Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 45

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 46

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 47

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 48

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 49

Deprecated: Function eregi() is deprecated in /home/twilight/public_html/header.php on line 201
A Beyond Random Day in the Twilight Universe. by xLaTuaCantantex






Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
[Reviews - 27]
Table of Contents
- Text Size +
Story Notes:
Twilighted Beta: shabbyapple
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is totally my story, Stephenie Meyer's characters. There you go :)

Narrator: Isabella Swan, the new girl in school who thinks she is so pretty and perfect, walks straight up to Edward Cullen, who is dahhottestguyeva, thinking she is so confident and great. 

Jessica Stanley: OHMYGOD! Like, the new girlie is like walking up to thee Edward Cullen! Like, that is like! Sooo amazingly cool! I am soo her friend!

 

Eric Yorkie *reading Pokemon Game Card Manual*: Right! I need the Squirtle to beat the Charmander! I thought it was the Bulbasaur you needed to beat the Charmander but I guess not… This manual is like so awesome!

 

Mike Newton: I am looking pretty sexy today, I must say. Damn… I really need to keep my thoughts inside my mind…

 

Edward Cullen: I will kill you.

 

Alice Cullen: THIS ISN’T THE MALL EDWARD!

 

Jasper Hale: And breathe in. Breathe out. And repeat.

 

Rosalie Hale: Must destroy all things pretty so I am the prettiest!

 

Emmett Cullen: Live long and prosper.

 

Isabella Swan: EDWARD I LOVE YOU!

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Bella: No, seriously! *Brings out copy of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer*.You are like Edward Cullen right? And I’m like Bella Swan, this book is about our lives from my point of view! We like kiss and fall and love and stuff cause you a vampire and I’m a necrophiliac.

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Bella: Come on, hot stuff, get back in that Volvo of yours.

 Narrator: Bella pushes Edward, because in this story she isn't weak and Edward has no self control whatsoever, so really all he can do is repeat stuff he says. 

Alice: Who the hell is she?

 

Bella: *throws the twilight series at her* Look for yourself.

 Narrator: Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Jasper speed read twilight, new moon, eclipse and breaking dawn. They feel like they already know Bella now.  

Bella: *driving* Lets go to your place. I want my Nessie.

 Edward: I will kill you.

Bella: Whatever, just be thankful your hot and vampire-ish.

 

Alice: That’s a good point.

 

Emmett: Did you know that the Bible is available in 2,233 languages?

 

Rosalie: And you’ve read every one of them.

 

Emmett: Our father, who art in heaven…

 

Jasper: His 300th prayer this morning.

 

Bella: Edward, I love you.

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Bella: You’re supposed to say, ‘You are my life now.’

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Jasper: He has been saying that ever since Carlisle bit him. The flu totally got to his head.

 

Edward: *cough cough*

 

Jasper: You see?

 

Emmett: And on the seventh day, God rested, marvelling at his creation.

 

Bella: Does he know every 2233 Bibles off by heart?

 

Rosalie: Yup. I’m really pretty today, aren’t I?

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Rosalie: I’m going to take that as a compliment.

 Narrator: James the vampire randomly appears in the middle of the road and Bella crashes straight into him. An air bag blows up on her and Edward’s face. Edward’s air bag pops when it reaches his abnormally sharp nose, creating an ear splitting bang. 

Bella: AHHHHHH!

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

James: I need a heart!

 

Alice: *pointing at Edward*: He needs a brain!

 

Jasper: I need some courage!

 

Bella: I need a home!

 

Emmett: I am God’s prophet!

 

Rosalie: I’m pretty!

 

Alice: I need to go shopping!

 

Bella: Emmett’s The Wizard of Oz!

 

Rosalie: Click your heels together three times and say, ‘there’s no place like home,’ as 3 times as well!

 

James: I LIKE LOVE YOU EDWARD!

 

Edward: I will kill you.

 

Bella *clicking heels together*: THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME! THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!

 Narrator: And Bella wakes up in her room with her dog Toto at her feet. The end.   
You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.