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Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2010 01:53 PM · On: Chapter 18 So Far Away From Me (V)

I can't believe they got a mortgage together! Sorry, but that was just stupid, they easily could have rented and it would be much more believable.


James is definitely going to screw Bella over somehow. He's the only one she told that she was leaving and it's too much of an opportunity to do something to further whatever his plan is.


You are not evil. Jasper can't die, it would just be too cruel.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2010 12:35 PM · On: Chapter 17 Yes! Yes! Oh God, Yes! (V)

I'm not mad at Bella, in fact, I'm loving her progress. It's real and sincere. Emmett was a good older brother and it was nice to see this side of B/Em's relationship.


James is just up to something, but I really can't decide whether it's personal, professional or both. I feel like he could be working every angle and may even having been talking shit to Bruce.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2010 09:29 AM · On: Chapter 16 Get What You Need (V)

I was sweating a bit at the start of the chapter, which is just what you wanted, you sneaky person! Loved "the talk" and slow-and-sweet after. Looking forward to the outcome of Edward's interview and how Bella deals. (It would be interesting is Edward got it, but initially told Bella he didn't just to see if she's disappointed. She is and realizes she really is ready to go all in. Then Edward confesses the truth, hopefully in the same conversation, and HEA - but with lots of sex!)

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: October 03, 2010 05:55 AM · On: Chapter 14 Relations & Revelations (V)

That was beautiful.  Only you can make hot, sweaty, cramped car sex seem like the most romantic and still smoking hot thing in the world.  Sigh.  I'll guess that things will become not so easy soon, since this is, afterall, a drama.  A very good drama indeed!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2010 07:46 PM · On: Chapter 15 Fallout (V)

Bella did freak out a little, but Edward did come down a bit harshly. Though I understand his need to nip it in the bud. So how did the conversation go when she eventually came home? It doesn't seem like the air has been cleared.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2010 07:21 PM · On: Chapter 14 Relations & Revelations (V)

I was surprised with the twists of Alice and the Swan parents all announce east coasts intentions, but I liked the set up. The ILY was good to. I noticed it was mostly one-sided.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2010 05:52 PM · On: Chapter 13 Just a Few Bones (V)

Love the pace, the emotion, the banter, the fun, the sexy, etc. I especially like how well Bella handled the final conversation with Sam. But I have a feeling James could be an issue...

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2010 08:04 AM · On: Chapter 13 Just a Few Bones (V)

This was another great chapter. I really like how the story is unrolling, the pace, the banter, the emotion, the fun... it's all genius!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 02, 2010 07:26 AM · On: Chapter 12 Ex Communication (V)

This was great! The banter, the explainations, and especially how Bella handled the final conversation with Sam. It was perfect, with a fantastic lemon on top!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 03:23 PM · On: Chapter 11 Swate Tay, Plays (V)

What the hell is Sam's deal? I'm glad Edward got to hit him. That will be small consolation once the hear the full Sam story.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 10:42 AM · On: Chapter 10 Panting & Painting (V)

Again, loved Edward calling Bella out on her running away. The James thing is interesting. Looking forward to what develops there.


Bella admitted Edward is her boyfriend! Did he hear her?

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 10:08 AM · On: Chapter 9 Bella in Her Element (V)

Alice is a naughty, manipulative genius! Again, I just love Edward here. He really tries to do what Bella needs to be comfortable. I'm looking forward to him getting his dream job in Seattle...

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 09:39 AM · On: Chapter 8 What Got Left Behind (V)

I'm hating Sam very much. At least with imprinting, you break things off right away and it's just a sad situation. This is so much worse! I LOVE how Bella stood up for herself and totally put him in his place!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 08:50 AM · On: Chapter 7 Sweet Tea & the Southern Inquisition (V)

Cullen family time was GREAT. The only thing better was the sex, of course, and Edward's speech at the end. He is just perfection!!

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 07:10 AM · On: Chapter 6 Piggly-Wiggly (V)

The Sam thing sucks, but it's a good backstory. Jasper is adorable! And Edward, sigh...

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 06:00 AM · On: Chapter 5 S.T.37

I liked all of Edward's stories and his obedience of bossy women - that made me laugh! The lemon was great and exactly right given the sunburn and all. I also liked how Edward questioned Bella on the why and had her go thorugh all the reasons before dismissing it.

Reviewer: london spam (Signed) · Date: October 01, 2010 05:22 AM · On: Chapter 4 A Deity at the Beach (V)

It's such a shame that she's so burned already. I can't imagine there is going to much touching, unless maybe Edward applies a soothing remedy all over her body...

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 08:17 PM · On: Chapter 12 Ex Communication (V)

Well, there you go!  You did indeed flesh out the thread with Sam very nicely.  It all came together as smooth as silk; you're the master!  And now the cliffie about Edward's skeletons.  Uh oh......I'm biting my nails, new fill and all.  If my paint chips, I might have to come after you girl! lol

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 07:42 PM · On: Chapter 11 Swate Tay, Plays (V)

Finally, more on Sam.  Though it was good to read more about him, maybe Bella could have had a few more fleeting thoughts and/or memories of him in previous chapters.  I can see that he is an overbearing idiot but the past tidbits and his current behavior could mesh better.  I have to ask why someone who got his soulmate pregnant, married her, and left his fiance - Bella - in the lurch, would still be trying to meddle in her life?  Maybe Emily isn't so much his soulmate after all, but that's all we've been told.  If it was real life, I'd guess that someone who did that to a girl would be going out of  his way to avoid all contact as it would be painfully embarassing.  But on the other hand, I have to give you the benefit of the doubt.  Maybe he still does truly love Bella and wishes things had turned out differently.  Maybe he has been trying to be friends with her and it's just not working because they were engaged until recently.  I'll of course read on.  And, this is just my humble opinion and I still love your story and your writing is so good that that's the only suggestion or thought that I have.  As always, you Rock!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 07:15 PM · On: Chapter 10 Panting & Painting (V)

Edward is getting mixed signals from Bella but what else should he expect after the way she was last treated.  I'm with Bella; she must be fearing the heartache when things with Edward will end, especially considering her strong rreaction to him.  Things ended badly and unexpectedly with Sam so she's bound to fear the same thing happening with Edward.  He'd better be real careful around her.  I still don't trust Sam or James, for that matter.  Especially now that Edward is hovering around Bella; James will be forced to play his hand and he seems like the kind of guy, already, who thinks he has every right to help himself to Bella, like it or not..... As usual, excellent writing.  I love the little insights into Rose, Emmett and Jasper's character that get sprinkled in.  The drinking tells is a good example.  You are AWESOME! I guess you're done with the story and I'm just getting to it now so I hope you appreciate the belated comments.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 04:43 PM · On: Chapter 8 What Got Left Behind (V)

Of course we all HATE Sam now!  That story thread might be good to work up in future chapters.  No matter what, it affected Bella and will color her relationship with Edward.  Glad to hear that Edward went with her to the airport and admitted that there was no way they weren't going to see each other again.  Phew!  Hot stuff, even the memories are spine tingling.  Poor Bella.  Did I mention what an idiot Sam is.  It's a mark of a good writer that a character is well enough developed that I actually hate him!  You Rock, as usual.

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 04:34 PM · On: Chapter 7 Sweet Tea & the Southern Inquisition (V)

I agree about the too fast fling and that everyone should experience one at least once in their life - with the mentioned precautions, of course!  At first, it seemed from the story, that their relationship was progressing out of pace with the given events; but now, after the way Bella was all afternoon with Edwrd's parents, that they have something a little special going.  But, why didn't Edward offer to come see her?  Surely he's not thinking he can go on without seeing  her again, because if that's the case, then this is just a meaningless hook-up.....And actually, I have to say that every question or concern I've had about the story progression has been answered immediately in the following chapter so yeah, YOU GO GIRL!  You Rock!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 04:09 PM · On: Chapter 6 Piggly-Wiggly (V)

Oh no!  He did hear!  Well, at least now that Bella has opened up about two-timing Sam, they seem to have more of a basis for their relationship, if you could call it that.  Glad we're over the whole pity thing but I would love to hear what went through Edward's mind when he heare that awfull story about poor Bella.  Did it make him feel more protective?  Maybe you could switch points of view more often, as the story unfolds, rather than by chapter.  I'm not sure how it should be, because again, I'm not the writer.  Just wondering.  You, however, are getting pretty good at the writing and I really do like that your English is correct, punctuation and all.  Few things are more annoying than someone who thinks they can write, but gets all the quotation marks and dialogue wrong, or they switch tenses in the middle of a paragraph, etc.  Not too much of that on this site, but still, I am so glad you can definetely write!  Thanks for the enjoyable story!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 03:46 PM · On: Chapter 5 S.T.37

Very well written, actually!  I'm not so sure about how forward they were to each other.  It didn't seem as supported as it probably needed to be from what's happened before in the story.  That's the only thing I might have done differently, but I am not a writer!  I do know how bad sunburns hurt though and I definetely liked your cure better.  I can't imagine Emmett's reaction in the morning will be anything short of explosive and overly huffy.....I hope Bella's sunburn fades enough begore the weekend ends to allow them to truly make love.  Maybe if we knew more about what Edward is thinking and feeling, their actions would be more believable.  You go girl!

Reviewer: bloodbanker (Signed) · Date: September 30, 2010 03:04 PM · On: Chapter 4 A Deity at the Beach (V)

Nice writing.  I was relieved that it was clear that Jake was boring to Bella. No spark there, and Edward could see it.  I wonder if we'll find out what in paticular, Sam did to hurt Bella so badly - besides just breaking up with her.  It sounds like he did it in a particularly nasty way that could interfere, as Alice suspects, with future relationships.  Hope everything works out with Edward because, of course, we know they belong toghether.  They are souldmates and I would be disappointed if it turned out any other way.  This is why we read Twilight.  I have faith in you.  So far, your writing is far from disappointing.

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