Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviews For Broken Doll
Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2014 07:00 PM · On: Chapter 18

So, do you get ideas then look for facts to fit in, like the Synod or songs words?  Or do you find interesting facts, words then they spark story lines to you???? I have never trie writing myself, but have edited some of my grandson's work.  I just don't know where he comes up with his ideas.  I can add to them and such but just not the first spark to get started.  Though I have had a dream for several night in a row and have contliplated how the dream could work as a story as I rise to awareness / wake up.  Thanks to all authers who put themselves out there with their work and entertain us lowly readers - Xanath

Reviewer: xanath (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2014 12:54 PM · On: Chapter 8

I know I don't review every chapter becuse I am in a hurry to get to the nexxt chapter!!!!  HURRY HURRY PRESS THE NEXT BUTTON!!!!!!

Author's Response:

Ha ha ha!  YAY!  Welcome to Broken Doll Xanath! I'm thrilled you decided to check out this fic. I hope you enjoy it- don't worry about reviewing every chapter, just make sure to let me know what you think when you are finished - and don't forget to check out the wip sequel From the Ashes when you are through. :)

Warm regards and much gratitude,


Reviewer: crazymama (Signed) · Date: December 01, 2013 09:55 PM · On: Chapter 32 - Pieces and Shards: Leah

Wow! All of it, so good! This outtake no exception. Host Jacob and Leah ever! I love snarky Leah much better than bitchy Leah. Total crack up. Can't wait to move on to the sequel!!!

Author's Response:

Hee hee!  Thanks so much!  I'm raelly glad you enjoyed it so much. Make sure to check out goldenmeadow and Rie Warren's writing.  She is the one that wrote the wickedawesome outtake.  She also wrote a great book called Sugar Daddy that has a character full of snark but also lots of heart too.  RIE WARREN - look her up!


Rowan Moon

Reviewer: crazymama (Signed) · Date: December 01, 2013 05:47 AM · On: Chapter 25

Hmmm... Alec has me baffled. Whose side is he on?

Author's Response:

Hee hee! You will find out soon enough. I loved writing Alec. And Jane! Thanks for your review Shannon, I hope you enjoy the finale.


Reviewer: crazymama (Signed) · Date: December 01, 2013 02:32 AM · On: Chapter 18

This story is so awesome! I can't believe it's your first story!  It is so well thought out and plausible. It also meshes well with both history and the twilight universe. You really should get published for real!  I can't wait to read on... but real life calls. Time to go play a game with my son....

Author's Response:

Thank you so much Shannon! I really appreciate your review, five star rating and that you are enjoying this story.  I tried to intermarry cannon and actual history and myth with Meyers universe.  Thank you so much for noticing.  I'm working on an original novel I've been researching and outlining for the past two years once the sequel for Broken Doll - From the Ashes, is complete.  

Make sure you check out From the Ashes!

Have a blessed Sunday,

Rowan Moon

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 21, 2013 12:32 AM · On: Chapter 32 - Pieces and Shards: Leah

Wow... you do the best Leah pov's. She's even funnier than emmett.  Love the Jacob/Leah pairing. It always seemed 'natural' for those two to be together.

Author's Response:

I will have to pass this along to goldenmeadow who wrote this outtake for me.  Isn't she an amazing writer?  You should definitely check out her stories. She is putting out her first book "Sugar Daddy" in June.  Look her up under "Rie Warren".  :)


Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 10:00 PM · On: Chapter 29

That was a close call... remind me not to monologue with my enemy insight. That just invites disaster.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 08:32 PM · On: Chapter 1

I must agree w/ you there. My comments are bloated w/ self importance and arrogance of how I expected the story to unfold, and was an asshole myself when it didnt exactly go my way [like If i wrote it]. I used the reviews to vent my issues, without taking into account the amount of creativity, effort and sacrifice on your part to put yourself and this story together for all our sakes, not just my own.  I was/am RUDE. I apologize. Thinking about, this is an AU story, not to be compare in every detail to the original, which is exactly what i've been doing, and effecting your rating system because of it. Again sorry.

So, to all those who read this... This is an excellent story, that has kept my interest fom begininng to end. It is worth its author's weight in gold. 

Thank you for taking the time an effort to complete this work.

Author's Response:

I'm really affected and impressed by your heartfelt, very brave apology and kind validation of my work.  Thank you a million times over for this selfless act of contrition.  It takes a very balanced, well rounded individual to admit when they are in the wrong and I am solidly sitting in a place of admiration towards you whereas about an hour ago I was rather vibrating with indignation.  Not a feeling I enjoy.  Thank you for turning it around for me.

Bless you and your journey to find your perfect fanfiction connection. There are so many wonderful stories to enjoy in this fandom.  Have fun. ;)

Rowan Moon


Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 06:24 PM · On: Chapter 27

Ah, is bella a wolf now?... lame direction.

I knew it. I figure out who was the inside man.

Author's Response:

Lame direction?  What part of Three that become One do you not understand?  It's the entire plot of my fic.  So my plot is lame?  I'm glad you took you until Chapter 27 to figure that out.

Since we are being honest, Trillion, I found your reviews full of condescending and meaningless commentary.  Rife with bloated self importance.  Go talk down to another author somewhere else, please. 



Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 05:10 PM · On: Chapter 25

Let me guess.... Alec is a good guy. The inside man. Going to destroy the volt for what they did, Karma coming back x3 and all that. hahaha. I always had a good feeling about him.

Did everyone get clear on why bella left???, Did they know it was a vision?.You never said anything about that.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 03:53 PM · On: Chapter 1

LOl... no spoilers huh?.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 03:53 PM · On: Chapter 1

Will do. I won't rate until I have something positive to say.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 03:52 PM · On: Chapter 1

No worries... I bring everybody down that writes anything positive about Jacob black and about him being so persistent. Dude is an emotional leech. Sure the cullens suck blood, but he is a soul sucker. Just latches on and doesn't let go.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 03:15 PM · On: Chapter 22

Clearly Anyone who read this far already know what they mean of the three becoming one. Bella in this version anyway has wolf blood, striga blood and now just needs to get bit by edward, which of course he will try his hardest not to do in order to ''protect her soul'' [asshole]. So, that is what needs to happen to complete the prophecy.

Author's Response:

Author's Response:

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 01:52 PM · On: Chapter 1

Sry...jacob was mentioned in the chapter so.... 3 and half stars it is. I really dislike him. Not you.

Author's Response:

I would rather you not rate at all then continue in this manner.  You are going to affect my average if you continue with this.

Thank you


Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 01:50 PM · On: Chapter 1

Edassward also gets on my nerves. His decisions and inability to make decisions, always F's everyone over. All this nonsense about 'protecting her soul' and keeping her safe from me', all bullcrap. Its just lies that he tells himself that irritates the hell outta me. 

He knows what he wants... he knows what she wants... grow the hell up already!. F'ing manchild.

Also, the family just going along w/ his nonsense... GOD they are sooooo stupid with their passive agressive/permissive way of living sometimes. Sometimes the answer to stupid ass request is, NO!.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 01:45 PM · On: Chapter 1

Sry... anything that has to do w/ JB irritates me. Even in the SM version. I just hated the fact he couldnt grasp that she wasn't in love w/ him. I hated the fact that he used imprint as an excuse to go after her daughter's affection as soon as he thought bella was dead. I hated the fact that everyone just accepted him being around w/o kicking his ass everytime he simply looked at reneseme. [siccckkkk]. SM using imprint on jacob for the reason he still needed to be around was the worst piece of writing i've ever seen. And the Family just accepting his smelly ass in thier home EVERY day was just irritating beyond believe!. And bella's inability to draw a line in thier relationship, and inability to let him go, also beyond irritating.

Author's Response:

So, why penalize me, because that is what you are doing by abusing the rating system in your made up manner.  Understand that when you give a two star rating you mess with my overall average.  As in, Your two and three star ratings have the potential to turn my FIVE STAR STORY which I worked very hard on into a three star story which most will think is not worth their time to read, as others use it as a writing calibar rating system...not whether or not a character they hate appears in the story.



Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 02:54 AM · On: Chapter 12

I never did like the Jacob/bella or Jacob/reneseme thing, especially the lather. Something is extremely wrong when you just offer your daughter up to your spurn suitor, under the guise of 'imprinting'; so you can alleviate your guilt.

Jacob, cannot grasp the simple concept that 'no means no'. That is not YOUR FAULT. Nothing to feel guilty about. He and ppl like him call it persistence. I would call it, stalking w/ the intention to rape!.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 12:45 AM · On: Chapter 9

"I took something that was not supposed to be mine. Maybe, subconsciously, that's why I let him stay. I felt sorry for him but mostly I felt guilty. I kept them apart with my lies... and how convenient he would do anything to be near her... so he lied too by hiding, truly thinking it was the right thing to do. He made it so fucking easy. I cashed in on his Christ complex of suffering for someone else's idea of sin and nailed him to the cross of his twisted notions of what he thought was best for her". - jacob


Author's Response:

Two stars? 

Duuuuuuude.  Harsh.

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 20, 2013 12:32 AM · On: Chapter 8

"My silly tortured vampire. You honestly believed you were not good enough for me. Jacob had the inside track. He knew how far down I fell. He knew I needed you, that you leaving was all shades of wrong. By not letting you back into my life, deceiving me and manipulating you, he held back my salvation. He was perfectly fine letting me go on believing you never wanted me. That was criminal." -bella

yep...jake is an ass.

Author's Response:

Two and a half stars?  !!!!

How exactly does your rating system translate?

Reviewer: Trillion (Signed) · Date: March 19, 2013 11:48 PM · On: Chapter 7

Bella & Edward having sexy time, while Jacob is forced to listen to his not yet divorced wife get banged out by her ex! HAHAHAAHAHAAAAA.

Author's Response:

Welcome to Broken Doll, Trilliion.   Thanks for the review.  3 1/2 stars? Can't say I've gotten that low a rating, before but I appreciate it none the less.


Reviewer: michellea71 (Signed) · Date: November 29, 2012 12:23 AM · On: Chapter 9

This is one of the most original fics I've read so far!! Love it!

Author's Response:

Thank you so much Michelle!  I'm glad you like the twists and turns I built into this alternate twi-verse. Make sure to let me know when you get to the end!



Reviewer: michellea71 (Signed) · Date: November 28, 2012 03:40 AM · On: Chapter 1

I have just discovered this...LOVING IT!!

Author's Response:

I am very thankful for being discovered!  I hope you enjoy this and the sequel, From the Ashes, which I am hoping to wrap up in the next few months.

Thanks for your review and support!


Reviewer: mOrE_tHeN_mY_oWn_LiFe (Signed) · Date: May 10, 2012 09:33 PM · On: Chapter 18

I am a new reader, and am falling in love with your story, my husband asks if I am ever going to Put down my Phone lol I love the depth of history and the use of the craft! So I am going to go now and continue reading! Lol so glad you stepped out into the fold with the other fabulously gifted writers on this site. It helps give me the push I need to someday add my stories as well!!

Author's Response:

Hello Cheyanne!  Thank you so much for your kind words and support!  I really enjoyed weaving all the different textures of myth of Twilight and tweaking it to my own fancy.  I got lost in the research - in fact I have fallen down the rabbit hole with my research and writing of Broken Doll's sequel From the Ashes, which I hope you check out as well. 

Reading the beautiful, talented offerings from the other authors on this site gave me the courage to start writing - JUST DO IT!  Seriously.  In all the writing blogs I've read and workshops I've stolen from friends who were generous enough to offer them one message is on constant loop; A writer WRITES.  Just ramble, dream and roll along - you never know where the threads of consciousness you are following will lead.  Sometimes the knots even hold a special kind of beauty!  Do it Cheyanne.  You are a nurse - you observe the human condition at it's most vulnerable and most courageous.  I bet you are an excellent reader of body language to judge a patient's pain or mood - write it all out.  Show us the part of ourselves few get to see.  Start out with writing what you know and go from there!  

Do it.  If you have any questions or wanna chat it out - PM me! 


Rowan Moon




Reviewer: karin9166 (Signed) · Date: February 12, 2012 03:00 AM · On: Chapter 29

I have loved your story!!  I am so glad that you are continuing on with From the Ashes!!  Yay!:}}

Author's Response:

I have really enjoyed your reviews as you read through the story Karin, thank you so much for giving my little story a chance!  From the Ashes can be found here and on  

See you next time!


You must login (register) to review.


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.