love all of the characters of this book.  I'm actually quite new to the Twi-fanfiction, so thanks for recommending a good Alice and Jasper story.

I saw that you read the WM one-shot for Twicon, so you know that the book goes beyond BD, and the full book version gives a bit more than the one-shot, so there's more to come!  The next "book" chapter should be posted early this week.  Let me know what you think of the rest.

Ah, I see what you meant by changes.  I am glad you gave us more insight on Carmen and Eleazar in this chapter.  I loved that Eleazar threw his pendant at Aro!  I knew he would stick up for Carlisle somehow!  I'll have to go back and read all your chapters more carefully since I am sure I may have missed something.  Before, I was simply reviewing my favs in the hopes that others would see how much I enjoyed and would be compelled to read.  I don't do the forums (my obsession is already too much) but if you do outtakes, I'd love to see those too ;-).  Thanks in advance for the final pdf, that was so nice of you to offer.  I sent the one you preveiously emailed me to my sister and she is loving it too.

Author's Response:

Yeah, one of my friends wanted Eleazar to blast Aro, but I loved the poetry of Eleazar tossing his pendant back at Aro.  I imagine he let it hit him and fall to the ground ;)

You can wait until it's all done and posted before you go back and re-read the whole thing again ;)  Out-takes may be a little while, I'm working on a new Carlisle story.

Tell your sister to let me know what she thinks of it on FB!

This is just a brief review, a few thoughts on your latest wonderful chapter.  I'm sure you'll find my thoughts disjointed, but I'll just jump right in ...

Carlisle is blaming himself for Jasper's attack on Bella?  This surprised me at first, but then I realised that it made perfect sense.  As the patriarch, Carlisle takes the well-being of every member of his family very seriously. 

I would have really liked more expansion, especially on the time period between Bella's ill-fated birthday party and the Cullens' departure from Forks.  I am by nature a greedy person, and want more, more, more because I love your writing so much.  Could you be convinced to write an outtake?  Or several outtakes?

The Ithaca interlude was great.  The bit with Emmett punching a tree into kindling was spot-on.

What's going on with Carlisle's vertigo?  I have the feeling you're setting something up for your post-Breaking Dawn chapters.

As a final note, I really liked the look inside Carlisle's head during the big meeting.  Carlisle's focus is on protecting Bella and the rest of his family, of course.

Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing again DiH --

I'm glad Carlisle's guilt made sense to you, he takes on too much responsibility, but he feels very keenly responsible for everything his family does, especially when humans are involved.

LOL about the outtakes -- it's funny, I originally smushed all four books into TWO chapters, but a wise and GREEDY friend of mine said "NO!! I WANT MORE!!" and she sent me a list of all the scenes she wanted me to write.  I had been avoiding it because I wanted the story to be all my work, and I didn't want to re-write SM scenes, but I'm so grateful she forced me to face it.  Right now I'm just trying to finish posting the book, but I may consider writing one-shots of outtakes later this semester.  Watch the FORUM, because if I do decide to do it, I'll probably post there asking for requests ;)

RE: vertigo -- yep, that is a total setup.  I'll post just a little more on that on the FORUM, but it will all be clear very soon.

Glad you liked the CPOV at the vote :)  That was fun to write.  Next chapter is in the queue!