I'd first like to say, when I logged into my email I had 5 notifications about updates from different stories, and some of them I LOVE. But when I got to your one I squealed, literally. I haven't read any of the other ones yet, I read the best on first :)
I would copy the whole start.. scrap that the whole story in here because all of it is beautiful, but this paragraph, really got to me.
But he was right, too. Because all those times when he tried to tell me about what had happened to him, I didn't listen. I thought I already knew what scars were. I thought I knew what it was like to feel paralyzed by your own perception of yourself-to not want to move ‘cause when you're lying motionless in the dark, you can still pretend you're anyone or anything other than what you are. I thought I knew what it was like to feel inhuman.
I didn't know a damned thing.
Its just so.. deep and meaningful, I don't even know how to explain it. You are such a descriptive and deep writer, I'm just truly amazed by all your chapters.
The section about the blue eyed boy who saved her, who wouldn't come closer to her really got to me as well. I'm assuming myself, that it meant that he was wondering whether what he did was the right thing. I really liked how 'you' as Alice explained that she was glad that he did what he did, and that if she ever saw him again she would thank him.
"I'm holding your hand," he offers simply, squeezing me tightly against him and pressing his lips into my hair.
This line is so simple, but so perfect at the same time. To me it just shows acceptance of each other, if that makes sense? That Jasper is alright with her touching his hand and that to me this little gesture shows that they can get through this, together.
Some part of me recognizes that Jasper's misplaced pronouns are important.
I was wondering whether you could explain it for me? If that is alright? Because I would love to understand it properly :)
I knew immediately when I read that she was going to write the application that Jasper will have written it for her already. And the way he wrote about her, even though she feels its not completely true you can almost see that that is how he sees her.
I'm glad hes talked to his family, and he even told them about Alice.. although I do wonder whether hes said more about Alice than what he told her, as in he didn't just say that Alice was taking over the half of the rent that Emmett used to have.
*sighs* the kiss. Would is be cheesy to say it was perfect. What the heck, I've said everything else about this chapter is perfect! Another thing - I like how he said the song was about her with the 'little darlin' line :)
*jumps around clapping* one word. Boyfriend :D
"Alice-you awake?"
I hum drowsily against his chest. He lies still for a minute, and then sighs and presses his lips into my hair. "Never mind. Get some sleep. Goodnight."
I mutter something that I hope sounds like, "'night, Jazz," and then lose myself to sleep.
What?! What? WHAT?!
What was he going to say??!?! AGH! I really want to know. I guess I'll have to wait!
No worries about the delay, I can tell that must have taken a while to write! Also, I like how you are seperating it out so that it is one POV. I can't wait to read Jasper's side of things!
I hope all is well with you, too :)
Author's Response: Hey! You wrote an awesomely long review and asked a few questions, so I thought I'd answer what I could:
The part about the boy who saved Alice was one of my favorite parts as well. Saving someone's life became an important theme in this chapter--what would it mean to save someone's life if you knew that if they lived, they would never be able to be normal again? Is the act still noble at that point? Or would it have been more appropriate to let that person die? These are tough questions that Alice wrestles with. Her conclusion at this point in the chapter is that she's happy with the life she has, regardless of whether or not it's "normal." But Jasper? She's not so sure. She feels responsible for him and probably always will. Every time she sees him struggling she's going to wonder whether or not she did the right thing by loving him and refusing to leave him (which would effectively been a death sentence for him). Fortunately, by the end of this chapter, she gets a slight sense of closure on this issue.
Misplaced pronouns. Jasper says, "I'm holding your hand," but, because he has no feeling or motor abilities in his left hand, he can't technically be holding her. But the fact that he's willing to imagine it--to even want to imagine it is important to Alice. He's learning to deal with what happened to him and accept that Alice loves him despite it all. He's also learning to love himself, which is a huge step for him.
There will be a little more about what Jasper told his family in his POV, so I don't want to say much here. But Jasper's not exactly a loquacious person. I doubt whether he'd elaborate on his relationship with Alice without being forced to.
I had a hard time coming up with a nickname for Alice. "Darlin'" is overused, so initially I didn't want to use it at all. But I figured that tying it to a song would give it a slightly different twist than just throwing it in there as a generic southern designation a male gives to a female. I'm from the south; I've never heard anyone use the word "darlin'."
Ha, the ending of the chapter. I promise this'll be resolved in the JPOV. I bet you could guess what he wanted to tell her though--it's fairly obvious!
Thanks for the review, and I hope the next chapter moves you as much as this one did!
~SUAS
