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Reviews For Broken Promises
Reviewer: spawyer (Signed) · Date: August 24, 2009 04:56 PM · On: Chapter 6- Collision

I still don't see a good way out of this mess. even if Mike is also a "bad boy" - how would Edwards family and friends ever trust Bella - you cheat on one guy you will cheat on another and so on and so on.



Author's Response:

Yes, that could pose a problem, but Bella didn't intentionally cheat on Mike, and she isn't a cheater by nature. There might be room for forgiveness...maybe.

Reviewer: spawyer (Signed) · Date: August 24, 2009 04:27 PM · On: Chapter 5- Comet

I love this story and am certainly intrigued as to how this is going to work out? If Edward is truly a great friend can he allow Mike to marry a cheating Bella or even if the wedding is called off,  could Edward take up where Mike left offf - are you not supposed to shun your friends' ex's???

Reviewer: andi_girl24 (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2009 11:54 PM · On: Chapter 6- Collision

Great chapter!  I can't wait for the next one.  Please update soon!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment. Glad you're enjoying the story. Next update will be as usual, Wednesday.

Reviewer: EandBforever (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2009 10:33 PM · On: Chapter 6- Collision

OME, Bella has completely lost it!  I feel bad for her, but lies do always come back to bite you in the butt!  Jessica is the worst, asking Bella how to take a man away from someone, when it's Bella she wants to dismantle.  Can't wait to see what happens.



Author's Response:

Glad you're enjoying the story. The next chapter will be even more interesting (I hope).

Reviewer: Aille (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2009 10:17 PM · On: Chapter 6- Collision

Oh, what a way to meet up again.  That is absolutely horrible & funny at the same time.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment.

Reviewer: clairesuter (Signed) · Date: August 23, 2009 10:04 PM · On: Chapter 6- Collision

So, who's gonna find her?  I really hope it's Edward.  She owes him some sort of explanation;  as bad as it's been for her, now it's even worse for him!  Enjoying your story, looking forward to more!



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment. Edward will get his explanation, don't worry about that.

Reviewer: mcamastow (Signed) · Date: August 20, 2009 10:25 PM · On: Chapter 5- Comet

Bella is so heartbroken bt what she did  its sad to read and ed seems so taken with her.



Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments. Glad you're enjoying the story.

Reviewer: Gelsamina (Signed) · Date: August 20, 2009 03:21 PM · On: Chapter 5- Comet

I get the feeling that Jessica set everything up, hoping to break up the engagement & get Mike on the rebound.  I'm looking forward to the awkward dinner



Author's Response:

One dinner coming up...stay tuned to see what becomes of it.

Reviewer: EandBforever (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 10:50 PM · On: Chapter 5- Comet

OME, I'm so glad it wasn't Edward and Bella that each other had seen/heard in the lobby!  That would have been disasterous in front of Mike's mom and Jessica.  However, dinner should be interesting with Ed Masen and all!  LOL  Can't wait to read it! 



Author's Response:

Yes, it would have been a disaster for Bella and Edward to meet that way, but fortunately that was avoided. Wait for the next chapter and see what happens. It might turn our differently than you might think...

Reviewer: clairesuter (Signed) · Date: August 19, 2009 05:29 PM · On: Chapter 5- Comet

Wow, I can't wait for dinner!  This oughtta be good!  I imagine a LOT of food poisoning!  :-)  Looking forward to more!



Author's Response:

Glad you're enjoying the read. Next chapter on Sunday so keep a look out. Edward and Bella's meeting is imminent.

Reviewer: MeMyselfandI67 (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 10:59 AM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

Great story can't wait for the next chapter, Jessica should get slapped for spiking their drinks, Hopefully she does.



Author's Response:

Thanks for your comments. Glad you're enjoying the read.

Reviewer: Dada2612 (Signed) · Date: August 18, 2009 12:31 AM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

I love it.

please update soon!!!



Author's Response:

Glad you're enjoying it and thank you for letting me know.

Reviewer: Gina2000 (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 11:02 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

Great tension and angst for poor Edward.  Love it.

I can't wait for Wednesday!



Author's Response:

Glad you like my story so far. Angst is fun to write. I'm looking forward to Wednesday too.

Reviewer: Gina2000 (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 10:50 PM · On: Chapter 3- Criminal

That's the problem with destiny...it always shows up at the Ritz.



Author's Response:

That it does, so you better be ready all the time, cause your life can change in a second.

Reviewer: Gina2000 (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 09:43 PM · On: Chapter 1- Stranger

This story has been fun to read.  I really enjoyed the first chapter. I liked the chemistry between the characters you created.  I also appreciated Edward's friends recognizing that something was wrong with him and taking him home rather than leaving him at the bar.  Jessica worries me; she seems a little too eager for Bella to get into mischief.  The first warning bell went off when she gave Bella an alias.

Technical critique  You've got quite a few grammatical errors and sentence structure issues:
1.  Pronouns do not correspond with the subject.
2.  Some of the sentences seem to get overly complicated by linking three thoughts into one sentence which leads to improper use of commas and semi-colons. 
3.  Not sure if it is your intention but Bella seems to link her happiness with the approval of others based on comments made in the first paragraph.  Is she unaware that elation should be a feeling she should possess and not determined by the expectations of others?

I hope you take my comments in the spirit they are intended -- to be helpful.  Again, I really enjoyed the first part of the story and am looking forward to reading the next chapters. 

Thank you for sharing your Edward and Bella with us.

My very best to you,
G.

 

 

 

 



Author's Response:

G.

 

I'm an pleased that you are enjoying my story so far and thank you so much for this critique. I appreciate everything you said and will try to improve on the points you suggested. As to your third technical critique, Bella does have her own joy, however since she has been with Mike it has been shoved under the rug in order to fit into his world. She thinks that loving someone is being who they want you to be and changing to please them, this will be explored later in the story. She is suppressing a lot of herself in the beginning of this story but it won't last forever. Again, thank you for this critique.

 

The Best to You

C.

Reviewer: spawyer (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 04:56 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

I really like your writing. This story is great. so full of possibillities. what's up with jessica? can't wait to find out.



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the compliment, I really appreciate your feedback. Stay with me, lots more to come.

Reviewer: amg98 (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 02:54 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

You're not playing nice with that cliffhanger.  Can't wait to read more.  Great story so far.



Author's Response:

Thanks. Glad you're enjoying it.

Reviewer: sheri1205 (Signed) · Date: August 17, 2009 10:18 AM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

Love your story.  Can't wait to read more!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much for the review. Stay with me as the rest of the story unfolds.

Reviewer: EandBforever (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2009 09:33 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

Oh man, you just had to leave us hanging again didn't you!  MEAN I tell you M-E-A-N!!! LOL

Reviewer: YuriSeth (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2009 06:45 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

come on , bring on the drama !!



Author's Response:

It's coming so hang in there with me.

Reviewer: clairesuter (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2009 05:46 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

Unkind with the cliffie, but I'll still be reading!  Looking forward to what happens next!



Author's Response:

I'm sorry about the cliffhanger but it was just called for at the moment. Glad you're enjoying and keep reading. All the comments are great for the writing muse.

Reviewer: mfoxee (Signed) · Date: August 16, 2009 04:47 PM · On: Chapter 4- Bounty Hunter

No forgetting now is there.



Author's Response:

Not a chance.

Reviewer: EandBforever (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2009 09:19 PM · On: Chapter 3- Criminal

OME!  Bella is going to get caught in front of Mike's mom?  That would be totally wrong, seeing how Jessica set it all up, wee at least that's what I think.



Author's Response:

Thanks for the comment. Keep reading to see what happens next.

Reviewer: Whitney Love (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2009 12:33 PM · On: Chapter 3- Criminal

I am enjoying your story. It's very good. Keep up the great work.



Author's Response:

Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it and I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Reviewer: mfoxee (Signed) · Date: August 15, 2009 09:50 AM · On: Chapter 3- Criminal

you writers sure like to keep things hanging somehow I don't trust Jessica I see her hand somewhere in the turn of events I think she wants Mike for herself ,could be wrong but I doubt it .



Author's Response:

Thank you for the comment. Keep reading and see if you're right.

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