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Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 02:10 AM · On: Chapter 6 Piggly-Wiggly (V)

The Sam thing sucks, but it's a good backstory. Jasper is adorable! And Edward, sigh...

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 01:00 AM · On: Chapter 5 S.T.37

I liked all of Edward's stories and his obedience of bossy women - that made me laugh! The lemon was great and exactly right given the sunburn and all. I also liked how Edward questioned Bella on the why and had her go thorugh all the reasons before dismissing it.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 12:22 AM · On: Chapter 4 A Deity at the Beach (V)

It's such a shame that she's so burned already. I can't imagine there is going to much touching, unless maybe Edward applies a soothing remedy all over her body...

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 03:17 PM · On: Chapter 12 Ex Communication (V)

Well, there you go!  You did indeed flesh out the thread with Sam very nicely.  It all came together as smooth as silk; you're the master!  And now the cliffie about Edward's skeletons.  Uh oh......I'm biting my nails, new fill and all.  If my paint chips, I might have to come after you girl! lol

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 02:42 PM · On: Chapter 11 Swate Tay, Plays (V)

Finally, more on Sam.  Though it was good to read more about him, maybe Bella could have had a few more fleeting thoughts and/or memories of him in previous chapters.  I can see that he is an overbearing idiot but the past tidbits and his current behavior could mesh better.  I have to ask why someone who got his soulmate pregnant, married her, and left his fiance - Bella - in the lurch, would still be trying to meddle in her life?  Maybe Emily isn't so much his soulmate after all, but that's all we've been told.  If it was real life, I'd guess that someone who did that to a girl would be going out of  his way to avoid all contact as it would be painfully embarassing.  But on the other hand, I have to give you the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he still does truly love Bella and wishes things had turned out differently.  Maybe he has been trying to be friends with her and it's just not working because they were engaged until recently.  I'll of course read on.  And, this is just my humble opinion and I still love your story and your writing is so good that that's the only suggestion or thought that I have.  As always, you Rock!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 02:15 PM · On: Chapter 10 Panting & Painting (V)

Edward is getting mixed signals from Bella but what else should he expect after the way she was last treated.  I'm with Bella; she must be fearing the heartache when things with Edward will end, especially considering her strong rreaction to him.  Things ended badly and unexpectedly with Sam so she's bound to fear the same thing happening with Edward.  He'd better be real careful around her.  I still don't trust Sam or James, for that matter.  Especially now that Edward is hovering around Bella; James will be forced to play his hand and he seems like the kind of guy, already, who thinks he has every right to help himself to Bella, like it or not..... As usual, excellent writing.  I love the little insights into Rose, Emmett and Jasper's character that get sprinkled in.  The drinking tells is a good example.  You are AWESOME! I guess you're done with the story and I'm just getting to it now so I hope you appreciate the belated comments.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 11:43 AM · On: Chapter 8 What Got Left Behind (V)

Of course we all HATE Sam now!  That story thread might be good to work up in future chapters.  No matter what, it affected Bella and will color her relationship with Edward.  Glad to hear that Edward went with her to the airport and admitted that there was no way they weren't going to see each other again.  Phew!  Hot stuff, even the memories are spine tingling.  Poor Bella.  Did I mention what an idiot Sam is.  It's a mark of a good writer that a character is well enough developed that I actually hate him!  You Rock, as usual.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 11:34 AM · On: Chapter 7 Sweet Tea & the Southern Inquisition (V)

I agree about the too fast fling and that everyone should experience one at least once in their life - with the mentioned precautions, of course!  At first, it seemed from the story, that their relationship was progressing out of pace with the given events; but now, after the way Bella was all afternoon with Edwrd's parents, that they have something a little special going.  But, why didn't Edward offer to come see her?  Surely he's not thinking he can go on without seeing  her again, because if that's the case, then this is just a meaningless hook-up.....And actually, I have to say that every question or concern I've had about the story progression has been answered immediately in the following chapter so yeah, YOU GO GIRL!  You Rock!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 11:09 AM · On: Chapter 6 Piggly-Wiggly (V)

Oh no!  He did hear!  Well, at least now that Bella has opened up about two-timing Sam, they seem to have more of a basis for their relationship, if you could call it that.  Glad we're over the whole pity thing but I would love to hear what went through Edward's mind when he heare that awfull story about poor Bella.  Did it make him feel more protective?  Maybe you could switch points of view more often, as the story unfolds, rather than by chapter.  I'm not sure how it should be, because again, I'm not the writer.  Just wondering.  You, however, are getting pretty good at the writing and I really do like that your English is correct, punctuation and all.  Few things are more annoying than someone who thinks they can write, but gets all the quotation marks and dialogue wrong, or they switch tenses in the middle of a paragraph, etc.  Not too much of that on this site, but still, I am so glad you can definetely write!  Thanks for the enjoyable story!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 10:46 AM · On: Chapter 5 S.T.37

Very well written, actually!  I'm not so sure about how forward they were to each other.  It didn't seem as supported as it probably needed to be from what's happened before in the story.  That's the only thing I might have done differently, but I am not a writer!  I do know how bad sunburns hurt though and I definetely liked your cure better.  I can't imagine Emmett's reaction in the morning will be anything short of explosive and overly huffy.....I hope Bella's sunburn fades enough begore the weekend ends to allow them to truly make love.  Maybe if we knew more about what Edward is thinking and feeling, their actions would be more believable.  You go girl!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 10:04 AM · On: Chapter 4 A Deity at the Beach (V)

Nice writing.  I was relieved that it was clear that Jake was boring to Bella. No spark there, and Edward could see it.  I wonder if we'll find out what in paticular, Sam did to hurt Bella so badly - besides just breaking up with her.  It sounds like he did it in a particularly nasty way that could interfere, as Alice suspects, with future relationships.  Hope everything works out with Edward because, of course, we know they belong toghether.  They are souldmates and I would be disappointed if it turned out any other way.  This is why we read Twilight.  I have faith in you.  So far, your writing is far from disappointing.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 09:40 AM · On: Chapter 3 Back the Truck Up

OK, could Edward behave any worse?  He should have seen Jake to the door, especially when Jake motioned for Bella to walk with him!  I can't see how the story will turn around when Edward has already admitted to himself that he's leaving soon and can't start a relationship.  Who's he kidding.  Bella is going to spend the morning with Jake.  I am getting frustrated with Edward, but in a good way.  Hope things steam up the right way soon..... Good writing with just the right amount of anticipation to keep the reader hooked, rather than so frustrated that they give up on story.  Keep it up!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 08:58 AM · On: Chapter 2 Hell Coming Up on the Left (V)

Boy did Edward ever blow that one!  He did make her feel slutty and should try to apologize again later.  Looks like they will both, however, have trouble keeping their hands off of oeach other.  Wonder what will happen when Jake sees her.  I have no doubt that sparks will fly.  I do hope you do 'sparks' well.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 08:48 AM · On: Chapter 1 Beginning at the End (V)

New story for me.  Like it so far.  Sounds promising.  Hopefully, you've given the main characters a chance to be properly introduced before the 'games' begin.  Clever having Jake locked out and having to sleep on the sofa.  You set the stage well when Edward came home the previous night.  You described the effect of Edwards voice on Bella well; also, Edward was not unaffected by Bella's simple cotton nightgown.  So far, so good!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: September 29, 2010 03:46 PM · On: Chapter 3 Back the Truck Up

This is so much fun! Edward seriously has no filter.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: September 29, 2010 03:31 PM · On: Chapter 2 Hell Coming Up on the Left (V)

It's so funny how Edward really could have had all he wanted if he had just chosen his words better at first. I'm looking forward to the morning after and the Jacob factor.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: September 29, 2010 03:11 PM · On: Chapter 1 Beginning at the End (V)

I really liked how the story just got right into the action. I also like how the attraction is already there, but they didn't have sex.

Reviewer: CindyMarie88 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 06:56 PM · On: Chapter 11 Swate Tay, Plays (V)

Thank god for Edward punching Sam, I wanted to punch Sam too!!!

Reviewer: CindyMarie88 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 03:47 PM · On: Chapter 8 What Got Left Behind (V)

The best part of Bella and Sams fight is this quote right here, I love her for saying this to Sam. I stepped up close to him and put my finger in his chest. “You could have done almost anything except letting your pregnant something-on-the-side barge into my work and scream at me for trying to break up her marriage to my fiancée, you selfish, hateful, brainless, spineless son of a bitch!”

Reviewer: glock26girl (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 08:10 AM · On: Chapter 33 Missionary Man

wonderful story

Reviewer: glock26girl (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 07:17 AM · On: Chapter 31 Jasper's Outtake: Family Lost & Found

Thats really nice it kinda hits home to me !

Reviewer: glock26girl (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 06:45 AM · On: Chapter 29 Another Day in Paradise

I would like to thank you for taking the time out of your life with family friends and work  to make my happiness in reading your thoughts you are truly talented and I'm so sorry I don't do puncutation or sentence structure well !

Reviewer: glock26girl (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 06:14 AM · On: Chapter 28 Coming and Going

Ok why would Bella be pissed obviously James is nuttier that a fruit cake put him in the nut cracker suite!

Reviewer: glock26girl (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 05:52 AM · On: Chapter 27 Every Breath You Take

That's such a pussy shit motherfucker he needs a stillito in the nuts OMG I'm so pissed I know this is fic but holey hell there are ass wipes just like James out there Always be on your toes!!!

Reviewer: mikkirose13 (Signed) · Date: September 26, 2010 12:47 AM · On: Chapter 33 Missionary Man

That was an EXCELLENT chapter. I am hoping for 1 more chap and then EPI. We need the bridging chap, does Emmett agree, does Rose agree, Who did Bella compete against in Iron Chef, HOw did opening a new Restaurant and reconfiguring Cullen Constructon go. Epi is 5 years later, children, successful business. If the EPI is next it will miss the mark unless you made it superlong which would be equal to 1 more chap and then an EPI. Your decision my opinion:)

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