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Reviewer: purplemilk27 (Signed) · Date: June 09, 2009 03:27 AM · On: Waging War

You continue to amaze me.  The formatting for JPOV was amazing. I love when, as a reader, you're able to escape into a character's thoughts so smoothly. I love to see Jasper and Alice heal each other, when even they don't seem to realize how much they're helping each other.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Reviewer: tigerwriter (Signed) · Date: June 09, 2009 01:01 AM · On: Waging War

I’m writing this review in a word document ‘cause it’s going to be so damn long. Also, because I want to include quotes, and also because I don’t want to embarrass myself with stupid spelling mistakes. But now there are going to be horrible little green lines under almost every sentence... Oh, well.

Anyway. Story. Right. Where do I begin? Okay, how about when I heard from the forum that it had been updated on FF. That was agony. I had to wait a day. Because, I do love FF. But for this story at least, the boring background and plain font just take the magic away. And I couldn’t have that. So, I waited and was entirely too worked up over it. I told everyone I know who knows about fanfiction. “Ugh, my favourite story’s been updated on FF but not on Twilighted... I’m bursting at the seams.” They shake their head and walk away usually, but I’m used to that.

He stares at me long and hard, and I want to ask him if he's ever woken up to find that it's raining, and left the house without an umbrella anyway so that no one would be able to tell he'd been crying.

That line just broke my heart. It was the beginning of my end. The image it created... it was just... yeah, breathtaking. Absolutely and completely.

And then the little skips in her description, like she’s just blacked out during that time because all she can focus on is him... (at least I think that’s what you were doing—correct me if I’m totally wrong) It really helps to erm... show so clearly how she is feeling and acting. I saw that over on the forums, your beta said you were a "method writer" because you need to actually feel and experience what is going on, and that’s fantastic, because then we feel and experience what is going on all the more clearly, and that’s done so well with the gaps.

And - ---- ----- -- ----- ------ --- then - ---- --- ---- all - ---- --- ---------- that's ---- --- ---- --- ---- -- - ---- ---- ---- left ------- --- ---- ----- ---- ------- is ---- - ---- him.

I just pray that she says something so that I can tell her to shut the hell up, or reaches out and touches me so that I can knock her hand away. I want her to shiver, or fold her arms across her chest, or pull her collar up around her neck so I can stare her down and remind her that it's her own damn fault she's out in the fucking cold. I want to insult her and belittle her and hurt her until I can watch the screen that skews her perception of who and what I am shatter into a million fucking pieces on the pavement. But she just keeps silently matching my pace, always exactly one step ahead of me, like she knows that if she doesn't lead I'll never find the will to walk the distance, and if she gets too far ahead I won't follow. And so we reach our building, and just like she always has, she leads me out of the rain and into a wholly different kind of storm.

I don’t really have anything to say about this paragraph only that is it utterly beautiful. But all of yours is, really. Your writing is like poetry, almost. It just flows with this utter grace and beauty... I’m not very good at describing, sorry, but this is by far the most beautiful thing I have ever read (ugh, I am using that word too much!) Oh, I meant to ask. Is there going to be any smut in this story? Because, my mum thinks fanfiction is all a load of crap and that I shouldn’t be wasting my time reading it, so I need to get some stuff for her to read to show her that is isn’t crap, some of it is actually fricking amazing! So, naturally, I want to give her this story, but I think she’ll be angry if she finds I read smut.

I love how you’ve got the two different times going on in Jaspers POV. It’s like, this is what I was before, and this is what I am now. It accentuates the difference. And then how you don’t swap the times after complete sentences, you leave them open. It’s like ‘hold on, i’ll be right back’ and then we get something else and then we come back. It adds a continuity that non-linear structure like that often lacks. It’s not as if each paragraph is separate from the next, but that there are two different stories weaving together seamlessly.

How do you look someone in the eyes and show her everything that remains of your miserable life, all the while knowing that if she cringes, or cowers, or so much as blinks, that one little piece of you that's still left living will die?

Again. Heart-break. The two seem to be able to sum up so, so much in a short, sharp, hard-hitting sentence like this one. It’s amazing.

Okay, so here’s the thing. I don’t cry. I want to cry. I read stuff and I feel like absolute shit and I know that if I cry, I might not feel so bad, but I can’t. And I’m not going to say I cried at this, because I didn’t, not really. I tried. I stopped reading and laid my head down and willed the tears to come, but they didn’t. But, I was in the middle of it, and my mum came in and told me that I wasn’t allowed to go to the Lily Allen concert with my friend, that I had to go with them instead, and I just buried my head in my pillow and started positively bawling. My mum got absolutely terrified, because she didn’t understand how something so small could make me so upset. But I was so upset about your chapter!

And now I’m just going to list some more favourite lines and maybe ramble some more:

And Alice...

... Alice, why can't I tell you that I'm sorry?


But I can't wish it gone either. I can't even wish that I'd never gotten it-or say with absolute certainty that I wish there'd never been a fire-because all the marks on my body have led me to this moment, in this bed, with this woman, whose love is the only thing strong enough to tie me down to this world.

Ah, there’s the title tied in. Love. *sigh*

For the first time all night, I squeeze her hand.

See, that’s what I mean. It’s the little simple things that mean the most.

and to speak the words "I love you" now would be tantamount to blasphemy. Maybe later-when the world doesn't hinge on our connection-maybe then I'll be able to tell her. But now...

It did seem like that. “I love you.” Would have seemed weird and out of place if you had placed it in the dialogue. There’s is so much more than words can express.

The kiss at the end just made my day. It made me so happy. I felt like crying tears of joy. You’d heaped all this angst on us, but in the end it doesn’t matter. We got this. I’d imagined before how they would first get together, and it was similar to this, but of course you made it so much better than I ever could of imagined.

I’ll leave my speculating till next chapter, or the forum, because this review has gone over a thousand words and I really have to get going. I just... I cannot express how beautiful this is and how much I love it. I seriously can’t live without it (so don’t you go abandoning it or finishing it any time soon!)

Thank you so, so much.

Reviewer: Calling_Siren (Signed) · Date: June 09, 2009 12:18 AM · On: Waging War

My God....this is wonderful....sad, hard to read as hell, but the emotions are so're great, really!

Reviewer: Little Miss Mionie (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 11:48 PM · On: Waging War

Wow, such an amazing chapter. I loved the reactions of both Alice and Jasper....the throw back to the title in one of those last paragraphs! The formatting was really interesting and I think fitted this intense chapter perfectly, and so did the quote. I especially enjoyed the first part of Alice's POV, the broken sentences. 

Ungh, how I wish I was a year older so I could go to that forum... :)

Good luck with this fic, you're an absolutely brilliant writer, Struck Upon A Star!!

Reviewer: Angel_Joy (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 10:59 PM · On: Waging War

Such a great chapter.  Loved it, loved it, loved it!

Reviewer: Beckylady (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 08:40 PM · On: Waging War

Wow.  Just wow. That was intense and well done. :) Thank you.

Reviewer: McQueen (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 07:48 PM · On: Waging War

It is about time my friend. And only a few days since I left a whiskey offering on Faulkner's grave. Fantastic. The format is not the norm but it amplified what you were trying to convey, so good job. Hat is off and please don't make me wait that long for the next chapter.

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 07:27 PM · On: Waging War

WOW. Just...WOW.  I found myself holding my breath during this chapter, and zooming thru the italics to get the the current time to see if it worked out. This chapter was beautifully written - unbelievably so. So painful, hateful, hopeful, so full of longing and rage and angst and pity and fear and love and loathing and courage and cowardice...reading it wore me out, so I can only imagine what it did to you as author. Be seriously proud of this piece - this writing is art. :)

Reviewer: jajo (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 06:24 PM · On: Waging War


Reviewer: lovelyazn (Signed) · Date: June 08, 2009 07:28 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

I just read your latest chapter in FF ... I really loved it! I felt the pain that both Alice and Jasper were feeling! Great chapter (just like all the rest, and it wasn;t confusing at all!) It was certainly worth the wait! Keep up the excellent work!!!!!!

Reviewer: fadingembers (Signed) · Date: May 30, 2009 08:58 AM · On: Lessons in Longing

I love this story.  I've been slowly working my way through it for a month now, and I really wanted to let you know it's been a blast.  I laugh, I cry, I read another chapter.  This is a great fic - don't leave us hangin' here!

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 30, 2009 06:44 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

Hi there :)  I am SOOO in love with this Jasper (all Jaspers, really!) and am hoping that you're able to update soon and let us know what's going on with our boy!

I love this story, truly. I have SO many questions about Alice! where did she come from? who is she? why is no one looking for her? :(((((

Hope all is well with you! :)

Reviewer: Taigh (Signed) · Date: May 26, 2009 03:09 PM · On: Lessons in Longing

Woah... this is epic :O Gobsmackingly brilliant.  Your characterisations of Alice and Jasper have made them feel so real that I've cried for them.

Reviewer: McQueen (Signed) · Date: May 25, 2009 03:36 PM · On: Lessons in Longing

Okay, you are seriously killing me. This is my all time favorite story on here, so I am BEGGING you to update soon.

Reviewer: duckyd16 (Signed) · Date: May 19, 2009 04:32 AM · On: Lessons in Longing

please update soon! im BEGGING YOU! update. please.... im so excited to read the next one,,, :(

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 07:27 PM · On: Lessons in Longing


I can't stand it! how could you leave us with this cliffie, oh heartless one!!!!!!

I beg you, implore you, prostrate myself before you -PLEEEZE UPDATE or I shall PERISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love = reviews = chappies = love

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 09:16 AM · On: Trying to Say

HOT DAMN!!!  Mind-reader Alice??

I am sooo sad she's gonna be discharged!!!! ;(  They should just make a pact - he closes his eyes, she comes in, turns on the light, and looks her fill - this way, he doesn't have to see her expression until she can get over her first look at his burns.

I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this story. I just started it, and am whipping thru the chapters, and am sad - I'm gonna run out shortly! Waaa :(  I hope my reviews inspire you to write some more!!

Love this Jasper, LOVE this Alice - I'm done with her shopping addiction!


Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 08:27 AM · On: Of Marble and Angels

Awwwwwwwwwww :(  What happened to Jas's heart to make him this way???

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 07:51 AM · On: Not Even Past

"Alice remembers more when you review."

Well, if that isn't blackmail, I don't know what is! :)

Yeah, yeah, Alice - hello, Jasper was set alight! I don't care what happened to Tattoo Alice!  (heehee, ok, I do, but I am Team Jasper aaaaallll the way!)


Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 07:34 AM · On: Keeping Silence

tap tap....this is unholy sad. :(   I cannot imagine the pain he's in....what happened?????  Nothing, NOTHING is worse than burns!  Scarier than drowning even, if being caught in fire.



Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: May 14, 2009 07:29 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

Ohh, juicy intrigue right from the beginning! I love that :)


Poor Jasper!!!!  What ran him over?? :o

Reviewer: TaylorMa (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2009 10:31 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

OMG i dont even think i can put into words how much I LOVE YOUR STORY! i dont think i can do a review of it justice but i am going to try!

this was one of the first fan fictions i ever read (i love alice and jasper!) and it is still far and away my absolute favorite. everytime i get an email notification that one of my favorites on twilighted has been updated i PRAY that it is tie me down to this world! it is just so poignantly romantic. yet the mixture of their real world issues and fears (and of course jasper's potty mouth... I LOVE IT!) makes it that much more heartwarming.

you make me feel everything little nuance of their love and longing. its so painfully, yet wonderfully bitter sweet. i dont mean to be so mushy and sappy but i JUST LOVE THIS STORY!

i adore alice. absolutely adore her! it is so easy to see why jasper loves her. and jasper, him and that mouth! SWOON! you have to love his reasoning for trying to let alice go (he wants what is best for her and thinks she deserves better than him HA!) even if that reasoning is so totally flawed! i just want to smack him and tell him to snap out of it.... he is PERFECT for her! and i am practically writing you a novel here... sorry!

so in conclusion, I LOVE THIS FABULOUSLY AMAZING, SUPER FANTASTIC STORY! I impatiently wait for updates!!!!!!!!!

Reviewer: CiAnna27889 (Signed) · Date: May 12, 2009 09:13 AM · On: Lessons in Longing

Oh my God. 

This story is so beautiful and poignant that words absolutely fail me.  I've actually cried, and felt my heart swell.  During my lifetime I've had two loved ones go through the pain of being severely burned and the torture of the grafting process, and you have captured the torment and frustration so completely.  And Alice's character is the most human and enduringly beautiful I've ever read.  Your interpretation of the characters is amazing.  Your writing is amazing.  I am longing for the new chapters already.  I want to be there when she finds her mountains!

Reviewer: fanpire123 (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2009 02:55 PM · On: Lessons in Longing

OMFG!!!!!!!!! Amazing!!! I'm sooo dissapointed in myself it has taken me days to finish reading this one chapter!!! But it is amazing :D Finally!! Please update soon, you're awesome!!!!

Author's Response:

Thanks!  Ha, that's okay, it took me days to finish *writing* this chapter, so we're even.  Thanks for the encouragement--I will update as soon as possible!

Reviewer: blondie (Signed) · Date: May 05, 2009 12:13 PM · On: Lessons in Longing

I just read this whole story (AGAIN) and am happy, sad, heartbroken and hopeful.  I tell everyone about's just...*sigh* WOW

Can't wait for the next installment.


Author's Response:

Aw, thank you for the review.  I can't believe how many times you must have read this by now.  And I have no doubt a large portion of my readership is due to your influence, so thank you for that too! 

Next installment... *blushes*

*turns off internet and begins to write*

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