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Penname: GutterFace [Contact]
Real name: Jaime
Status: Member
Member Since: February 19, 2009

Writing was always my first love. I hope I am at least a little good at it.

I love to read almost as much as I write. I really enjoy a very original plot that makes me think (preferably with some lemons thrown in there) that is well written and stays away from all the over used subjects. If you know of any stories like that, send them my way!

You can also find my stories (and more) posted on my name there is StarlightNights

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Favorite Stories
The Loving Kind by thimbles Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 120]






There were nine words on the square of paper.

Nine simple words that I have waited over a year to hear: "I was wrong. I miss you. I love you."


My biggest mistake was falling in love with Bella. My second was telling her.


Please be advised: this story contains language, sex and will deal with themes of severe depression and suicide.


My stunning banner was made by the amazing Frozen Soldier!

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 18 Completed: No Word count: 76253
[Report This] Published: March 27, 2012 Updated: September 04, 2012

Summary: Feature


*Takes place during New Moon in an alternate universe.

On March 16, 2006,  the World changed, and everything and anything that the Cullens ever cared about was lost. They had to find their own way in this New World. Edward never wished to exist in a world where Bella didn't.  Unfortunately, his family desperately needed him, so he'd stay to help them.   And by doing so, he hoped to redeem himself for his failure to save the one creature he couldn't protect. 

With rumours in the South of humans feeding off the living and stealing people from their beds, the Cullens have a responsibility to protect the ones they can from those monsters in the night.  This was Edward's last chance to fight for his soul and his salvation.  He would finally be ready to face Judgement day and be deemed worthy enough to be with Bella once again.  Or would something or someone change the path he was destined to go down?  Faith, hope and love are powerful things, and Edward is about to find out just how powerful they are.


Yes... this is the story that is set during a post-apocalyptic nuclear war. Just try the Prologue to get a feel for it before passing judgment. You might be surprised. Warning: There is violence and disturbing images the further the story goes along.

Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 39 Completed: Yes Word count: 315697
[Report This] Published: March 24, 2009 Updated: March 25, 2012


Create your own banner at!

Hypothesis: Vampires are capable of vertical inheritance.




  1. Get Jasper knocked up at least three times in one story. Why? Because it is not nearly as funny to knock up any of the other vampires. And since female vampires are just as hard to knock up as males, might as well go all the way and choose Jasper.

  2. Knock up all the other Cullens while I am at it. Why? Because I can’t think of a good reason why Jasper would be any more knocked up than the rest of them. Maybe Emmett would be… but Emmett is not as funny.

  3. Accuse Edward of having a sexual relationship with his piano and bring up this accusation as many times as possible without Bella finding out.

  4. End in a war between the Cullens and the Volturi, because the Volturi think Carlisle is lying about vampires laying eggs. Why? Because it is the funniest reason for a war I can think of.

  5. Explain vampire genetics, using plasmids, in a way that is one hundred percent compatible with everything ever said by Stephenie Meyer about vampires.

  6. Explain how vampires can reproduce vertically without violating the “vampires cannot change” law of vampiredom.

  7. Make entire story one hundred percent biologically accurate, despite the vampires. Why? Because I’m a biologist.

  8. Tell a bunch of Cullenesque stories and make it funny, because that which is funniest is best.

Recently nominated for a hidden star award.

The award nominations keep coming: now nominated for multiple  iSparkle Awards including the You'll Quote Me Later Award for the thing with Edward and his inappropriate relationship with his piano. Please go vote now!

Also nominated for an Eclipse award for best vampire!




Categories: Post-Breaking Dawn, Crackfic Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 48 Completed: Yes Word count: 188366
[Report This] Published: July 30, 2010 Updated: February 18, 2012

Summary: Feature


While hunting one afternoon, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle stumble upon what appears to be a corpse.  When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help.  But of course, fate has plans for this man.  Canon Couples.  AU.  DARK Themes.

Categories: AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 32 Completed: Yes Word count: 158872
[Report This] Published: February 26, 2009 Updated: November 01, 2011

A Thousand Leaves by flabella Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 613]

Isabella Swan met the Cullens when she was a child, growing up as Alice's best friend. Not every Cullen liked Bella, though. Alice's older brother Edward took it upon himself to make Bella's trip toward adulthood a nightmare. Everything changes when Edward is sent to prison for the murder of Bella's mother, Renee.

Special thanks to crazyj9girl for the top banner!

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Renee, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 41 Completed: Yes Word count: 182060
[Report This] Published: August 28, 2010 Updated: June 21, 2011

Getting Warmer by Eiluned Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 244]

After their honeymoon on Isle Esme, Bella gets to spend more time being human with Edward as they travel cross-country to New Hampshire and beyond, and learn about art, love and temperature differentials. Newlyweds being newlyweds, so lemons.

 [GW.png]  art by manyafandom for the Perv Pack Smut Shack



Categories: Breaking Dawn, AU Characters: Bella
Series: None
Chapters: 17 Completed: Yes Word count: 159917
[Report This] Published: October 28, 2009 Updated: May 22, 2011


How long did Alice wait in that diner before Jasper showed up? What happened while she was waiting? This is the story of the months that Alice waited for Jasper told from the perspective of Mariah, waitress in the diner.


And Alice Has Made All The Difference

Banner by the amazing @rosalynn7885

Categories: Pre-Twilight, Eclipse Characters: Alice, Jasper
Series: Eternal Hope: The Alice and Jasper Archive
Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Word count: 8167
[Report This] Published: September 09, 2010 Updated: November 06, 2010

With Teeth by TalulaBlue Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 5906]
Summary: Feature

Edward is a 27-year-old alcoholic/addict struggling with his recovery. Bella is a 23-year-old who's moved back home after college. This fic chronicles how they meet, fall in love, and struggle with the complexities of their relationship. Not nearly as maudlin as it sounds (I hope).

Rated NC-17 for graphic (and sometimes non-romantic) sex, drug and alcohol use and abuse, profane language, and brief (very brief) suicidal ideation (although NO suicide attempts). No sexual assault, no cutting.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 27 Completed: Yes Word count: 183053
[Report This] Published: August 07, 2009 Updated: August 22, 2010

Summary: Feature

 Thank you, hellacullen, for the awesome banner!

Edward’s rebellious period didn’t last a few years; it lasted seventy.  A solitary hunter on the fringe of society, he stumbles across a young woman praying. Can he seduce her away from everything she's ever known? And will he be willing to fight for Bella instead of fighting against her?

AU, a bit OOC, canon couples.  Rated for lemons, violence and adult subject matter.

Banner by Zesty_T, awesome!

Banner by n7of9 Thank you!

Banner by readergoof, thank you!


Categories: AU Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 34 Completed: Yes Word count: 129165
[Report This] Published: August 18, 2009 Updated: March 27, 2010

The List by Laura Cullen Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 13662]

Four weeks before her wedding to Edward, Bella is frustrated. She knows there's little-to-no chance of getting him to bend his rules and boundaries now, but there's no harm in fantasizing about what could happen later. So she begins compiling a list of things that she and Edward can do together once they're happily married. She's surprised to find she might be able to cross some things off earlier than she thought...

Story contains mature themes and is not intended for younger readers.

Thanks to Mandi, aka m81170, for the great banner!

Categories: Post-Eclipse Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 28 Completed: Yes Word count: 187877
[Report This] Published: December 28, 2008 Updated: March 19, 2010


AH AU When Edward finally gets the chance at getting the girl, he has no idea what to do, so he turns to a message board call The Red Strings of Fate.

This is a story told in e-mails, texts, and message board posts.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett, Esme
Series: None
Chapters: 15 Completed: No Word count: 32372
[Report This] Published: June 20, 2009 Updated: December 12, 2009


PhotobucketThe idea for this fanfiction story came from my one main critique of Meyer's novels: that Bella and Edward's relationship lacks conflict.  Sounds crazy, right?  But think about it.  They experience small quibbles and spats, all of which are resolved on the very next page!  Yes, their love is enduring.  But even the most magical relationships need a little real conflict and angst to make them magical yet believable!  So I picked this up from New Moon.  In the book, Bella forgives Edward way too easily when they reunite, in my opinion.  So I wanted to give her character a new and interesting chance to stand her ground on her own turf.  Edward NEVER returned to Forks in this story; instead, it picks up three years later.  Bella is in college, participating in an environmental work-study program in Maine.  And...well, you'll see!

Categories: New Moon, AU Characters: Alice, Bella, Carlisle, Charlie, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Jacob, Jasper, Renee, Rosalie
Series: None
Chapters: 8 Completed: No Word count: 30848
[Report This] Published: January 09, 2009 Updated: April 13, 2009

Psycho by kfm Rated: NC-17 starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 202]

newest psycho banner

Being a teenage pariah is never easy, but for Edward Cullen it's especially difficult. Then again, anyone would find being a mind-reader at the age of seventeen a little more than challenging.

Once a simple high school burn-out, Edward had given up on love after a painful break up. He attempts to drown his pain in extensive drug use which eventually triggers his ability to hear the thoughts of others. Once Carlisle is made aware of Edward's hidden talent, he sends his son to a psyche ward where he is diagnosed with type 2 Bipolar disorder. During his stay, he befriends Alice Brandon and finds himself oddly drawn to her best friend Bella (who has a damaging secret of her own).

AU-Human/OOC/Canon Couples

Rated NC-17 for underage drinking, drug use, explicit language and sexual content.

Categories: AU, AU-Human Characters: Alice, Bella, Edward, Jasper
Series: None
Chapters: 9 Completed: No Word count: 56548
[Report This] Published: February 06, 2009 Updated: April 10, 2009


Bella is a mid-90s club kid caught up in a life she'd never intended to have. Edward isn't sure whether he wants to save her or join her. Rated for drug use, sexual themes, profanity, and other adult themes. All angst all the time. AH/AU

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 13 Completed: No Word count: 31328
[Report This] Published: February 28, 2009 Updated: March 26, 2009


Edward and Bella decide to take their relationship to the next level.  Things don't necessarily go as planned.

Categories: AU-Human Characters: Bella, Edward
Series: None
Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes Word count: 6574
[Report This] Published: March 04, 2009 Updated: March 06, 2009


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