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Penname: NightsofTamara [Contact]
Real name:
Status: Member
Member Since: November 02, 2008

I'm a nurse by day, but my evenings are given over to fangirly goodness (and World of Warcraft, but that's a different issue entirely). Edward and Bella are my OTP, but I love all of the other Cullens and Charlie as well. I'm constantly on the lookout for good fanfics to read, and I also write some of my own.

What I'm working on now:

Sundown - multi-chapter, NC-17 - Bella has made her decision, but every choice has consequences. Post-Eclipse AU. Progress: Chapter 25/?

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Favorite Stories
Eternal Night by Lola84 Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 237]

Bella wakes up in a living nightmare, with superhuman powers she doesn't understand and one hell of a burn in her throat.  As the events leading up to her death begin to come back to her, she realizes who is to blame for damning her to an existence of eternal night.  Unharnessed powers swirling in her consciousness, she realizes she must learn to control and direct her fury in order to exact vengeance on her killer.  And vengeance would be sweet...



Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 11 Completed: No Word count: 26738
[Report This] Published: April 19, 2009 Updated: January 21, 2011

Dying By Degrees by Reamhar Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 665]

Banner for Dying By Degrees


What if Bella’s thoughts on the plane flying back to Seattle from Italy take her in a different direction from the plot in New Moon? Just where could a little twist of fate take the characters? An indepth look at Bella's thoughts and feeling at the end of New Moon and into an AU Eclipse.

Canon couples, and rated NC17 just to be safe. I am Bella and Edward all the way, so if you like Bella and Jacob, then I am afraid this is not the story for you.

Dying By Degrees on discussion forum.


Categories: New Moon Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Completed: No Word count: 106997
[Report This] Published: January 03, 2009 Updated: June 19, 2010

De Anima by Audeamus-Amor Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 319]


A story of love and duty, family and deception. A mercenary? A girl? A murder? A romance? A member of the Volturi guard is sent to Forks on a reconnaissance mission. When an unexpected rescue operation detracts him from his goal it sets in motion a chain of events that will change him in ways he never expected.


De Anima Ban

"I was tired of chasing her, I had been chasing her for far too long. Mere moments, a lifetime? I only knew that with her at my side, I was sure of who I was, that years upon years of emptiness were not quite in vain, that with her the anguish that grated at my soul came to halt. I could rebuild myself with her. And no, not piece by piece, but entirely. All at once. To have her would be to have every part of humanity that this life had to offer. To have her would be to have everything."

Thank you to the lovely NotoriousR for not only making my banner, but schooling me in the finer points of Photobucket. 

The photo credit goes to smirks_works. The manip is bananas, right?

Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 16 Completed: No Word count: 61779
[Report This] Published: December 31, 2008 Updated: March 31, 2009


I read the Twilight series in the wrong order - I was late to this party and I started with Midnight Sun.  This entry in the series let me "hear" Edward as well as Bella throughout the other four books.  Eclipse was especially painful to read when I could "hear" Edward.  He was becoming so desperate to hold onto Bella that he became possessive and controlling - qualities I was sure he would hate in himself.  His journey to learn to treat Bella as his equal became as interesting to me as Bella's choice to give up her mortality.  Since Stephenie Meyer isn't going to finish MS anytime soon (and may never continue Edward's point of view in the other books) I decided to take a closer look at some key scenes in Eclipse and try to figure out for myself what Edward is thinking.   

This first chapter is from the very end of New Moon, Edward's point of view, confrontation scene with Jacob pages 550-563.

The second chapter is a bit shorter, from Eclipse pages 27 & 28, Edward's point of view, when he offhandedly suggests hunting wolves if they move to Alaska...

Third chapter, Eclipse pages 28 & 29, Wuthering Heights

 Snippet:"That thought brought me up short.  That thought twisted my mess of thoughts and fears and pain into a knot so tight I could barely see the strands.  I would not allow Bella to put herself in danger??  What kind of possessive monster was this thought from?  Was my selfish need for Bella so strong, that my love for her could be twisted, tainted by this new possessive beast?"  


Categories: New Moon, Eclipse Characters: Bella
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: No Word count: 9223
[Report This] Published: January 03, 2009 Updated: March 25, 2009

Summary: I felt my face seize up, panic twisting then freezing my mouth, my eyes, my forehead. Unable to help it, I turned towards the hallway, to where Bella had gone, to where I knew she was. The thought of letting her go scalded my insides and brought my basest instincts crashing to the fore again. The urge to go to her, to where she lay in the bath, lay so quiet, so dull, so gone. It took everything I had not to make that first step and a low growl trembled from my throat with the effort.



Edward comes back for Bella after leaving her in New Moon, but winning her back is not so easy.  Or is it...?

Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Bella, Edward, Jacob
Series: None
Chapters: 6 Completed: No Word count: 16623
[Report This] Published: August 15, 2008 Updated: December 06, 2008


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