Nicely done ending. There were a few minor factual things that didn't seem to add up (related to Carlisle, Taha Aki, and Ephriam Black), but I tried to just ignore them. So often it seems I read a good story (and sometimes even published book!) where I loved the whole thing...until the closing.  If the end is not done well, it taints the whole thing, imo.  But this epilogue left me with a warm feeling.  

When Aro finds out about Jane and Alec, he will not be a happy camper!

Right when you said the word imprint is right when It stopped ready. LATER. 

Well story Plot was kind of Lame , i mean no One get killed, if caius want to kill cullens, then why d0n,t he did when he capture them ? Your writting skills are Good, but you need to work on Plot,over all it was a Good attempt, wish you best of Luck for your upcoming stories, just messege if u need any kind of help, On Plot or anything, it was a Pleasure reading.

""Now that the vampires have hunted and the wolves have eaten us old folks out of house and home," I said loudly to quiet the group, "perhaps it is time that we consider adding to the rich and colorful library of Quileute legends."" HEHE

I like the idea of creating new traditons.

""It took a girl, caught between two very different worlds, to bridge the gap between our people." I didn't have to look at Bella to direct the attention of the group to her. It was too bad she couldn't blush anymore."" Bella would so be blushing if she could!

""And so it has been decided that the Cold Ones with the yellow eyes are no longer the natural enemies of the Quileute. The Cold Ones with the yellow eyes, the Cullens, are friends of the Quileute. They will be always welcome on Quileute land. And should they need aid again, they need only call upon their friends, the Quileute.

"We welcome Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Bella to the Quileute nation."

The pack brothers and sister, Sue, Quil Sr. and Emily stood up and opened their arms in a traditional sign of welcome."" I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

I liked Carlisle's speech. It was a good way to end the story.

Yep Aro's mad.

Its kind of cool getting inside Demetri's thoughts.

""Athenodora drifted close to me.

"Help them, Demetri, my son," she whispered as she passed me."" So it was Demetri. Interesting. I wonder if Demetri really is Athenodora's son. That wouldbe cool!

""No one listens if you talk normally; whisper and your secrets are as good as gone. "Watch me. When I stretch one arm out, go that way quickly. I'll guide you out of the city. Go home. And try to find anyone who might be coming after you on your way. I don't know how many I can help escape."" I'm glad that Demetri's going to help the Esme and Bella return to the Cullens, as well as anyone they meet on the way.

Its so cool that Demetri is just like Nessie. Its also cool that he wants to join the Cullens, become a vegetarian.

HAHA I LOVE Emmett!!!

I like how Rosalie told Emmett of how her and carlisle's relationship has changed for the better.

YAY The Cullens will all meet up in Munich!

""Mostly, I think Caius accidentally grabbed me and didn't particularly care what I did," I answered with an honest chuckle.

"We're quite a pair, babe," she laughed back. "Jane and Alec felt the same about me, even though just Edward was there."

"Let's face it, Rose. We're always going to be last on the totem pole in this family of annoying overachievers," I muttered playfully, grinning at Carlisle's grimace in the rearview mirror."" This kind of funny!

""Jasper's new best friend seems to be Emily, and by association, Sam. All the kids on the reservation want Nessie to stick around so they can turn into werewolves. And Billy Black knows more about me than I know about myself."" I LOVE THIS! Its interesting that kids in La Push want to become werewolves. it seems that lots of secrets have been released.

""Yes," Demetri replied with a cringe. "I suppose I'll have to lay it all out, won't I? Caius is my father. Athenodora, my mother. He changed her after my birth. She wants me to leave. He, frankly, couldn't care less, as long as I never threaten him."" Just goes to show how different Edward and Caius are as fathers. Edward the better one.

I like that Carlisle is going to allow Demetri to talk to the other members of the Cullen family to see if he can join them. Carlisle's condition is important though.

""Rose, happy with her position of authority, easily agreed to Carlisle's instructions, and with Bella, we headed to the airport to fly home to our family."" OH Rosalie! I do like you!

YAY Charlie's POV!

""Grandpa?"

Carlisle and I were standing in Billy's yard together, and I wasn't sure which of us Nessie was talking"" That would be confusing.

I LOVe how Charlie calls her Nessie girl.

Oh Nessie! I'm glad that Charlie told htat he still loved her even though she was half vampire and Bella and Edward' biological daughter.

""You think you'll get tired of Grandpa Carlisle first?" I laughed with her as he put on a playful pout, guessing rightly what she had shown me. "That's fine by me. Which reminds me, Nessie girl, just how old is Grandpa Carlisle?"

I was glad I had sat down when she answered, "He was born sometime in the 1640s," she announced proudly. "In London."

"Yep," I sighed dramatically as I processed that one. "I can see you getting tired of him first."" This was funny, Charlie and Carlisle sure know how to make her laugh. Nessie has three wonderful grandpa's.

""That, unfortunately, meant that he was feeling well enough to gripe vocally and mentally about being eternally indebted to Rosalie."" Well its better than him dying.

Don't go breaking Charlie's hand Nessie!

Oooooohhhhhhhh I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EDWARD's reunion with Nessie! It was so sweet! I also love how she showed what she had been doing to help Jasper. She's been a good doctor to Jasper.

""Emily makes the best blueberry muffins! I think they're better than some blood. Maybe even human!" she gushed happily. "And I had steak, rare, of course, and mashed potatoes. And then, when I stayed at Grandpa Charlie's when Auntie Alice didn't feel well, he ordered takeout pizza. And guess what!"

"What?" I repeated with an honest, completely unforced smile; her happiness was infectious."" Nessie's happiness is infectious, and I'm sure Edward is proud of her for eating human food.

Poor Alice! I hope she gets better!

""Did Seth tell you that Jacob is crabby because Auntie Rosalie had to save his life and now he owes her?"

"Jake!" she scolded as she hurried over to him. "Don't be crabby! It's rude!"

I laughed with Billy at the scolding my small daughter was giving the massive shape-shifter."" Oh Nessie, you're adorable.

Its interesting that Jane took Edward because she wanted him for her mate.

Nessie is such a good doctor!

I like how Charlie hugged Edward, and that Edward returned it.

I LOVE how we get Emily's POV in this chapter.

I LOVE how the only human food Nessie will eat are Emily's blueberry muffins. Nessie has very good taste.
I'm glad Jasper's healed enough to move around and he's helping Emily. Emily was right about them being similar in regards to scars and not being able to live without their mates.

""I felt the pain, anger, and fear flare in the vampire next to me. I instinctively put my hand on his arm and tried to calm him. "She fixed you, Jasper. You know that she did. Maybe she just needs you to fix her."" I LOVE this!!!!!!!!! Emily is awesome! Alice probably does need Jasper to fix her.

Hurray for Carlisle's POV!

""Peter, Charlotte, and even Paul and Jared had offered to take a turn and carry Alice part of the way home. But I couldn't let them. I couldn't let go of her. She was my daughter, and I couldn't let her go. I knew they wouldn't hurt her. Not like Maria had hurt her. But I had to take her home. Me. No one else."" I LOVE THIS!!!!! Carlisle's a wonderful father.

""Instead, he held out his arms for her.

I carried her through open kitchen and set her on his lap. She quickly snaked her arms around his neck and buried her face in his throat. He gently wrapped his arms her small body and began to murmur quietly to her."' Alice and Jasper are reunited.

""I think perhaps it is time to recognize that we are no longer just allies," Billy said, as Sam nodded in agreement. "We are a family. One big, strange, supernatural family. And families do whatever they have to do to remain a family."" I really rather like this, and it is true that they are one big strange family since Jacob imnprinted on Nessie.

I love that Emily and Jasper have formed  friendship and also how Nessie greeted Carlisle.
Nessie shouldn't have to hide her worrying, she should be allowed to be a child.

That was great - really nicely written and good sentiments between the 2 groups.

Thank you

Achilles

Great story, short but not any filler junk.

 

Thank you,

Well this is the first fic I've read on twilighted since I'm a newbie. I am on FF however (under the username glasgowgirl), and I am disappointed I never came accross your fic there or I would have read it much sooner.

Anyways, you have penned a great continuation of the twilight saga, that stays true to canon characters. The plotline is fluid and imaginative, and contains the perfect blend of friendship, love, angst and drama. The story is grammatically flawless, and you have made good use of paragraphs, word choice and punctuation.

I like the teen style narrative you used, it was very fitting to the scenes included, and I also liked the switching view point.

If your story is a guidline of what I'm likely to find hear at twilighted, then I'm definetly glad I joined. I look forward to reading more of your work, your a very gifted author and have penned an intriguing fic.

Well done =)...x

Author's Response:

My fic was the first you read on Twilighted? I'm so happy you liked it too! And you said I'm gifted...you made my day!

I promise that you'll like Twilighted. I prefer it to FF because they are much more selective about the quality of stories and the writing as a whole is a much better caliber. I honestly don't know that there's a story at Twilighted that I've read and truly not liked. But I'm just discovering AH stories, so I certainly haven't read everything. Feel free to check out my favorites on my profile page. I'm guessing that I probably like things similar to what I write best so you might like some of them, too.

As to this story, some people didn't like the switching viewpoints at all, so I'm thrilled to find someone else who liked them!

Thanks so much for all of your amazingly kind words!

This was so sweet. 

Drama, intrigue and jealousies add spice to a fic, but love, understanding and togetherness as two types of supernatural beings accept, defend and protect each other, adds depth.  Thanks for sharing.

this was really imaginative!

i like it ALOT! <3