I've written all types of fan fiction but Twilight honestly motivates me the most. I'm more into plot styles that are closer to Canon, although there are a few exceptions.

Unfortunately, I haven't been a Twilight fan as long as most people. I managed to stumble upon it right after the books were all published but before the first film was released. I coun't myself lucky for that. But they way it came into my life is something I feel like should be shared.

Back in 2008, I had a very bad breakup with my boyfriend, I was heartbroken, depressed, I wasn't exactly in the best mind frame. My family and friends began to worry about me, I hardly slept, I barely ate, I shrank down from 122 to almost 95 pounds in a month. I was devastated to say the least; it was quite possibly the darkest time in my life.

I'd heard about Twilight over the years, mentioned by several people but I never really paid it any mind. I'd read Good Charlotte fan fiction at gcfanfics.com, and on their boards would be a thread, dedicated exclusively to Twilight, and the moderators and admins were always saying "Read my Twilight fan fiction." Same on the JC Chasez boards. Same on every fan fiction board.

And I'm sitting there thinking, "What in the HELL are they all talking about?!"

I continued to ignore it all, but there it was, I couldn't escape it. There was mention of it everywhere, I slightly remember hearing the word 'Twilight' mentioned on the MTV VMA's but once again, I just shrugged it off. Then the chaos began, thousands of people were up in arms because Russell Brand cut off some of the cast members.

By the time August rolled around in 2008, I was inches away from just banging my head on my monitor, and pleading for God to turn this crazy world right-side-up again.

Two weeks later, I got my wish.

In one day, I happened to accidentally catch a glimpse of the trailer and I thought "Interesting...so this is what all the fuss is about." I'm a sucker for hopeless romances. That very same night, my best friend Megs and I decided to go hit the bars. I'd been reclusive for nearly 8 months, shutting myself off from everything. I was sitting on her big comfy bed, minding my own business, while she checked her e-mail, and her bookshelf caught my attention. Not just one, but all four, Twilight books were sitting there side by side. (Breaking Dawn had just been released a few days prior. I was VERY lucky.) My curiosity was piqued. I asked her about them and she suggested I begin reading the first one while she got ready to go. So I fatefully opened to the first page. An hour later, she emerges, ready to go, and I suddenly realize that I'm on page 143. (I read abnormally fast.) I couldn't put it down. I took it to the bar with us! (With her permission of course.) How pathetic is that? I stowed it away in my purse. (Keep in mind, my purse is the size of Mary Poppins's luggage.) While she spent the night, drinking and having an absolute blast I'm sure, I sat at the bar and read the damn book. I read a book, at a bar.You get the picture. She let me borrow all four books, and I read all four books in about 4 days. I even reread them all several times. Maybe it was because I read them all in consecutive order, back to back, that I enjoyed the entire series as if it were just one big book. I count myself blessed to have found the series just after Breaking Dawn was released.

I don't have the energy to rehash my heartbreak, but I can tell you that New Moon saved me. It was as if the tragedy of my breakup with my boyfriend was there on the pages, and I was Bella. I knew how she felt because I was there, in her shoes, feeling her pain. I don't know what kind of state I would be in now if I hadn't read those books when I did.

However… Breaking Dawn did leave me feeling a little…unsatisfied. There was something missing from it. Since reading it, I have discovered that Stephanie Meyer's was only contracted for four books, and pressure had been put on her by the publishing house , to find a way to finally end the series. I think this was a HUGE mistake. They could have made millions of dollars if they'd let it play out the way it was meant to, but instead they forced her to cram everything into one last book. (Plus, we could have had way more Edward/Bella time) It didn't have the same tone as Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. (Don't get me wrong, it's possibly my second favorite book of the series behind New Moon.)

But there were serious holes to it: Alice's premonition: Like most people I was thinking "HELL YEAH!" Finally a good old fashioned throw down! But NO! Nothing. We got all worked up for nothing. We didn't even get to SEE Bella try to kick Jacob's ass, it just…skipped right over it. Then the rest of the book…200 pages of nothing. She trained herself on her ability and prepared Jacob and Renesmee to leave and then they didn't even need to do ANY of it. The powers were cool, how she protected everyone, but C'MON! Nothing?

"Hi we're the Volturi, we come to fight." "Hi we're the good guys, we come to fight too." "Hi we're the Volturi why don't we just talk a lot?" "Hi we're the good guys, wanna watch us do nothing?" WHAT! We could have just had 200 pages of Edward and Bella minus the random kid, being all sappy and stuff but no…nothing until the last two pages of the book.

I wanted someone dead. Someone important. That's why I am guilty of writing nearly 200 pages of this story in a week after reading all the Twilight books. (Ask Megs, I made her reread the whole thing every time I added a new line. She watched me succumb to OED. Obsessive Edward Disorder. She watched me do all of this in one single week.)

It was my own fatally flawed dissatisfaction with the closing fragments of their world, that spawned the words, of which I have carefully pieced together, in my own refusal to accept the fact that Edward and Bella's story was complete. I wasn't satisfied with the ending of their story because…well…after all…Bella's a vampire, and Edwards a vampire… and vampires are immortal…and immortals live forever…so if they live forever…then the story never ends right?

Twilight saved my life. Hopefully you'll understand.

My story is also published on FanFiction.com