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Reviewer: RebeccaJ1973 (Signed) · Date: April 29, 2016 10:27 PM · On: Epilogue

Nicely done ending. There were a few minor factual things that didn't seem to add up (related to Carlisle, Taha Aki, and Ephriam Black), but I tried to just ignore them. So often it seems I read a good story (and sometimes even published book!) where I loved the whole thing...until the closing.  If the end is not done well, it taints the whole thing, imo.  But this epilogue left me with a warm feeling.  

Reviewer: RebeccaJ1973 (Signed) · Date: April 29, 2016 10:39 AM · On: Bargains and Plans

I keep reminding myself that you did list this as AU (though, if I recall, it seemed a marginal or questionable placement in the notes at the start of the story); however, it is making me crazy how some aspects are not following the characteristics portrayed in the original Twilight books.  The most notable example would be the situation with Demetri.  How could there possibly be a hybrid living among the Volturi all this time and yet they had never heard of such a thing when they encountered Renesmee' (Aro was thrilled with the new discovery and Caius was accusing them of artifice when told she was not a full vampire).  And, of course, the screamingly obvious trait that should have clued in all vampires to the existence of a hybrid would be his heartbeat (and he should also have had a different body temperature and flushed cheeks).  The other thing that I kept thinking was how odd it would be for such a highly gifted vampire to have come from two non-gifted parents (from the few examples I've seen of vampires or hybrids who are biologically related, it seems that being gifted tends towards being genetic.  Jane and Alec, Aro and Didyme, and Bella, Edward and Renesmee' are all examples from which I base this argument).

I don't mean to only say something negative because, for the most part, I've enjoyed this story (the Rosalie part with Carlisle while they were on La Push was the only part I thought should have been omitted.  It just felt out of place and unnecessary to me).

 

This last bit is not just from your story, but since it also related to Carlise and Rose, I thought I'd vent a bit (please skip it if you think you'll take it as a criticism because it is not meant to be such.  I've seen way too many people do the same thing - including S. Meyer, for that matter - for me to imply it is just you).  -- I find that anytime it is suggested that Carlisle cheated Rose out of the life she wanted I want to scream since it was her fiance who did that.  That life was lost due to his actions, not Carlisle's.  All Carlisle did was give her a chance at making a new future for herself rather than just dying.  Sadly, whether he changed her or not, she was never going to have the children she'd dreamed of having.  I can buy that she might have preferred to die rather than be changed and thus resents being a vampire, but the implication that she harbors all this resentment because Carlise stole her dreams from her seems to be a twisted reality to me.  (In the books, I don't recall her ever stating that she feels it was Carlise who cost her her chance to be a mother, but it is rather clear that she would have preferred to live her life normally and die at a ripe old age.  Since that wasn't going to happen either choice Carlisle made, I've never understood the huge chip she seemed to carry unless she would have chosen death over vampirism.)

Reviewer: NanStew (Signed) · Date: April 11, 2016 05:48 AM · On: Bargains and Plans

When Aro finds out about Jane and Alec, he will not be a happy camper!

Reviewer: Syndi-Dowell (Signed) · Date: June 09, 2014 01:25 AM · On: Epilogue

Lovely story.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: February 23, 2014 01:29 AM · On: Call to Action

Right when you said the word imprint is right when It stopped ready. LATER. 

Reviewer: SalazarEmrys (Signed) · Date: October 18, 2013 05:55 PM · On: Epilogue

Well story Plot was kind of Lame , i mean no One get killed, if caius want to kill cullens, then why d0n,t he did when he capture them ? Your writting skills are Good, but you need to work on Plot,over all it was a Good attempt, wish you best of Luck for your upcoming stories, just messege if u need any kind of help, On Plot or anything, it was a Pleasure reading.

Reviewer: SalazarEmrys (Signed) · Date: October 18, 2013 05:54 PM · On: Epilogue

Well story Plot was kind of Lame , i mean no One get killed, if caius want to kill cullens, then why d0n,t he did when he capture them ? Your writting skills are Good, but you need to work on Plot,over all it was a Good attempt, wish you best of Luck for your upcoming stories, just messege if u need any kind of help, On Plot or anything, it was a Pleasure reading.

Reviewer: Karmabites76 (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 05:05 AM · On: Epilogue

Soooooo freaking awesome!!!! :)

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 04:10 PM · On: Epilogue

""Now that the vampires have hunted and the wolves have eaten us old folks out of house and home," I said loudly to quiet the group, "perhaps it is time that we consider adding to the rich and colorful library of Quileute legends."" HEHE

I like the idea of creating new traditons.

""It took a girl, caught between two very different worlds, to bridge the gap between our people." I didn't have to look at Bella to direct the attention of the group to her. It was too bad she couldn't blush anymore."" Bella would so be blushing if she could!

""And so it has been decided that the Cold Ones with the yellow eyes are no longer the natural enemies of the Quileute. The Cold Ones with the yellow eyes, the Cullens, are friends of the Quileute. They will be always welcome on Quileute land. And should they need aid again, they need only call upon their friends, the Quileute.

"We welcome Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and Bella to the Quileute nation."

The pack brothers and sister, Sue, Quil Sr. and Emily stood up and opened their arms in a traditional sign of welcome."" I LOVE THIS!!!!!!

I liked Carlisle's speech. It was a good way to end the story.

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 04:03 PM · On: Homecoming

""It was the sweetest, most welcome word in the English language. In any language, really.

"Momma!"

My daughter almost literally flew into my arms the very second I got out of the car."" AWE!!!!!!!!!!!

"May I get down, please?" she giggled quietly. "That way you can hug Daddy without squishing me."

Edward laughed, just as beautifully."" This is just cute.

""Gross!" our daughter squealed from beside us. "You told me to come back, and you're doing that? I even brought Grandpa Charlie over!"" HAHA Nessie, Nessie, Nessie!

YAY ALice's POV!!!!!

I'm glad that she wanted to see if her vision came true before she told anyone.

I like that Sam invited the Cullens to the celebration ceremony.

its good that Demetri is  doing his transition in Alaska. Who knows maybe he and Tanya are mates?

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 03:53 PM · On: Bargains and Plans

Yep Aro's mad.

Its kind of cool getting inside Demetri's thoughts.

""Athenodora drifted close to me.

"Help them, Demetri, my son," she whispered as she passed me."" So it was Demetri. Interesting. I wonder if Demetri really is Athenodora's son. That wouldbe cool!

""No one listens if you talk normally; whisper and your secrets are as good as gone. "Watch me. When I stretch one arm out, go that way quickly. I'll guide you out of the city. Go home. And try to find anyone who might be coming after you on your way. I don't know how many I can help escape."" I'm glad that Demetri's going to help the Esme and Bella return to the Cullens, as well as anyone they meet on the way.

Its so cool that Demetri is just like Nessie. Its also cool that he wants to join the Cullens, become a vegetarian.

HAHA I LOVE Emmett!!!

I like how Rosalie told Emmett of how her and carlisle's relationship has changed for the better.

YAY The Cullens will all meet up in Munich!

""Mostly, I think Caius accidentally grabbed me and didn't particularly care what I did," I answered with an honest chuckle.

"We're quite a pair, babe," she laughed back. "Jane and Alec felt the same about me, even though just Edward was there."

"Let's face it, Rose. We're always going to be last on the totem pole in this family of annoying overachievers," I muttered playfully, grinning at Carlisle's grimace in the rearview mirror."" This kind of funny!

""Jasper's new best friend seems to be Emily, and by association, Sam. All the kids on the reservation want Nessie to stick around so they can turn into werewolves. And Billy Black knows more about me than I know about myself."" I LOVE THIS! Its interesting that kids in La Push want to become werewolves. it seems that lots of secrets have been released.

""Yes," Demetri replied with a cringe. "I suppose I'll have to lay it all out, won't I? Caius is my father. Athenodora, my mother. He changed her after my birth. She wants me to leave. He, frankly, couldn't care less, as long as I never threaten him."" Just goes to show how different Edward and Caius are as fathers. Edward the better one.

I like that Carlisle is going to allow Demetri to talk to the other members of the Cullen family to see if he can join them. Carlisle's condition is important though.

""Rose, happy with her position of authority, easily agreed to Carlisle's instructions, and with Bella, we headed to the airport to fly home to our family."" OH Rosalie! I do like you!

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 03:36 PM · On: Parent

I like that Athenodora told Esme and Bella bout the plans Caius had about a certain vampire who could helped them out.
I don't think its Felix or Demetri, instead, I think Its Renata. She's always by Aro's throne.

Rosalie's POV, I absolutely Love everyhting about her pov, how she, Billy and Carlisle have a heart to heart talk, how Rosalie tells Carlisle that she had forgiven him for changing her.

I LOVE the mental image of Jasper and Alice playing chinese checkers with Sam and Emily.

""Nessie tugged on my shirt as I packed a few necessities into a bag for the trip. "Auntie Rosalie?" she whispered as I knelt down to her level. "You can take Daddy with you if you want to."

"Sweetie pie, we already talked about that," I reminded her gently. "Daddy is staying here with you, Auntie Alice, and Uncle Jasper. Your Momma would be very, very mad if he left you again, wouldn't she?"

Nessie giggled softly and nodded in agreement. "Maybe he can help Auntie Alice some, anyway. Do you think she'll ever be okay again?"" I LOVE NEssie!  Once their all back together, they can all help Alice return to her normal self.

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 03:19 PM · On: Accepting the Inevitable

YAY Charlie's POV!

""Grandpa?"

Carlisle and I were standing in Billy's yard together, and I wasn't sure which of us Nessie was talking"" That would be confusing.

I LOVe how Charlie calls her Nessie girl.

Oh Nessie! I'm glad that Charlie told htat he still loved her even though she was half vampire and Bella and Edward' biological daughter.

""You think you'll get tired of Grandpa Carlisle first?" I laughed with her as he put on a playful pout, guessing rightly what she had shown me. "That's fine by me. Which reminds me, Nessie girl, just how old is Grandpa Carlisle?"

I was glad I had sat down when she answered, "He was born sometime in the 1640s," she announced proudly. "In London."

"Yep," I sighed dramatically as I processed that one. "I can see you getting tired of him first."" This was funny, Charlie and Carlisle sure know how to make her laugh. Nessie has three wonderful grandpa's.

""That, unfortunately, meant that he was feeling well enough to gripe vocally and mentally about being eternally indebted to Rosalie."" Well its better than him dying.

Don't go breaking Charlie's hand Nessie!

Oooooohhhhhhhh I ABSOLUTELY LOVE EDWARD's reunion with Nessie! It was so sweet! I also love how she showed what she had been doing to help Jasper. She's been a good doctor to Jasper.

""Emily makes the best blueberry muffins! I think they're better than some blood. Maybe even human!" she gushed happily. "And I had steak, rare, of course, and mashed potatoes. And then, when I stayed at Grandpa Charlie's when Auntie Alice didn't feel well, he ordered takeout pizza. And guess what!"

"What?" I repeated with an honest, completely unforced smile; her happiness was infectious."" Nessie's happiness is infectious, and I'm sure Edward is proud of her for eating human food.

Poor Alice! I hope she gets better!

""Did Seth tell you that Jacob is crabby because Auntie Rosalie had to save his life and now he owes her?"

"Jake!" she scolded as she hurried over to him. "Don't be crabby! It's rude!"

I laughed with Billy at the scolding my small daughter was giving the massive shape-shifter."" Oh Nessie, you're adorable.

Its interesting that Jane took Edward because she wanted him for her mate.

Nessie is such a good doctor!

I like how Charlie hugged Edward, and that Edward returned it.

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 03:03 PM · On: Strategy

It is wierd that Caius is going to Romania, but t he does want to make a point to Aro and Marcus taht would be the place to go.

""Would it be easier if you had five on your side?" a different voice said from behind us.

"Emmett?" Kate gasped, spinning to face him and throwing her arms around him. "We thought you were with Caius!"

"I was," he replied with a grim smile. "Esme and Bella are with him. They convinced me to get away to get help if I could. So let's do this."" YAY Emmett's alive. So Esme and Bella are with Caius, which means Rosalie and Edward are with Jane.

I'm glad that Esme and Bella convinced Emmett to get away. Its lucky that the Denali's ran into him.

""Dude, Jake, this super soft, super nice pack leader stuff is getting old. Sam doesn't order us around anymore, and neither do you. We get it. We are all perfectly free to come and go as we please. We are here, and we are staying. Deal with it.

Jacob snorted a laugh. That would've been a great speech without the 'dude.'

Aw, pipe down, man, Embry grunted, nudging Jake's shoulder with his snout"" Oh Embry you are awesome!

 Good Rosalie and Edward are okay.

While it must have hurt, I'm glad that Tanya and Rosalie took on Jane's gift to give the wolves time to take out Felix and Alec.

Its cool that Jane's power doesn't work on the wolves.

Nice teamwork going on there. I like that Rosalie's sucking the vemon out of Jake's body.

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 02:51 PM · On: Battered

I LOVE how we get Emily's POV in this chapter.

I LOVE how the only human food Nessie will eat are Emily's blueberry muffins. Nessie has very good taste.
I'm glad Jasper's healed enough to move around and he's helping Emily. Emily was right about them being similar in regards to scars and not being able to live without their mates.

""I felt the pain, anger, and fear flare in the vampire next to me. I instinctively put my hand on his arm and tried to calm him. "She fixed you, Jasper. You know that she did. Maybe she just needs you to fix her."" I LOVE this!!!!!!!!! Emily is awesome! Alice probably does need Jasper to fix her.

Hurray for Carlisle's POV!

""Peter, Charlotte, and even Paul and Jared had offered to take a turn and carry Alice part of the way home. But I couldn't let them. I couldn't let go of her. She was my daughter, and I couldn't let her go. I knew they wouldn't hurt her. Not like Maria had hurt her. But I had to take her home. Me. No one else."" I LOVE THIS!!!!! Carlisle's a wonderful father.

""Instead, he held out his arms for her.

I carried her through open kitchen and set her on his lap. She quickly snaked her arms around his neck and buried her face in his throat. He gently wrapped his arms her small body and began to murmur quietly to her."' Alice and Jasper are reunited.

""I think perhaps it is time to recognize that we are no longer just allies," Billy said, as Sam nodded in agreement. "We are a family. One big, strange, supernatural family. And families do whatever they have to do to remain a family."" I really rather like this, and it is true that they are one big strange family since Jacob imnprinted on Nessie.

I love that Emily and Jasper have formed  friendship and also how Nessie greeted Carlisle.
Nessie shouldn't have to hide her worrying, she should be allowed to be a child.

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2013 02:38 PM · On: Outside Looking In

I wasn't sure about this story when I read the summary, but now that'm actually reading this, its fascinating.

I'm glad that Nessie, Jasper and Charlie are on the reservation, and that Charlie now nows everything. Its cool that puttting Jasper's vemon on his chest helped it heal more than just drinking blood did.  Nessie is doing a goodjob in helping her uncle.

I like that the Denali's as well as Peter and Charlotte are helping the wovles. I'm so glad that Edward and Carlisle are alive, but I'm worrid about Alice.

Its cool that Charlotte finished off her creator.

Reviewer: achilles (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2012 05:33 PM · On: Epilogue

That was great - really nicely written and good sentiments between the 2 groups.

Thank you

Achilles

Reviewer: Costa (Signed) · Date: May 09, 2011 05:54 PM · On: Epilogue

  Hi, Skep!

  This is truly a fine story.  It was a pleasure to read it a second time.        ^_^



Author's Response: You read it a second time! That makes me SOOOOO happy! Thank you!

Reviewer: MaryMaryMary (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2011 07:24 PM · On: Epilogue

Great story, short but not any filler junk.

 

Thank you,

Reviewer: KateDumbledore (Signed) · Date: April 03, 2011 02:34 AM · On: Epilogue

Such an amazing story. I so love it and the whole idea. THANK YOU.

Reviewer: lesleyann08 (Signed) · Date: March 22, 2011 08:40 PM · On: Epilogue

Well this is the first fic I've read on twilighted since I'm a newbie. I am on FF however (under the username glasgowgirl), and I am disappointed I never came accross your fic there or I would have read it much sooner.


Anyways, you have penned a great continuation of the twilight saga, that stays true to canon characters. The plotline is fluid and imaginative, and contains the perfect blend of friendship, love, angst and drama. The story is grammatically flawless, and you have made good use of paragraphs, word choice and punctuation.


I like the teen style narrative you used, it was very fitting to the scenes included, and I also liked the switching view point.


If your story is a guidline of what I'm likely to find hear at twilighted, then I'm definetly glad I joined. I look forward to reading more of your work, your a very gifted author and have penned an intriguing fic.


Well done =)...x



Author's Response:

My fic was the first you read on Twilighted? I'm so happy you liked it too! And you said I'm gifted...you made my day!

I promise that you'll like Twilighted. I prefer it to FF because they are much more selective about the quality of stories and the writing as a whole is a much better caliber. I honestly don't know that there's a story at Twilighted that I've read and truly not liked. But I'm just discovering AH stories, so I certainly haven't read everything. Feel free to check out my favorites on my profile page. I'm guessing that I probably like things similar to what I write best so you might like some of them, too.

As to this story, some people didn't like the switching viewpoints at all, so I'm thrilled to find someone else who liked them!

Thanks so much for all of your amazingly kind words!

Reviewer: JLBMOctober (Signed) · Date: January 18, 2011 06:02 PM · On: Epilogue

I read through your story today, and I really enjoyed it! :) Family stories like this have always been my favorite. I was so surprised with Athendora's help and the twist with Demetri's secret. :)

Great job!

Reviewer: Queendel (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2011 11:30 PM · On: Epilogue

This was so sweet. 

Drama, intrigue and jealousies add spice to a fic, but love, understanding and togetherness as two types of supernatural beings accept, defend and protect each other, adds depth.  Thanks for sharing.

Reviewer: Filippanna (Signed) · Date: January 05, 2011 09:36 AM · On: Epilogue

Fantastic ! Really and truly fantastic. Why haven´t I found this story before ? I am at work, should work but I´ve been reading instead. Oups.

Thanks !

Reviewer: toecoe01 (Signed) · Date: December 01, 2010 06:01 PM · On: Epilogue

this was really imaginative!

i like it ALOT! <3

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