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Reviewer: WinniePony (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 09:20 PM · On: Seamless

Aww, I'm like crying now. That's so cute! Dang, I'm such an easy cryer.

So yay, they're definitely stuck together now. And Jasper's head is out of his ass, so everything's good! I love it. =D



Author's Response:

Jasper has only partially extricated his head from his rear... he has a little further to go, but at least he's breathing now ;-)

And, as much as it makes me sad when other people cry, it love hearing that this story makes people cry, 'cause I cry pretty much continually while writing it.  It's good to know I'm not alone!

Thanks, Winnie!

Reviewer: Little Miss Mionie (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 08:39 PM · On: Seamless

Wow. I've been reading this fic chapter and chapter non stop. I just...wow. You write beautifully, your grammar and punctuation is perfect, and your plot is absolutley AMAZING. I swear, if these two were original characters, it could totally be a novel.
The best of luck with this fic and with all your prose,
xox
Little Miss Mionie



Author's Response:

Thank you for your comments--especially for the ones about turning this into a novel.  I hope to write a novel someday, and even though I obviously can't use the fanfiction I've written, I would like to draw on some of the things I've presented in this story whenever I write an original work.  So thanks for the confidence boost!

Reviewer: shadesofgray (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 05:33 PM · On: Seamless

This is seriously one of the best stories I've read on here.  I forget sometimes that it's fan-fic...it's so well written that it could be a story about 2 people you created, not characters that you've borrowed.  And yet, you weave in bits and pieces of SM's world so artfully.  I love it.  Please update soon!



Author's Response:

Thanks very much!  I've written canon stories before, but I really wanted the opportunity to explore these characters and their relationship in a human, non-fantasy setting, to see what a "real" Alice and Jasper might look like, and how they might act.  I do try to follow canon for a lot of it, but I've also been able to give them my own touches and personality traits that were (sadly) left out of SM's series. 

The next chapter has been submitted!  Just waiting for approval!

Reviewer: riddiculusvampire (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 04:12 PM · On: Seamless

AWW! I'm sooooo happy that Alice is going to be living with Jasper...i literally screamed "YESS!!" when he asked her. Great chapter! I absolutely love this story!

-riddiculusvampire



Author's Response:

Haha, I wanted them to live together too; very much.  It's not, like, a romantic thing for them yet--but the closer (physically) they are, the faster they can heal and take the steps towards romance that we all so desperately want them to take!

Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 01:04 PM · On: Seamless

I have to rewrite this review because I passed out right after reading this last chapter and then my battery died...

You get mad props for quoting Murakami !! I'm sad that in my marathon read of this story that it's come to an end and I must patiently wait for the next update. Keep writing, because it's nothing less than stellar.

Wonder if they'll tap on their bedroom walls and talk to each other to say the things they're afraid to say face-to-face.

Author's Response:

Thank you again--I think Murakami is underrated and unfortunately largely unknown in this country.  He's a wonderful writer!  The title of this story comes from Dance, Dance, Dance, which is probably my favorite book of his (hmmm, maybe I should mention that somewhere?!).

Reviewer: missloonylovegood (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 11:15 AM · On: Seamless

Yay! Alice is living with Jasper now! Maybe she'll get a better job. :/

Reviewer: twilifecrisis (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 09:50 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

Oh wow....I'm just sitting here, bawling like a baby!  I take back the stuff about the foul language...I'm getting used to it and I love this story so much!  You are a fantastic storyteller!!!!

Reviewer: jilburfm (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 07:53 AM · On: Seamless

This chapter is sooooo amazing.  I absolutely love it.  Especially how Alice is honest with him about her confusion and hurt and how he finally accepts that he's not a fucking monster and can be a support for her. 

Best Line:
"So do you... I wonder if I've ever heard a more remarkable sentence."

Reviewer: thesomethingspecial (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 07:13 AM · On: Follow Through

this story is beautiful.

Reviewer: TaylorMa (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 05:56 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

I love your story! it is amazing. i have been reading it at work all day! oops! but i couldnt help it, your story just completely sucked me in and i could not stop. you have the perfect mixture of romance and realism, i love that jasper curses like a sailor. i cannot wait for the coming chapters!



Author's Response:

Thank you for not hating me for making Jasper curse.  I can't tell you how many comments I get that say the exact opposite... so it's nice to see someone who actively likes it :-)

Ha, I also like that you're reading this at work.  I do that too, and I'm just waiting for my ITC guys to notice the surge of ff.net and twilighted traffic that occurs every time I'm in the building... oops!

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: gjmb2000 (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 04:50 AM · On: Seamless

This is wonderful... I can't stop reading.

More, please  :)

Reviewer: mommycamille (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 01:54 AM · On: Seamless

Absolutely amazing!!! I found this story before bed last night and stayed up reading the entire thing. Then I dreamt of it - that's something I haven't done in years, dreamed about something I read. And here it is 6am and I'm back for more.

Please, please update soon. I just love the characters and need to know what happens next.



Author's Response:

Oh my, I'm so sorry that you stayed up so late reading this!  I'm actually a little jealous that you dreamed of it though... I've NEVER been able to dream about it, which makes me sad :-(  I do hope it wasn't a nightmare!

The next chapter has already been submitted... just waiting for acceptance!

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 14, 2009 01:14 AM · On: Seamless

aaaaw! I love it.  thanks for bringing Jasper to his senses. more than once i wanted to strangle that boy.  a side note - will alice take compensatory action against the driver of the car? Can she sue? Can she afford a lawyer to sue? Please keep these two together and please keep writing. I was beyond excited when I saw that your story had updated. 



Author's Response:

I often want to strangle Jasper, so I'm right there with ya on that one.

As for Alice taking legal action: I've considered this, but ultimately decided against including it.  I don't know nearly enough about trials to write one convincingly, and I think that having her go through the long, drawn-out process of a trial would seriously detract from the relationships I'm trying to build in my story.  Also, she wouldn't be included in a lawsuit brought forth by the victims' families, since she obviously survived.  She and the other four survivors would have to bring their own legal action, and yes, I'm not sure she could afford a lawyer to do that.  Don't worry though.... Jasper will take care of her :-)

Reviewer: Beckylady (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 08:39 PM · On: Seamless

You are awesome!! This story is so sweet with enough angst that it isn't sappy.  I just hope that Jasper doesn't decide to push her away again. And I really hope her family finds her soon. They have to be frantic! Poor Edward!



Author's Response:

Poor Edward indeed, and poor Alice and Jasper's families... they're all separated right now, which is very sad.  However, Alice and Jasper need to come into their own healing before they're able to deal with their families, so it may be a little while before we actually SEE what's happened to our favorite vampire family.  I promise they'll figure into the story later though!

Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 08:22 PM · On: Six Impossible Things

I wanted him to kiss her under that umbrella! I can't wait to see when they next meet.

Author's Response:

Wow, thank you so much for reveiwing EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER.  I can't tell you how excited I was to wake up this morning and have like, 12 reviews all from one person!  Amazing.  I'm glad you're liking it thus far.  To me, Alice and Jasper have the most interesting canon relationship, and I'm just trying to bring that relationship into a believable, human world without sacrificing much of it with the loss of fantasy.  I'm very glad that it seems to be working for you.  Oh, and I'm sorry you stayed up so late to read all this... I hope you weren't too too tired today!!!

 

Thanks again!

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 07:57 PM · On: ... by Such

If he know what? Oh, it's 1am, but I can't stop reading!

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 07:51 PM · On: And by Such...

What did he do?? Good call on short chapters here... !!

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 07:43 PM · On: And Yet Afraid

Reading the past few chapter has made my body numb... sometimes tingly like lovey dovey goosebumps, and sometimes out of nervous anticipation and sadness. Sigh. Well done :)

The ending to this chapter was again, heart-wrenching.

I hope that Alice's family is still alive...

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 07:17 PM · On: Trying to Say

Oh shit. This is getting even better than I imagined.

I hate the "kid" nickname, too :( But I love how she sneaks him candy. Their nightly time together is so touching and I love this journey you're taking us on with the characters.

... but my clients will not like that I'm only at 50% tomorrow because I stayed up all night reading this story.

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 06:52 PM · On: Follow Through

Where to begin... big turning point for our characters... I do hope that Jasper doesn't get mad at her. I like how the menacing, broken call button pieces everything together here.

Also eager to hear more about Emmett and Rosalie, though I fear Alice's assuptions are correct in that the photo was tucked in poems "by the dead"... I "wiki-ed" the anthology... reading about the premise kind of gives me the chills!

Reviewer: miaokuancha (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 06:25 PM · On: Seamless

Wooh!  This is good!  Great opening chapter, really sets the tone.  And this:

 

The site where her fingers brush my skin turns into a great fault line that quickly travels across my entire body.  My skin rips apart, and I can feel fluid rising to fill the gaps. 

 

Wow!  What a description!!

 

“And how are we feeling today?”



 

Like my skin is pulled so tightly across my bones that even the slightest movement could rip it apart.



 

Like every ounce of water in my body has evaporated and no matter how much I drink, I will always be a desiccated shell.



 

Like I’ve been split in two and the left side of my body is disintegrating slowly into ash.



 

“It hurts.”

 

Wow, this is so intense, the whole chapter!  But lots of verisimilitude.   I also love the irony that Jasper can only sleep in short naps of 1-2 hours, while Alice is out for 12 hours at a stretch.

 

I raise my right hand so that it is bathed in the moonlight pouring in through the window.  I examine the tendons that run from my wrist down into my arm.  I move my fingers one by one, watching as each responds with graceful elegance.  I clench the hand into a fist, and watch how the blue veins stand out against the translucence of the pale skin.



 

Still making a fist, I let my hand fall back down beside me.  I hiss as the slight jostling of the bed sends fresh tremors of pain through my body.  Everything hurts, everything burns.  All I can think about is the pain.



 

That hand—that’s all I have left of normal.

 

Wow, this is really deep, emotionally speaking.   Not histrionic, not uber-angst, just real and deep and expressed with subtlety and restraint.

 

I have a name.

And with that knowledge, I find that, even without my painkillers, I'm relaxed enough to be able to truly rest.

I close my eyes and tap on the wall behind me.

Goodnight, Jasper.

Immediately, the noise from the television fades.

Goodnight, Alice.

 

The way they communicate by noise and silence is really beautiful.

 

 

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."


~Michelangelo

 

Awesome quote.  Perfect for this story!

 

Omg this chapter is so romantic!!!

 

*swoon*

 

And when it comes time for her to leave the hospital, then I will let her go. The relationship we'll form will be based on need and circumstance, and nothing else. That way, when she finally does go on her way, there will be no backwards glances and no regrets. For either of us.

 

Think again, Jasper!

 

 

Chapter 5

 

I nod to myself. That's a fair answer. And I'm grateful to whomever she's met in this god-awful place that has made her believe in life again.

 

Gee, I wonder who that could be …

 

Ok, I can’t keep commenting on every single chapter ‘cuz this’ll be way too long.  But this is a really really REALLY good story.

 

You’re not an English scholar for nothing.

 

*************************

 

They found each other again!  Yay!!

 

 



Author's Response:

Ha, wow, this is an insanely long review!  I was laughing while I read it.  I love all of the lines you've pulled out--to me, those are many of the most important sentiments in the chapters.  I also like that you noticed my chapter titles/quotes.  I take a fair amount of time to come up with precisely the right quotations for each chapter, so it makes me happy when people notice them!  And thank you for the English scholar comment as well... comments like that make all my years of study worthwhile. :-)

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 06:23 PM · On: Protection

More tears for my pillow. So sad. Stupid drunk drivers... it's like the latest with the rookie pitcher that was killed last week... drunkard walked away, as they most often do...

So glad that Alie shared her story.

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 06:06 PM · On: Of Marble and Angels

That ending was so beautiful... my pillow is soaked with weepy-goodness. So beautiful.

Reviewer: bellybean (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 05:47 PM · On: Not Even Past

Oh, now I really want to know about Alice's accident, too. Plane crash, car accident, train wreck?!

The dynamics between Jasper and her are so miniscule, but so grand, I love it.

Reviewer: Paige6 (Signed) · Date: April 13, 2009 05:46 PM · On: Seamless

More Please =)

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