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Reviewer: Lou-La (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2010 11:36 PM · On: The Vampire, the Bitch and the Wardrobe

Cooter will always be the best pussy word ever, closely followed by snatch.

Awesome story, by the way, I've never reviewed it, but I couldn't resist this time.

Reviewer: leelator (Signed) · Date: July 10, 2010 09:49 PM · On: The Vampire, the Bitch and the Wardrobe

Well, Edward is certainly improving from the little piss ant that was hiding under the bed. I hate to see it, of course. BF's false(?) pregnancy was hysterical!! Loved it!

Favorite p words. I really don't have any. I think they're all pretty gross or really stupid. I mean, look at "girly parts" for example. Are you kidding me? We are supposed to be adults here not three year olds, aren't we? On the other hand, I don't mean that having your guy growl in your ear, "I want to shove my cock in your hot, wet pussy" can't be a real turn on. Is that waaaay too much information? Well, you asked for it, didn't you? One of the few funny p words is who-ha or is it hoo-ha? I dunno. You tell me, p word expert.

Author's Response:

LMAO. No, it's not TMI. Dude, I like the word "pussy" as a pussy-word. For writing erotica, there really aren't any great ones and I think I'd laugh my ass off if the mister told me he wanted to shove his cock in my 'heated core.'

Reviewer: vampiremerlot0609 (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2010 06:11 PM · On: Pull Out!

God I fucking love the shit out of this story!!! Effing hilarious. "'Stop calling me 'love' you twat'!" Haha!! I'm still laughing!

Reviewer: VictoriaCullen (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2010 03:05 AM · On: Pull Out!

I seriously doubt that even reviews are better than icy jizz, unless it's from an inferior non-Cullen vampire like Aro or Riley.

I'll be interested to see if that little plot point hatches.

Reviewer: BugRehsom (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2010 01:43 AM · On: Pull Out!

ewwww.... icy jizz... it sends shivers of something a little less than fantastic down my spine....

but great work on the chapter, btw. maybe flan aught to be a little more worried about a seat on the maury povich show should she end up with a bun in the oven. you know, the 'who's the daddy' episodes, what with the multiple jake action going on beforehand.

still loving the story, and looking forward to the next twenty chapters. twenty chapters!! damn, woman. thats ambition. :)

Reviewer: leelator (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 11:33 PM · On: Pull Out!

Ewwww! I have to admit, I'm with BF on this one! GET IT OUT!! How great to hear you're going to be able to post more often, gf. Look forward to reading more. :) Oh, thanks for the bad language warning. My puritan sensibilities would have been outraged had I not been prepared.

Reviewer: GreatEscape (Signed) · Date: July 05, 2010 03:28 AM · On: Breaking Dawn

Great chapter but really I just wanted to make your phone vibrate... you're welcome!

Reviewer: leelator (Signed) · Date: July 04, 2010 12:49 AM · On: Breaking Dawn

I don't know if Big Black is going to want to hear about that chapter, girlfriend! Wow! Great sex scene for Sparkle Boy. I'm hoping Bella Flan kicks the shit out of Bella Swan. Too bad she couldn't have made a cameo appearance in Eclipse so we didn't have to watch KS sigh and mumble for 2 hours. I thought RP looked like his boxers were four sizes too small through the entire movie and TL was adorable. But, maybe I'm prejudiced. What did you think?

Reviewer: spunkaroo (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 10:06 PM · On: Breaking Dawn

That was incredibly f*ckHAWT!!  I loved hearing about Edward's fantasies....I love the way that man's mind works.

Reviewer: deborahlicious (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 01:59 PM · On: Breaking Dawn

I'm all about the vibrating phones!!!! I wish this chapter was longer...... Eclipse was EPIC, I have a feeling I'll be spending a lot of money seeing it over and over

Reviewer: momsluvamps2 (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 12:33 PM · On: Breaking Dawn

Ohh god... Breaking dawn... did he just get her pregnant???

Reviewer: RushGirl (Anonymous) · Date: July 03, 2010 08:57 AM · On: Pink Elephant

Oh I love this story.  Crazy Bella is a crack up!

Reviewer: Delicious Dreamer (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 07:18 AM · On: Breaking Dawn

ooh. i have read from start to this chapter this afternoon and am loving the story so much. i love both bellas and cant wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: tehyabella (Signed) · Date: July 03, 2010 02:01 AM · On: Breaking Dawn

HOLY HELL! hahaha breaking dawn! fantastic sparkleporn! i lurved hot shower stall sexward.

Author's Response:

Thank you so much!!! I have an awesome validation beta now so the chapters will come fast and furious from here on out. The next twenty chapters are already written.

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 07:57 PM · On: White Rabbit

Now fuck my lilliputian pussy!

Ok I have to leave work but I had to squeeze in one more review. I was just going to put LMFAO but I figured I'd elaborate a bit so you would continue to enjoy my incessant rambling that I frequently disguise as "reviews".

But beyond the brilliance that is your comedic timing, I feel like we're getting closer to understand what's really going on and I want to fucking know. Now. Instant gratification, remember? If I get in an accident on the way home trying to read this shit on fanfucker (That was the best, btw) just know it's your fault. I mean that with <3

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 06:53 PM · On: Under-the-bed Ed

Words can't even accurately express my love for this particular chapter. Everything about it from start to finish was fucked up and purely hysterical. If I could marry any fic in the fandom, it would be yours. Js.

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 05:48 PM · On: S***ting on Edward

Author's Note: Hi.

This made me giggle teeheehee. So, she's finally reconciling herself. I'm not starting to believe that she really is Bella and she lost her mind and split personalities to save herself from being hurt. I know, this is what you've been saying all along, but for some reason, I was hesitant to belive you. I mean, yes, I love you and all, but love and trust are two very different things. I keep waiting for you to whack me in the face with a 2 x 4. Proverbially, of course. You know what I mean? Has it been two chapterS? Shit, I really need to keep better track of this...

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 05:20 PM · On: Animal Attack

Damn, that was entirely dramatic. I went from laughing my ass off to peeing myself right along with Bella... and then laughing my ass off at the end. Damn, I would hate to be in this girls head right now. Poor Edward... poor Jake.... but I fucking love B.F. She's way cooler than B.S. Just saying.

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 05:06 PM · On: Night of the Living Dead

*claps* Can I just say that Bella Flanagan is saying to Edward what the majority of the adult Twihards would like to say to him? Oh wait, this wasn't two chapters was it? Oh well. It had to be said.

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 04:48 PM · On: A Clean Breakthrough

Has it been two chapters? I don't even know, I'm flying through this shit like it's crack and I'm an addict. I'm going to review anyways. I'm thoroughly puzzled and I feel as confused as Bella is regarding this whole situation. Like, literally feel like I'm underwater and trying to make out the voices above the surface. (So deep, right? Ik. I'm awesome like that).

Author's Response:

OMG, I love your reviews! I'm so fail at replying on Twilighted because I'm usually reading them on my phone. You're way too kind. Mwah!

BellaFlan xoxo

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 04:34 PM · On: Spanking the Monkey

Lmfao. I love you. Can I say that? Is it too early? Because I really do. I fucking love you. And I fucking love this story. I should not be reading this at work, by the way, and I don't even care. How did it take me so long to find you? My world is never going to be the same...

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 04:25 PM · On: Jacob's Dark Secret

Bwaahaahahhahaahahaha. The scene with Jacob was PERFECT. PERFECT. Right down to the premature ejaculation. I died. Seriously, died. I want to crawl inside your head because there's seriously some genius shit going on in there. (That's not meant to be creepy.)

Sorry I didn't review the last chap, I'm seriously so eager to read wtf is going on that I didn't want to stop and review. So let's compromise. I'm going to enjoy the hell out of your story, and I'll review every 2 chapters until I catch up, at which point, I solemnly swear to review every chapter until the end. Good? Good. Now that we have that out of the way...


Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 04:16 PM · On: Pink Elephant

I am seriously laughing my ass off over here. I mean, Edward's there (or is he? I haven't quite decided) and he's all broody and dark and tortured and Bella's giggling, like, this is fun. I don't know why but that's hysterical. And then the whole "No worries, they're upping my Haloperidol tomorrow, so you probably won't appear again." line was just the cherry on top.

Still, though, no freaking clue what's going on.

Reviewer: Hez_Pixie (Signed) · Date: June 28, 2010 04:11 PM · On: Wake Up and Smell the Crazy

Omg I'm so happy that I was pointed to your story! I can't remember who it was that sent me now though, damnit. @venis_envy, maybe? That sounds right. I'm completely confused after this first chapter and also completely intrigued! It was like everything came completely out of nowhere, which made it hard to get a handle on where this is going, and that makes it all the more wonderful. I'm now going to lose myself in your fic instead of working, so I will see you next review :D

Reviewer: Boxer R65 (Signed) · Date: June 26, 2010 01:28 PM · On: An American Werewolf in Bella

Don't be a sexist asshole! We can be doctors, lawyers and werewolves so don't make me get all Gloria Steinem on your ass."



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