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Reviewer: jkane180 (Signed) · Date: February 17, 2010 12:46 AM · On: S***ting on Edward

Haha!  That A/N at the beginning might be the funniest yet!

I suck.  I always miss things.  :(

What if I took a crap on you, Edward. - ?

What do you need, Love. - ?

I love this line:  Yeah, that surprised him.

Author's Response:

Hey, don't worry about it, Jess. My Twilighted betas missed it too! Stop reading my shit and update 101!

Reviewer: badbella (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2010 11:45 PM · On: Animal Attack

What is it with these uptight reviewers. Your story is hilarious! But, hey, I'm team 'give me both,' so what do I know. You have a great sense of humor. Keep 'em coming.

Author's Response:

Thanks badbella! Some people are bitches. Shit, if I don't like something, I stop reading it. Why keep reading the fucking thing to leave a review about it sucking? Edward and Jacob are fine, but I'm Team Flanagan! That bitch knows how to have a party!

Reviewer: Irrevocably_Yours (Signed) · Date: February 16, 2010 02:19 AM · On: Animal Attack

seriosly u need no have to check out u are morbid and frekishly awsome!! you will ove these gals like i love u hahah

Reviewer: jkane180 (Signed) · Date: February 13, 2010 01:08 AM · On: Animal Attack

Sometimes I feel kinda like a jackass for pointing out your typos.  :(  Lemme know if it gets too annoying.  I do it out of love, remember that.  :)

He drew air through is teeth in an angry hiss at the sight of the dried blood on my naked thighs. - his teeth

I watched in frozen terror at his hind legs desperately attempted to seek purchase in the earth. - as his hind legs?

I almost didn't re-read this but am glad I did!  Not just cause it's still good but there were a few differences.  :)

I wish I could come up with funnier Author's Notes.  Can Flan right mine too?  And I think you can keep the squirrel porn, but thanks.

(PS - there's a typo in the end A/N!  Sorry!)

Author's Response:

Nope. I need you to point out my typos! The Twilighted beta missed these. I should have sent the chapter to you before I posted anyway.

Still don't know what squirrel porn is but Fantasy Mother's author's notes always make me laugh so I thought I'd pay homage to her. Can't wait for the next chapter of The Deluded.

Reviewer: robert cullen (Signed) · Date: February 13, 2010 12:42 AM · On: Animal Attack

Bella Flanagan is a bitch, and she kinda needs to hit the road....gosh, poor bella

Reviewer: readergoof (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 10:13 PM · On: Animal Attack

well that was so fucking short I'm not sure I read anything

Author's Response:

Ouch. Have I been flamed? Yeah, it's okay. I understand that this story is not for everyone.

Just out of curiosity, why bother leaving a review if you didn't like it? Just a random act of unkindness?

Reviewer: badbella (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 09:49 PM · On: Animal Attack

I love Bella whats-her-name! And I love this AU. Please update soon.

Author's Response:

Thanks for all of your reviews, badbella. Takes the sting out of the nasty flame I received just after this one :)

Oh, and the name is Flanagan. It just is.

Reviewer: Pinkcookie (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 08:52 PM · On: Animal Attack

well, well Bullwinkle -- call me Natasha!  I love your end notes as much as the story -- well, maybe even more.. (send me squirrel porn indeed!)  Oh, and I do hope you got the double entre I sent in my last review...  Of course you did...  PC

Author's Response:

Hello Pinkcookie. Tell me, is your name a pussy word? I like it!

There's an author called Fantasy Mother and she writes a squirrel porn offer in all of her author's notes. Apparently, it's a reference to her beta's story Cullenary Coupling. I don't know though. I just kind of picture squirrels balling squirrely style. I'm totally not going to google it though. I mean, I'm derranged but that's just...wrong.

Thanks for the reviews!

This story is much further along on if you're interested in following me over there. I'm pretty friendly for a psycho bitch. I've written a few other gems including a crack slash with a drunk pig. Quality stuff!

Reviewer: Pinkcookie (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 08:41 PM · On: An American Werewolf in Bella

Ummmm.  Psychotic cherry pop .... how about Binge Eating Banana?   teehee

Reviewer: badbella (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 08:26 PM · On: Chocolate Mint

The best line to end a chapter goes to...

Edward talking dirty is a really good combo.

Author's Response:

That chapter was about as much fun as one can have with a computer and the urban dictionary. Thanks for reviewing! I'm sending a mental mint Aero along with the BBS AU Edward into your computer. Have at him!

Reviewer: badbella (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 07:58 PM · On: Pink Elephant

This was so fucking hilarious. Off to the next chapter!

Reviewer: Pinkcookie (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 06:53 PM · On: Jacob's Dark Secret

I gotta get me some more serotonin! 

Author's Response:

Lots of SSRIs on the market like Zoloft or Effexor will do the trick.

Reviewer: ItsATwilightThing (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2010 05:06 PM · On: Animal Attack


Author's Response:

Chapter 24 will be posted on this weekend. It's an Edward/Bella lemon.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2010 12:54 AM · On: An American Werewolf in Bella

What's that expression? "Good for what ails you?" *ahem*

Jacob's take on B's sitch is, as always, so insightful, so non-judgemental...we all need a Jake! <><3

Author's Response:

I'm responding to your reviews backwards. Wow, I'm honoured to be reviewed by you, Ms. diamondheart!!! Absolutely, nothing cures a crazy mind like good old sex with a werewolf awooooo! In my original story outline, she wasn't actually supposed to have sex with Jake yet, but I changes some things around because I was desperate to write it. Plus, I had the awesome chapter title I was gagging to use.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2010 12:38 AM · On: Night of the Living Dead

This is all making too much sense, you're scaring me! <><3

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2010 12:30 AM · On: A Clean Breakthrough

Ms. Flan, all my kidding aside - this is SO fucking creative! I love the scenario and the jumping back and forth of the personas, it really makes the reader wonder which one is real or is it all illusion? The iphone bit was really creepy...

The Cylon guard just came in and told me to read another chapter! <><3

Author's Response:

Thank you! You're actually the first person who accepted the story as a hallucination right away. All other readers (who reviewd me) immediately went the other way, that Flanagan is a construct of Swan. I'm not giving away the ghost, neither, both, either are right and wrong at this point.

Actually, she's not human at all. She is, in fact, a cylon. Oops, I'm writing a crossover.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 03:36 AM · On: Spanking the Monkey

Okay, so there's one REALLY good argument for a vamp boyfriend...and it ain't a good vocabulary! <><3

Author's Response:

It's astonishing how many euphemisms I dug up for that chapter. Yeah, I just imagined that if vampires are hard and sparkly, they should be hard and sparkly everywhere.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 03:29 AM · On: Chocolate Mint

So, is Eddy dear finally gonna jump off the Streetcar named Self Denial? No blood, no touchee, no nookie, no fun - what a Hero! <>,3

Author's Response:

Ha, aren't you clever. Bella Flanagan messes with Edward really nicely. Actually, I got this idea while reading Eclipse. Bella's hard-up and asks Edward to make love to her and he denies her, not letting her touch him. There's no reason she couldn't have started touching herself, is there? I bet even Meyer's Edward wouldn't have made her stop.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 03:21 AM · On: Jacob's Dark Secret

Why do people think that hallucinations are a bad thing? There's directed dreaming, I think there're considerable possibilities for directed hallucinations here, starring... someone who's underage *gulp*

practice, practice practice <><3

Author's Response:

I had fun imaging an older Jacob for this scene. An older, sexy, godlike and well endowed Jacob Black. I hope you appreciate how much I have to suffer for my art :P

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 03:12 AM · On: Here's to you, Mrs. Flanagan

Some how, I can just see Mrs. Flanagan sucking up all the juice from the ECT machine; lights flicker all over the hospital - no wonder she's so wired!<><3

Author's Response:

OMIGOD, there is an inside joke in this statement that I would love to tell you!!! I just spewed pepsi through my nose laughing. I'll PM you.

Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 03:05 AM · On: Pink Elephant

Oh nononoNOOO! It's crawling in under the door!! Get back, you! Aarrrgh!

Hmmm, Bella may be the sister I never met...<><3


Reviewer: diamondheart (Signed) · Date: February 08, 2010 02:59 AM · On: Wake Up and Smell the Crazy

Hoohoohoo! Love all the convolutions: just how crazy is she and which story is the crazy part? VERY nice (have to be careful not to snicker too loud, everyone else is asleep...shhhh!) <><3

Reviewer: blackjacklily (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2010 06:58 PM · On: Spanking the Monkey

I tried to find this hot. I really did. But Edward blurting out 'Cum Dumpster' was my undoing. For the rest of the chapter all I could do was laugh so hard I cried and nearly pissed myself.


Thank you. That was just about the most hysterical thing I have read.

Author's Response:

Thank you for laughing. When I sat down to write fanfiction, my goal was somehow to make Edward Cullen say 'cum dumpster'.

Reviewer: sconnolly318 (Signed) · Date: February 02, 2010 05:38 PM · On: An American Werewolf in Bella

God I love this story....

Author's Response:

God, I love you for saying that!

Reviewer: ginger1983 (Signed) · Date: January 30, 2010 06:59 AM · On: Wake Up and Smell the Crazy

that would be swell! haha

went to FF and read what you had posted for this there. this is my new guilty pleasure....crazy horny bella.....*sigh* my hero. :)

Author's Response:

Ah, thanks so much! Crazy, horny ginger1983 is totally my hero too.

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