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Reviewer: Tears_of_Mercury (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 04:35 PM · On: Synonymous

I loved this chapter.  It was a great chance to see the last chapter's confrontation through Alice's eyes and to have her face all of the ugly parts of Jasper's injury that she's been ignoring.  I also liked the small, awkward development of their relationship as it shifted into something more defined.  Reading about Jasper filling out her application and writing such a long cover letter made me "aww".

Thanks so much for sharing.  It was great to see an update!

Rachael

Reviewer: CollMom (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 04:06 PM · On: Synonymous

Yay! Finally some answers for Alice and a little skin-on-skin. I think Jasper's going to make it...

Reviewer: FrozenSoldier (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 01:44 PM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

Thank you for taking the time to answer my few questions :)

I understand that section about him holding her hand even better now, and it makes me just that bit more perfect!

Thanks x

Reviewer: Daisy-Chain (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 01:22 PM · On: Synonymous

God this is the most beautiful thing i think i've ever read.

i can barely even express my praise for it because i'm still buzzing after reading it. i've got that really content sort of feeling, like i just ate my first - and favourite -meal with my family in six months after being away at college, and now i'm like, so full that i can't really do anything except know that i'm happy and satisfied and sort of bask in that for a while.

It's like that. But with words and good story-ness.

i love slowly piecing Alice together. Sort of. It's sort of like there are two of her, or at least two layers. One that is now - the Alice that is starting from scratch, and that development has so much dependence on her interaction with Jasper. And the other Alice, the Alice-that-was. But each time a piece of the latter is grasped it affects the former. Finding out who Alice was influences who Alice is becoming, i think, is the easiest way to summarise. And you do it very well. This is the best Alice and Jasper fiction i've ever read.

Reviewer: McQueen (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 01:14 PM · On: Synonymous

Well hello stranger! Another wonderful chapter. It's great to see Jasper somewhat lowering his walls and letting Alice in. I'm curious to see how her memories will come back and what they are. Looking forward to the next!

Reviewer: FrozenSoldier (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 12:45 PM · On: Synonymous

I'd first like to say, when I logged into my email I had 5 notifications about updates from different stories, and some of them I LOVE. But when I got to your one I squealed, literally. I haven't read any of the other ones yet, I read the best on first :)

I would copy the whole start.. scrap that the whole story in here because all of it is beautiful, but this paragraph, really got to me.

But he was right, too. Because all those times when he tried to tell me about what had happened to him, I didn't listen. I thought I already knew what scars were. I thought I knew what it was like to feel paralyzed by your own perception of yourself-to not want to move ‘cause when you're lying motionless in the dark, you can still pretend you're anyone or anything other than what you are. I thought I knew what it was like to feel inhuman.

I didn't know a damned thing.

Its just so.. deep and meaningful, I don't even know how to explain it. You are such a descriptive and deep writer, I'm just truly amazed by all your chapters.

The section about the blue eyed boy who saved her, who wouldn't come closer to her really got to me as well. I'm assuming myself, that it meant that he was wondering whether what he did was the right thing. I really liked how 'you' as Alice explained that she was glad that he did what he did, and that if she ever saw him again she would thank him.

"I'm holding your hand," he offers simply, squeezing me tightly against him and pressing his lips into my hair.

This line is so simple, but so perfect at the same time. To me it just shows acceptance of each other, if that makes sense? That Jasper is alright with her touching his hand and that to me this little gesture shows that they can get through this, together.

Some part of me recognizes that Jasper's misplaced pronouns are important.

I was wondering whether you could explain it for me? If that is alright? Because I would love to understand it properly :)

I knew immediately when I read that she was going to write the application that Jasper will have written it for her already. And the way he wrote about her, even though she feels its not completely true you can almost see that that is how he sees her.

I'm glad hes talked to his family, and he even told them about Alice.. although I do wonder whether hes said more about Alice than what he told her, as in he didn't just say that Alice was taking over the half of the rent that Emmett used to have.

*sighs* the kiss. Would is be cheesy to say it was perfect. What the heck, I've said everything else about this chapter is perfect! Another thing - I like how he said the song was about her with the 'little darlin' line :)

*jumps around clapping* one word. Boyfriend :D

"Alice-you awake?"

I hum drowsily against his chest. He lies still for a minute, and then sighs and presses his lips into my hair. "Never mind. Get some sleep. Goodnight."

I mutter something that I hope sounds like, "'night, Jazz," and then lose myself to sleep.

What?! What? WHAT?!

What was he going to say??!?! AGH! I really want to know. I guess I'll have to wait! 

No worries about the delay, I can tell that must have taken a while to write! Also, I like how you are seperating it out so that it is one POV. I can't wait to read Jasper's side of things!

I hope all is well with you, too :)



Author's Response:

Hey!  You wrote an awesomely long review and asked a few questions, so I thought I'd answer what I could:

The part about the boy who saved Alice was one of my favorite parts as well.  Saving someone's life became an important theme in this chapter--what would it mean to save someone's life if you knew that if they lived, they would never be able to be normal again?  Is the act still noble at that point?  Or would it have been more appropriate to let that person die?  These are tough questions that Alice wrestles with.  Her conclusion at this point in the chapter is that she's happy with the life she has, regardless of whether or not it's "normal."  But Jasper?  She's not so sure.  She feels responsible for him and probably always will.  Every time she sees him struggling she's going to wonder whether or not she did the right thing by loving him and refusing to leave him (which would effectively been a death sentence for him).  Fortunately, by the end of this chapter, she gets a slight sense of closure on this issue.

Misplaced pronouns.  Jasper says, "I'm holding your hand," but, because he has no feeling or motor abilities in his left hand, he can't technically be holding her.  But the fact that he's willing to imagine it--to even want to imagine it is important to Alice.  He's learning to deal with what happened to him and accept that Alice loves him despite it all.  He's also learning to love himself, which is a huge step for him.

There will be a little more about what Jasper told his family in his POV, so I don't want to say much here.  But Jasper's not exactly a loquacious person.  I doubt whether he'd elaborate on his relationship with Alice without being forced to. 

I had a hard time coming up with a nickname for Alice.  "Darlin'" is overused, so initially I didn't want to use it at all.  But I figured that tying it to a song would give it a slightly different twist than just throwing it in there as a generic southern designation a male gives to a female.  I'm from the south; I've never heard anyone use the word "darlin'."

Ha, the ending of the chapter.  I promise this'll be resolved in the JPOV.  I bet you could guess what he wanted to tell her though--it's fairly obvious!

Thanks for the review, and I hope the next chapter moves you as much as this one did!

~SUAS

 

 

Reviewer: lavishone (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 09:08 AM · On: Synonymous

Really enjoying this story.  Sort of stream of consciousness thing is cool.  Continue to want more...

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 08:26 AM · On: Synonymous

Love it. Love it.Love it.

Reviewer: kellyliz82 (Anonymous) · Date: July 14, 2009 08:21 AM · On: Synonymous

Another amazing chapter. My emotions run rampant when I read your work. I feel their pain, their angst, their love.

 

I loved seeing Alice's POV this chapter and look forward to Jasper next time.

Reviewer: Esquire (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 07:36 AM · On: Synonymous

SO. EFFIN. WORTH. THE. WAIT. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god. I'm breathless, I'm teary eyed, I'm euphoric.  I don't care how you format these chapters, if you do the Pope's POV first, as long as you get to theirs, I'm GOOD!! 

I was SO psyched to see the email, telling me you'd updated!! Every time I go through my faves, I look for that sparkly match banner of yours. I love this story - it's painful and hopeful and beautiful and dark and ugly and scarred and angry and sweet and bitter and spiritual. WHEW. It takes my damned breath away.  I feel a need to know what's happening with these two!  And that they'll be OK, broken and torn, but surviving together, smoothing out each other's scarred places. 

This chapter was amazing. (I feel like I'm running out of adjectives here!)  I feel that Jasper has turned a corner - choosing life - and so has Alice, knowing that he - that someone - cares for her and wants to be part of her life.   I'm SO glad that his eyes were closed while she first looked at his scars - honestly, we are conditioned to one standard of beauty, and confronting his scars, which don't conform - was something I'm glad she was able to do in private, for both of their sakes. He wouldn't want to see her reaction, and she wouldn't want to show it to him. She just needed a moment to confront that standard, and defy it, and embrace all that he is, scars and all. I'm SO glad she was able to! Not surprised, though, as she considers herself so scarred, and unlovable.  Sigh.  I find love a torment - its power can lift you up beyond scars into beauty, or it can burn like the worst fire.

Alas.

Sincere thanks for this update - as always, it was beautifully written, tender, sad and sweet and hopeful. All good things.  Thanks for sticking with this story, too - it's magical.

LoriAnn :)

Reviewer: lucky_chica85 (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 07:23 AM · On: Synonymous

Good chapter!:)

I didn't mind just one POV... and if it will get updates out quicker, then I'm all for it!

Reviewer: Biker Babe (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 07:12 AM · On: Synonymous

I am speechless. This is amazing. This story absolutley blows me away. I can't even begin to tell you what this story and this latest beautiful chapter does to me. There simply are no words. That's it, I have to go back to re-read and cry a little bit more, simply for the sheer beauty of it. Your story moves me in a way NO OTHER STORY EVER HAS. I love Twilight, don't get me wrong. LOVE IT. But this, fuck, this is something else.

Reviewer: blondie (Signed) · Date: July 14, 2009 06:35 AM · On: Synonymous

You kill me with this - you know?  I never have tissues around when I read your updates - I'm such an idiot!

I was getting pretty pissed at Alice for not saying something about defining their relationship - I'm glad that Jazz got her to cough it up. 

He's come a long way in his healing...I'm curious about Alice's side, though.  But I'll wait patiently.

And I like the idea of splitting POV's into separate chapters.  It makest them very focused.  Lovely, like always!

blondie

Reviewer: Biker Babe (Signed) · Date: July 06, 2009 10:34 AM · On: Waging War

My heart pines for this story, please, please update soon. I miss this so much, it is crazy! I know there are lots of stories on this site to occupy my time while I wait, but nothing satisfies me like this does. I am absolutely beside myself. Please come back soon!

Reviewer: You know i love you (Signed) · Date: June 16, 2009 10:58 AM · On: Prologue: Nature's Second Course

I love this chapter cant wait for more(;

Reviewer: Tears_of_Mercury (Signed) · Date: June 15, 2009 04:45 PM · On: Waging War

A lot of authors, both in the fanfiction and "real" fiction circles, love to play around with "edgy" styles - prose verse, non-linear story-telling, etc.  Out of those, only some are able to use it successfully, and I think you're probably one of the very few I've ever seen use it in such a way that it not only makes sense but enhances the story with so much richness.  Lovely opening verse (which from your A/N is a compliment to you as well as Twila Reaux, so thanks to both of you for that beauty!) and absolutely staggering ending of Alice's POV, not to mention the entirety of Jasper's POV.  Seeing you employ these less-than-conventional narrative techniques is like stumbling upon a treasure - I almost feel guilty that I haven't paid twenty dollars on a hardback version of your story for the pleasure of enjoying it.

I can definitely see some Faulkner parallels now that you've pointed it out.  Wonderful job weaving the title into the story, which so few writers do well.  I can't even say how much I loved this update.

Thanks once again for sharing your story with us.

Rachael

Reviewer: riddiculusvampire (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2009 07:16 PM · On: Waging War

holy.crap.

umm i honestly have no idea what to say 'cause im speechless over this chapter. ok here goes...the style of writing was really cool and went extremely well with this specific chapter, the entire thing had my emotions going up and down like a roller coaster. This story is so well written, I LOVE how you express Jasper and Alice's emotions so perfectly. This has to be my all-time favorite chapter!! gahh amazingg job..I'm thirsting for more.

 Ok I hope thats good enough of a comment..I can't write anymore cause its midnight and im currently being a stealthy ninja to sneak onto the computer just to read this chapter. eek i think my mom just woke up! see ya in the next chapter!!!

-riddiculusvampire

Reviewer: Ashmerlin (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 07:00 PM · On: Waging War

Another wonderfull chapter.  Thankyou.

 

XOXOXOX

 

Ashmerlin

Reviewer: jazzylover314 (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 03:46 PM · On: Waging War

is that it? are you finished writing this story? what aboout alice's memories? what about those four people at the beach? why didnt edward come looking for her? where is he family?

Reviewer: miaokuancha (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 01:57 AM · On: Waging War

I wonder if this could be filmed?  With the original actors.  I suppose you would have to change the names so it could be allowed.  But the characters really stand alone without any need for reference to Twilight.  I think this would be an awesome little independent film .... 

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: June 11, 2009 12:23 AM · On: Waging War

wow

Reviewer: lucky_chica85 (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 03:24 PM · On: Waging War

So good! So happy he finally kissed her!

I'm all caught up... :( now I have to wait for the next post... do you post regularly?

Please update soon. I am addicted to this story!

Reviewer: lucky_chica85 (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 12:18 PM · On: A Little Bit More

Great chapter! And I'm glad Jazz won the bet!!! :)

Reviewer: Sarah2785 (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 12:17 PM · On: Waging War

Goodness, I love this story.

I managed to hold off for almost fifteen hours between seeing the new chapter was up and actually reading it, which shows the amazing powers of my restraint!

I loved every minute of it, even though I spent a lot of it with tears in my eyes for both Alice and Jasper. While this is by no means the end of the journey, I feel this is an important turning point for Jasper. I can't wait to read more and see where these two characters go.

Reviewer: lucky_chica85 (Signed) · Date: June 10, 2009 09:17 AM · On: Seamless

I loved this chapter! I'm gald that Alice is staying with Jasper! :) And that they hugged! :)

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