Fantastic again!

"Like I was leaving them behind like stepping stones back to my beginning, back to the person I had once been." So poetic!

"...the trees as sinister as the house was beckoning." Are you kidding me with the beautiful poetry? Okay, I've only just begun to read, so will go back to the story....

“Your brothers and sisters wanted to greet you, but Alice saw that you needed some time.” - Oh, it seems that you will/may have Alice being concidorate of others instead of the bossy, bouncy, want-to-slap girl we often find in FFics! Great! ...And back to the story...

“Brother,” he whispered, knowing I would hear him. With a fist, he pounded his chest where his heart would be and then pointed at me in a gesture of filial affection. I smiled and made the same gesture. - My mouth was fully agape reading this! I looooooved it! Do you know how hard it is to find stories with likable characters who take you by surprise? Loving this story so much that I keep stopping to tell you. Never done that before!

"I’d stolen any chance of redemption from him." - Did not see that coming - brilliant. My sister had phoned me when she was up to chap 8, and told me I HAD to read this story. I had passed it over many times, not induced by the banner, etc, but I was sorely mistaken.

The depth, the character development and likeability of your characters...beyond words. Can't wait to read more!

WOW!!! You had me on the edge of my seat!

Great scene in the diner... loved it. Very real.

I found your story since it popped up in the Featured Stories section, and it was much more interesting than the reading I was supposed to be doing, so I read the whole thing (thus far).  You made me snort ("yellow polyester- the fabric of queens" is going to come up the next time I lecture) and made me wince.  Bella's reaction to everything here seems so natural and plausible, and Edward actually showing anger and fear is nice.  Makes them both a bit more human, I suppose.  At any rate, thank you for writing.  I look forward to seeing how everything develops.

Author's Response:

Well now, you've got me. There's a featured story section on Twilight? Where? I know of the Most Recent listing, but featured story, hmm.

I am glad you are enjoying the story (and yes I've been a waitress so I know about yellow polyester!) Thanks so much for reviewing!

Awww this chapter is really sad... :( ...poor Edward

Poor Bella. I really feel for her. I think my soul would be the one thing I couldn't give up for love.  It's a good thing I believe Twilight vampires still have one. Hopefully Bella will come to realize that as well. 

I'm looking forward to the next chapter. It seems like it will be rather exciting.

Fantastic again!

i feel so sorry for her. such trauma to go through... you've put me right there with her. Great writting.

I'm still confused as to her age. I'm assuming she's out of school, but how long? And how old is Edward - as in his age when turned? i'm imaging them as in Twilight - both 17 - but it doesn't seem to fit with your story...

My favorite lines:

“Nothing,” I said, gasping between the kisses I was laying on his cheeks, his jaw, his neck, anywhere I could reach. “This changes nothing.”He paused his ravishing of my face and lips just long enough to speak. “I don’t care,” he said. “Give me tonight. Forever can take care of itself.”

Damn! Wow! And ohmygod!  Love love love this.

 

Author's Response:

Thank you!

Great cute-meet between the two of them - loved the double meanings and misunderstandings. Great job. It would be great if you gave me some indication as to how old she is though... and throwing Jessica's name in there at the end and not explaining their relationship to each other... i guess you're relying heavily on the audience knowing the characters from Twilight, yes? Still, it's always good to reiterate, because every fan-fic seems to be different.    Very interesting characters so far... love to see vulnerability and room for change.

Great first chapter. I really feel for this Edward, and more importantly... i like him.

That was great!  Always love EPOV!

Wow what a quandry Bella is faced with. I like the way you thread God and choice together in your story. I appreciate the non-preachy Christianity references. It is what makes the story work so well in my opinion. I eagerly wait for more!

Oh and I am so sad that "Eric" (Alexander Skarsgard) had to die.... he is nummy. LOL