Your donations help keep this site running,
thank you very much for the support!
Reviewer: Biker Babe (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 12:09 PM · On: Grotesques

God I love this story. 

I collapsed twice over my keyboard reading this chapter in frustrated, heart-wrenching agony. There is so much weight to the most subtle moments it completely stops me in my tracks, I have to close my eyes and take a deep breathe just to inhale the beauty of this story.

The first moment was Alice trying to find Penn Station in the wrong state. I don't know why that makes me tear up just thinking about it, but it does.  

The other is when Jasper throws out his meatloaf. After all he has gone through, its too much....

I am tearing up again....what can I say. Exquisite. 


Reviewer: Graveyarder03 (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 10:46 AM · On: Grotesques

Well, that was a rough and emotional chapter (in a good way!)... You have done such a good job of protraying emotions!  Wow, I can't even imagine how hard it would be to show that much raw emotion in words!  Sheesh, but you do a great job!  Thank you for updating and writing!  This is such a beautiful character story!

Reviewer: miaokuancha (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 08:27 AM · On: Grotesques

Well, first of all I love the title and I LOVE the quote!  And so perfect for this chapter.

Your Emmett is GREAT.  The prank with the ducks!  OMG I fell off my chair laughing.

Absolutely NO problem whatever with POV.   Completely clear from start to finish.

You depict these two profoundly likeable characters (likeable because of how you have written them, and drawn us into their lives) in this difficult spiral bounded by their truths, ah so well.

They are so human, so fallible, so real.

Write on!!

Reviewer: Anamika (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 08:25 AM · On: Grotesques

It's always such a joy to bring up my favorites and discover that you have posted another chapter.

Reviewer: deltagirl (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 07:59 AM · On: Grotesques

OMG, he loves her so much and is trying to hard with her. This is such a change from Jasper who couldn't think past all of his problems. It is strange to see Alice so shut down. I wish these two could get past the need to protect each other by keeping secrets. I love this story.

Reviewer: lucky_chica85 (Signed) · Date: January 20, 2010 07:37 AM · On: Grotesques

So good as always! Please update soon!!!

Reviewer: kellyliz82 (Anonymous) · Date: January 20, 2010 07:11 AM · On: Grotesques

I want to shake Alice, wake her from her slump. I get it, I do. But I don't have to like it.;) It makes me sad that she is falling into this dismal state and taking Jasper down with her. Hard to read but it was good. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. I hope Jasper gets his answer soon and that he has a good visit with his family.  The only part that left me confused was in the beginning, his leg being injured. I will have to go back a chapter and see if it came from there.....

Reviewer: Ice Kiss (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2010 08:02 PM · On: Of Marble and Angels

I have a new found appreciation for Jasper in this fic. 

Jasper's end monologue made me warm and fuzzy.  And while I know she was sleeping, I wish Alice could have heard him.

Reviewer: Ice Kiss (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2010 07:30 PM · On: Not Even Past

Alice really is such a lovely name. 

Reviewer: Ice Kiss (Signed) · Date: January 17, 2010 07:15 PM · On: Keeping Silence

This story is amazing.   

I have a feeling i'll be up all night reading. 

Thank you for sharing your stories and talent.

Reviewer: ToTheEights (Signed) · Date: December 29, 2009 04:01 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

Beautiful, as usual.  The writing is eloquent, deep, and rather stunning.  Keep it up-- you're doing great.

Reviewer: kellyliz82 (Anonymous) · Date: December 19, 2009 06:50 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

Another perfect chapter. I felt Jasper's pain in not being able to help her, her sadness in losing her hope. Perfection.

Reviewer: twilifecrisis (Signed) · Date: December 18, 2009 08:59 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

Loved it! So emotive and intense!  Can't wait for more!

Reviewer: sevanderslice (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 10:51 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

Reviewer: Biker Babe (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 09:28 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

P.S. I nominated your story for the Bellie Award "Story That Haunts Your Dreams" - never has a category more aptly describe a story before - that is exactly what this story does to me!

Reviewer: Biker Babe (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 09:20 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

My heart is in my throat reading this. As always, your story impacts me on such a deeply emotional level, I am left breathless. I just want to close my eyes and revisit lines in this story over and over again and experience their unique and profound beauty. You got my right in the gut, absolutely exquisite.

Reviewer: jazzylover314 (Signed) · Date: December 17, 2009 07:55 AM · On: Valley of Ashes

when? please when? they just had to of cared for her. edward was her brother, her brother. he used to tease her about her crushes and only brothers who love their sister's do that, only ones that care... just i want her to have more than jasper, even if she doesn't need it

Reviewer: jolene509 (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 10:10 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

that. was. brilliant. i want to read this chapter again and again.  it has so much emotion and substance to it.  this is real; no frosting no sweetness, just nit and grit and real. even the beginning where Jasper can't see the game because he can't stand up and down constantly.  i absolutely love it

Reviewer: Graveyarder03 (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 06:54 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

Alice does need to be found!  Grr at her family for not finding her! 

A part of me I do think that maybe Jasper should have talked to Emmett more, some things you can't do alone. 

I love your story, it is so beautiful in its dark sad way.  I do hope someday Jasper with Alice find the happy ending they both deserve! 

Thanks for writing, you're very talented as an author!

Reviewer: corriebird (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 06:05 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

oh gosh, I love this story! Please update more often!!! On the other hand, I would read an update and love it just as much after ten years.

Reviewer: KimmieB (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 04:46 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

I am glad to see that Alice has come out of her comatose state and that Jasper was able to handle it without running.  I also like how helpful and understanding Emmett was.  I just hope that Alice is able to deal with this and doesn't just try to forget about it.  I got a feeling that Alice is going to fight Jasper like crazy about looking for her family, but I hope she listens and tries again.

Reviewer: oceanwaters2006 (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 04:04 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

Oh God, I felt as scared as Jasper did when he got the phone call from Charlotte! I can't imagine feeling so powerless when you need to get to someone who needs you that badly! 

And then Alice, my goodness, I expected what she looked like when Jasper finally got to her, but they way you described it just made it that much more heartbreaking. To just be completely blank....GAH. 

So loved Emmett for being there like he was...and so very glad that Jasper reconnected with him just because of that. 

I think Alice remembers a lot, and I really hope Jasper gets her to face it...she has to sometime!

Great, amazing writing, as always, can't wait for more!! 


Reviewer: miaokuancha (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 03:00 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

Love the way that Emmett comes through for Jasper.

I've been afraid all along that Alice's family were somehow involved in the crash as well and that they had never sought for her because they had also perished.  At this point (in light of last chapter and this) I'm guessing that's not the case.  Would be lovely to salvage a happy ending in the end.

Come what may, this long and winding road that you are tracing is wonderful and engrossing.  So glad to see this update.

Happy holidays,


Reviewer: lookingforhoofprints (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 01:42 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

*rrriiippp   thud*

That was you ripping out my heart and stomping on it. You write so perfectly I can just feel the emotion straining to get off the page.  Love it!

Reviewer: Gerolling (Signed) · Date: December 16, 2009 01:12 PM · On: Valley of Ashes

Oh wow, great chapter. Thanks for the update after all the time. Amazing story and amazing writing skills.

You must login (register) to review.


© 2008, 2009 Twilighted Enterprises, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws.
Privacy Policy | Terms of Service

All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the intellectual property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.