Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Lunière
Reviewer: darkmoonlit (Anonymous) · Date: May 24, 2013 06:47 AM · On: Coveted

How disappointed I was not to find my NEXT awaiting me. I hope you post again soon as I was not done reading. I like your style of writing, it is well done. Anything that leaves the reader wanting more is appreciated

Reviewer: darkmoonlit (Anonymous) · Date: May 24, 2013 06:22 AM · On: When All Else Fails, Go Home

Very few stories keep me continually reaching for the NEXT but your rendition of Alice's view have done just that! Kudo's to you and for bringing Alice along so nicely. She is one of my favorite characters.

Reviewer: Alaska Rose (Signed) · Date: November 21, 2010 09:01 PM · On: Huis Clos

*gasp* Why have I not read this before? (It was wonderful!) =D

Reviewer: alphabetty (Signed) · Date: September 11, 2010 02:06 PM · On: Coveted

Your writing style and pace are spot on. I can't wait for more. 

Reviewer: Leizu (Signed) · Date: August 29, 2010 06:08 PM · On: Coveted

OK I am completely hooked, and it's left hanging! I need more dammit!

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:22 AM · On: Decisions

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

It’s nice to see how Alice and Edward get along... Yeah, that’s all I can really think of at the moment because I’m ready to read the next chapter!

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:21 AM · On: Homecoming

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Cute, cute, cute! You just have to like Alice and Jasper... they’re so... cute?

I actually feel kind of bad for Edward in this, it would be frustrating not being able to hear one person wouldn’t it? And that is an achievement because I’m not really an Edward fan...

Anyway, I really like the way you write... it’s so clean and easy to read. I don’t get lost and my eyes are literally glued to the screen!

As per usual, the chapter was brilliant and I look forward to more!

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:20 AM · On: Bella

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Alice thinks Bella’s boring right from the start...? Could you make this any more perfect?
Let me answer that for you: no.

That was simply gorgeous! I absolutely adored Alice’s view of Bella – I haven’t read anything like it, but it certainly fits into the books well. This story is already so great... I’m already reading the next chapter as I write this, so I’d better move on!

(By the way... you’re Jasper is so cute! I literally laughed out loud when he said “Emmett just doesn’t kiss like you do.” Hilarious.)

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:19 AM · On: Heartache

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

I’m itching to read on, so I’m going to make this brief: loved it! I can’t wait for Alice and Jasper’s night together outside Bella’s house... Must. Read. On.

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:19 AM · On: The Girl

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Amazing, again. I really, really liked how Alice mistook the vision in the classroom as Jasper and didn’t even think of Edward. That was a nice touch. I would’ve liked to have seen Emmett and Jasper bicker, though. That could have been funny. But, anyway, I can’t say anything except that I am looking forward to the rest of the story!!

Reviewer: enchantedmind (Signed) · Date: August 26, 2010 03:18 AM · On: Huis Clos

<!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1107304683 0 0 415 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-520092929 1073786111 9 0 415 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:EN-AU;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} -->

Wooooow... I actually stayed still the entire time I was reading this. Clearly you have some magical powers that you’ve projected into your writing because not even food can keep me still!

This was great by the way, no criticisms whatsoever. You made me laugh with Mr. Matthews in the hallway and you’ve made me want to go and learn French. Your chapter lengths are so great too, they’re not too long and you haven’t wasted space with useless chunks of writing! *Claps wildly* I shall continue on...

Reviewer: khortney (Signed) · Date: July 28, 2010 05:35 PM · On: Coveted

I cannot even put into words how amazing this story is. Please continue?

Reviewer: kreestahn (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2010 03:18 PM · On: Coveted

I LOVE this story. I think it is one of the best on this site, not just because it's from Alice's viewpoint but because of the emotional power it contains. You have done a fantastic job so far, and I sincerely hope you will continue this story =)

Reviewer: kreestahn (Signed) · Date: June 20, 2010 03:18 PM · On: Coveted

I LOVE this story. I think it is one of the best on this site, not just because it's from Alice's viewpoint but because of the emotional power it contains. You have done a fantastic job so far, and I sincerely hope you will continue this story =)

Reviewer: CurioBill (Signed) · Date: May 31, 2010 05:56 PM · On: Huis Clos

You ain't done yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the first fan fic that I have read start to finish during my short time here. PLEASE write some more of this wionderful story.



Author's Response:

Heh, I know I'm not done yet....and coincidently(or however you spell that) I've started revising and editing the next chapter.  I was inspired by a large amount of reviews in the last few days!  I was pretty convinced that no one read this anymore. 

 

Anyway, once school is out I'd like to get started again.  Hopefully I can hold up my end of the deal.

Thank you for the review!

Reviewer: Chellie (Signed) · Date: April 23, 2010 11:28 AM · On: Coveted

So why, oh why, oh why have you not updated yet????? Please do so soon!!! You're right there at my favorite part, when Bella finds out the truth!

I love Alice's version of Twilight, you've written her so well!And I think you've captured Edward's feelings fore Bella, and his and Alice's relationship perfectly!

The snow war was amazing, and such a great idea! I really like you're little jabs at Jasper's background with the Civil War, and his little story of sibling rivalry was amazing.

I do have a few things to point out though: A) Jasper's Ducati. He doesn't have a vehicle until Edward gets the Ducati in Eclipse (about a year from this point)  as an offer to ride with Bella, and then gives it to Jasper instead.

B) Why is Alice seeing visions, clips, of things that haven't even been dicided or a possibility yet? The hotel room, Jasper driving while Alice sits in the back seat of the Mercedes (without Bella yet in the car with them... and why has she seen that before?), the red shirt from Victoria's little mission for Riley. James and his little coven haven't come yet, and he certainly hasn't made the decision to track Bella. She doesn't even know about them being vampires yet (althoguh I'm sure that's coming in the next chapter!). Oh, and Bella alone in the forest, alive yet not. Even with that, it could've happened already if Edward had decided to leave again (only it wouldn't have been as bad). But I do like Alice getting little pieces of her human life, with the southern accent, even if she has no clue where they are coming from.

And I have a theory of her blackouts, since she's having visions of things that haven't been decided yet also. Maybe that has something to do with the wolves in La Push. A little foreshadowing maybe? She's looking at Bella's future, and Bella has a connection to La Push through Charlie and Billy's friendship.

Please, please, please tell me you haven't given up in this story. PLEASE! I can't wait for more!>



Author's Response:

Ms. Chellie,

First, allow me to apologize for my fail.  It's been a very busy year for me and I've just not had much spare time to spend on Alice.  Believe me, she's pissed too.

Thank you so much for your kind words.  I'm so glad you think I've managed to stay true to the original characters while still making them a bit my own!

As for your questions/point outs:

A) You're right!  And this slipped by myself and BOTH my betas, but was caught by a quick-eyed reader over at Ramblings and Thoughts.  I just haven't had the time to go back in and edit it as something else. 

B)  Now these issues you're catching here are how I've decided to interpret Alice's talent.  SM was INCREDIBLY vague as to exactly what Alice sees.  It doesn't always have to be something someone has planned.  The future is always swirling and shifting; Alice sees possibilities as well as probabilities.  The things she is seeing mean nothing to her, only to you because you have knowledge that she doesn't.  It's a literary technique called Dramatic Irony.  The glimpses Alice sees could be anything; only a reader of the series can attach any meaning to them.  Poor Alice, to live in a perpetual state of deja vu...can you imagine?  I'm pleased you like her little human glimpses.  Another example of dramatic irony.  Alice has no idea what is going on...but you do!

Ahh..the blackouts.  Now I've got a whole nother thing going on with those.  If you'd like to be spoiled, you're welcome to email me and I'll tell you what's going on with those.  You can then give me your professional opinion as a reader.

 

Anywho, I've not given up on Alice.  She won't let me.  She's just being politely quite so that I can function and be productive in RL.  Thank you so much for caring enough to leave this great review!

Reviewer: InsaneJediGirl (Signed) · Date: April 22, 2010 06:06 PM · On: Coveted

Love this story! Is this the end or will it be updated?



Author's Response:

Thank you!

 

It's not the end....but the next chapter won't be out for awhile.

Reviewer: serchn4heavensg8 (Signed) · Date: April 15, 2010 11:45 AM · On: Coveted

You have made the entire Twilight story new and interesting. I am saddened it has ended here. *frown*

I cannot wait to read your next chapter.

Write on!!



Author's Response:

Thank you so much!

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2010 07:53 AM · On: Despair

Wow!!!!!!!!!! That was really interesting!!!!!!!!! I love how Alice asks for Bella as a little sister instead of the moon!

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: March 08, 2010 06:29 AM · On: Marked

This simply fascinating!!!!!!  I love reading about what you think is going through Alice's mind during "Twilight"

Reviewer: fleur24 (Signed) · Date: March 07, 2010 10:22 PM · On: Decisions

This`is`absolutely fascinating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Reviewer: ermireallydontcare (Signed) · Date: March 07, 2010 04:47 AM · On: Despair

I really liked the idea that Alice sympthasised with Edward not wanting to change Bella because of her realisation.

Author's Response:

Alice finds herself in a lot of situations where she is in the middle of things, or at least that's how I see her position.  As the story develops I think she's going to find herself both wanting Bella, and in turn not wanting her to be a part of the family.  She's so deeply bonded to Edward, she begins to realize how Bella is going to affect their relationship.   It's a difficult juggle.

 

Thanks again for the reviews, I truly appreciate them!

Reviewer: ermireallydontcare (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 11:54 AM · On: Anticipation

Lol - got to love Emmett and his pranks.
Bless him, it's not often he gets one over on Alice ;)

Author's Response:

Heh...yes, it's very rare. 

I think I enjoyed writing this chapter the best, it was fun to open with the ending.

Thanks for the continued reviews!

Reviewer: ermireallydontcare (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 11:21 AM · On: Bella

I really liked this insight into Alice's first look at Bella.

Author's Response:

I sometimes have a hard time writing the two of them, because I really feel that Alice is as much in love with her as Edward is, it's just a different kind of love.  It is hard to express that and not come off all slashy.

 

I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

Thanks!

Reviewer: ermireallydontcare (Signed) · Date: March 06, 2010 11:07 AM · On: Huis Clos

Wow amazing start - you really show the love and devotion Alice and Jasper have for each other
Loving the PDA scene :)

Author's Response:

Well thank you!  It is always a surprise when I have new review alerts sitting in my inbox.

You've made my day for sure!

You must login (register) to review.




Share/Save/Bookmark


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.