I highly reccommend ppl ONLY READ THE FIRST chapter.

Absolutely awsome first chapter, very much Bella cahracter and how I imagine it could have gone. But everythng after that is utter rubbish tbh. Makes no sense they would do what they do in the  hospital really, nor does any of the Rose stuff make any sense, tahts in face the worst Ive ever read about her and that whole deal.

But great first chapter

you don't know when you will update. That is encouraging.

 

Great story.. Oh well

Please update soon!

Author's Response:

I'm working on it. Sorry for the delay, RL is being a witch. I just posted a teaser of the next chapter on the blog, though, if you want to check that out. ;)

~Ness

hi i hope you're doing well

its been along time since your last update

i hope everything is good

and im waiting for the next chapter

bye take care

Author's Response:

I am currently trying to finish and publish my own book, so, while I have no intension of leaving my stories unfinished, it may take some time for updates.

~Ness

I love how you write Edward and Bella. I really hope you will update this story. I've read your other story and liked that one too. Your very talented and of coarse you are in my favorite author list.

Author's Response:

Aw, thank you! :)

~Ness

Love it so far!!!  Please, update soon!

Author's Response:

Thank you! I'll try. ;)

~Ness

I started reading this story a while ago. I have to admit, I didn't find anything special about it when I began. It felt too similar to every other story with a depressed Bella. But you caught me when you described how she vomited black because of the coal in her body to counteract the poison. It stuck with me. I like the bit of realism that adds and I appreciated Bella's insecurities and guilt at the end of chapter one.

Going on realism though, the "bond between mates" thing is a bit extreme for my tastes. Being able to physically and literally feel a partner's pain and emotions was too much. Some of the magic was gone with that; call me a traditionalist, but I like the idea of partners simply being more in tune with the other instead of actually sharing the feeling. Seems more sensual, less technical.

I'm not a fan of blunt smut so what you wrote for this was very nice, in my opinion. Not very crass, not too poetic, but sweet. It was refreshing.

I only have two more brief comments. One, I wish you wrote in more residual... issues for Bella to deal with. She did attempt to kill herself; shouldn't there be more to deal with afterward? She may be feeling better, but depression can't be solved so quickly. And second, I'm hoping for something very unique in the plot. I'd bet money that you'd end happily with no tragedies at all, and I hope you prove me wrong. Not necessarily tragedies, but a twist would be nice. All I can see ahead is another Victoria builds an army and they fight eventually before Bella gets married and becomes a vampire. Take a risk. Surprise us.

With all that said, I do like this story. (I know that my reviews don't typically get that message across, even though I only ever review stories I enjoy.) Happy writing.

Author's Response:

Well, I kind of thought it was the opposite - I think the bond makes them more in tune with each other than just being in love. They're not just feeling each other, they're sort of in a state of being. The bond isn't artificial, like Jasper's abilities - it's everything to the person feeling it. It makes them become "one", if you will, with their partner. At least that's how I see it.

As for Bella's depression, you have to understand that as of right now, everything is going fast, fast, fast. It's only been a few days since she tried to kill herself. Everything is confusing and new. She's still depressed and she still has issues, but she just hasn't had the time to really dwell on anything - someone has always been with her, some other drama has always been going on, she's still getting used to her new connection to Edward, let alone that they're all back and the bombshell that he had loved her and still left her, and now the wolves; so, really, she just hasn't had any matter of quiet, alone time where those negative feelings start creeping up on her again. I speak from experience when I say that, if you are busy enough, you can momentarily forget that you're so depressed that you just want to die.

I wasn't actually going to have Victoira build an army, but I do plan on loosely following canon plot in the overall sense - there will be a happy ending, though, as you put it, there still may be tradgedies in between. I was considering killing off a few people.

Also, and please don't take this the wrong way, because I don't mean to sound rude (even though it probably will), I don't let my readers dictate how my story goes. It's already plotted, and I plan to follow that plot even if everyone else hates it. I'm the type of writer who writes to please myself, because, ultimately, my writing is a reflection of myself. If I'm not happy with it, than I become dissapointed in myself.

Anywho, like I said, I really didn't mean for that to be rude, even though it sounded like it. I appreciate your comments, and that you took the time to write such a lenghthy review! :D Thank you!

~Ness

i am gonna flip out if you don't update soon!!!  i am dying here.  i don't usually read any fics until they have atleast 10 or so chapters  LOL  so you my dear, are gonna be the death of me,  I think it's a super fic so far and an't wait to see the update

Author's Response:

*giggle-snort* Why, thank you! I'll try to update as soon as I can!

~Ness

wow!!!! I love this story, can't wait to readd the next chapter. I love the connection that Edward and Bella have (you make sound very powerful and I love it).

Author's Response:

:D Thank you!

~Ness

just found your fic tonight and i absolutely love it, especially the mate connection, Edward and Bella being more comfortable when they are alone together, and the fact that there is no love triangle woohooo!!! I hated the pseudo-triangle because in my opinion you cannot fall, even a little bit, in love with someone else when you have already met your soulmate and are that deep in grief and depression for your mate. In NM Bella was using Jake as a distraction, not deceptively or maliciously, but still a distraction from the pain. Jake is the one who thought he could make Bella love him eventually. I love SM's world and characters but I hate the way she wrote that kiss right before the big fight at the end of Eclipse. "Oh, yeah, I do love you Jake but sorry its not enough." and then in BD Jake imprints on Nessie and then its like "oh, we weren't in love that was just the imprinting attraction on an as of yet unconceived child." WTF? LOL Anyway, I can't wait to see what happens next in your version.

Author's Response:

Lol, well, if you want to get technical, my Jake does have a major crush on Bella, but Bella is only fond of him in a sisterly fashion. She doesn't feel romantic love toward him at all, which chaps Jake's ass, of course, and causes him to be a regular duache bag to the Cullens.

Because where would we be without the Jacob Drama?

Thank you for your review!

~Ness

Great job

Glad to see the update

Hate Rose. She is such a bitch in this. As always, I hate Jacob as well lol.

Author's Response:

Lol, yes, Rose and Jake are my Drama Llama's for this story. They just cause so much trouble, and I love it! :3

~Ness

I absolutly LOVE LOVE LOVE this story of yours!!!!! You are doing such a great job with it and I truly love reading it! Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more soon!

Author's Response:

Thank you!

~Ness

I love it!   I can't wait for you to update again!

Author's Response:

Thank you!

~Ness