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Reviewer: RandyWriter (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 05:12 PM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
This was such an interesting chapter. To hear Edward's inner dialogue...damn...could write a book with just those conversations. Little manwhore on one shoulder...little good boy on the other. Damn...those two constantly torturing him, and then Edward's own voice coming out to argue with the two of them...ROFL. You never cease to amaze me when you write inner dialogue. I keep from eating and drinking always when I read it!!! Loved it! It was really interesting how upset Bella was with her snooping and how her life was basically over...lol. She was so honest with Angela, and that had to be embarassing. But she did it. She admitted everything. Now Edward...to see him throw his keys across the room (worrying about the paint of course immediately) LOL! How Edward started out so completely upset, feeling violated I think more than anything, but then, as the night and inner voice fights went on....Edward started realizing what a dick he was ...and how Bella just did what he did to Bella, but not quite in the same manner. Edward had been looking around Bella's house, and in her classroom. He realizes that he is a bit of a manwhore. That Bella was right, and when she was walking across the street..he realized how hurt and upset Bella was for her berhavior, and it seemed to bother Edward. It kind of surprised me. When these two finally get together...DAMN...HOT TIMES IN THE CITY!! Yeah..the song just came to me...lol. Edward may be changing his ways...and it all has to do with Bella. Time for some loving...hmmmm. Write again to make my night, when you can! Love it all!
Author's Response: Hi RW!
I'm sorry I have been a failure lately at the review replies. I'm still loving the reviews, of course.
I'm glad you enjoyed chapter 18 and Edward's inner chaos. I love the idea of a tiny manwhore speaking into one ear and a little angelicward speaking into the other. I love the inner dialogue. you know that about me. lol
We already know from Bella's teary reaction to the Asshole hat Edward purchased online for her that she feels wretched about what she's done. At least now she doesn't have to live with being a deceitful liar as well...she completely unburdened herself. Twice! And Angela is probably so thankful for her own rather boring existence if Bella's life is the other choice. lol
Edward was pissed at her and pissed at what she probably thought but it is his own damn fault that she would think what she might be thinking. Yeah, he's not too happy with himself right now. And seeing poor B in her trek across the street, at least we got that through his eyes and know he's feeling quite remorseful. We'll have to see how he attempts to make this situation better. ;)
Thanks for the review(s)! And the love!
-bannerday
Reviewer: CanadianMommmyX2 (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 04:39 PM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
I think one thing that makes a writer a good writer is that they make you feel something for their characters. Rather than just tell a story, you feel like you are a part of it. I must admit as Edward described Bella crossing the street to return his stuff I felt my eyes fill up with tears. I felt so bad for both of them. As much as I think Bella was wrong for invading Edward's privacy (although I probably would have been tempted to do the same thing), I actually felt sorry for her when you described her hugging herself as she walked across the street. I could picture it so clearly in my mind and it made my heartache for her.
I loved Edward's inner monologue. I just finished re-watching the Lord of the Rings, it made me think of Gollum talking to himself while leading the hobbits into Mordor.
I am glad Edward seems to be changing. He has realized he was an ass, and is slowly redeeming himself in my eyes. Maybe he needs to attend "The Transfer's Edward's" classes on how to treat a woman. He seemed to know what he is doing. Hopefully this Edward will see the light and get there soon.
I think these two need to start over.
I look forward to reading more
CM
Author's Response: Hi CanMom!
I've been so terrible about replying to reviews. I'm so sorry! Work has been so hectic and for some reason, through i can read my reviews from Twilighted at work, I can't reply and then by the time I get home i am dead and am moving on to other things. Anyhoo...your review came in the nick of time. I just wrote a rather snippy reply back to a reader a few reviews befoe yours so it was nice to read something from you to calm me back down. Thank you for your kind words.
I really try to show not just the action, but the inner thoughts and the growth process. i'm glad you can appreciate that. I'm glad to know you were touched by the thought of Bella, crossing the great divide to bring Edward's things home to him. The good thing is...that Bella was seen through Edward's eyes...so he feels the remorse and the sadness...or he's projecting his feelings onto her. There is hope for The Beast after all.
Glad you liked Edward's inner musings/diaglogue/conference call. Edward is a little more attractive than Gollum, no? But I did see what you were saying. lol
Perhaps The Transfer Edward can hold classes for his poorly behaved namesakes, instructing them in flower symbolism and the ways to woo a woman.
Thanks for the kind words and the uplifting results.
love ya, CM!
-bannerday
Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 02:51 PM · On: Chapter 5: From Bad to Unimaginably Worse
^"You just can't canoodle with a dick like…a noodle." LOL owe you a story, right now I got to get up and make dinner for my parents..I know, what a wild Friday night =-P
Reviewer: DaSrO (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 02:24 PM · On: Chapter 4: Mr. Silk Pants a.k.a. Mr. Big Stuff
LOL I did listen to the song =-P oh,how I wish your story wouldnt go to make those two neighbors fall in love, I really wish...but we all know that wouldnt be the point hehe its just that I have had that neighbor, and that asshole will always be an asshole,he's such an asshole that he went and made friends with my family and friends and remained their friend after breaking my heart. I've such hilarious stories with that guy that I would give you a run for yur money LOL. Next time your story makes me cry from laughing I'll tell you one of my RL stories with my exneighbor asshole hehe really freat story, so funny I didnt take to review the first chapters, sorry for that, but in a way its a compliment: thats just how engrossing and funny your story is =-)
Have a great weekend
Daniela
Reviewer: angelblue (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 02:16 PM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
I think rehashing for the reader should be more like remembering one or two details not reliving the whole chapter. That was way over fking kill. so please ...move on.
Author's Response: I appreciate the commentary. I don't appreciate the tone. I give up my entire weekend and many hours during the week to write what I think is important to the storyline and character development. Of course I don't reallyknow what I'm doing. I'm not a writer by trade. Maybe you don't like a chapter here or there. And I get that...that's fine. Perhaps you could word your criticisms more kindly. Or read something else.
Reviewer: Daybreak (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 01:32 PM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
I don't think it matters how I think these two will react to stuff, because they will do something completely different most of the time, LOL. Still love Edward's inner ramblings, no wonder he's confused. I think they will become more and more interested in each other as the story progresses, and I think that one way or another, Edward will stumble upon Bella's writing. And then it could get really interesting. Hopefully, they will become better "friends" soon, and eventually something more...
Author's Response: Hi Daybreak!
I've been terrible with the review repliws...but I'm trying to make up for it tonight!
I think all of the things you think in your review will probably come to pass. lol I'm going to get these two on the same page, no matter what kind of fight they put up! It's sliippery process, though...as slippery as a satin duvet!
-bannerday
Reviewer: fprm (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 12:26 PM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
loving everything about this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for the love! I'm glad you are enjoying.
-bannerday
Reviewer: twilightgma1954 (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 11:39 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
I think they are both under alot of misgivings ...she may not understand his life style but she is not that critical -+++ I think she is in awe of him ....his life style and her purity lets hope there is someone to bring them together a break in maybe .... then he could be her hero ,,,,someone sneaking around trying to get in her home yea that would be hot and show just how toned his body is a stranger snealing into her house at night almost catching her in the shower he could save her and hold her after he wraps her in a towel...... or just convince Alice she is the one and turn her loose ....i know i am probally not very helpful
Author's Response: Hi twigma!
I think you assessment is correct. I love your plot twist. You should be writing, gma! But I loved how you resort to Alice if all else fails. Alice will know what to do...just cut her loose and let her work her magic! lol
You might not think you're helpful but you gave me some great grins, gma! Thank you for the review and the giggles. I do love an Edward who saves Bella somehow...I've got something up my sleeve.
thanks again,
-bannerday
Reviewer: twilightmomct (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 11:23 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Glad to see Edward calmed down & could view the evening w/ more clarity. I guess it must suck to look in the mirror & realize you don't like what's looking back. Can't wait to see how he fixes this gigantic misunderstanding!
Author's Response: Hi twilightmomct!
Lets give Edward a little while to mull things over and do the right thing. You know he will...he's Edward. He's not liking the reflection in the mirror and he doesn't even know it but what's being reflected back to him is already changing for the better. Baby steps.
thanks for the review.
-bannerday
Reviewer: Dijah (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 10:49 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
I just wanted to say that I loved that you used my absolute favorite word in this chapter... I don't know why but I love the word vicarious... *shrugs shoulders* I just do :-) Even my kids know the meaning... well as best I can explain it in kid talk.
Ok... now on to my feelings about this chapter... I loved it... of course, I'm sure you knew I would ;-) I am happy that Edward has calmed down and is thinking more clearly and that he is seeing that Bella isn't a bad person. I also loved the bit of Edward-in-a-hot-tub-then-dripping-in-a-towel-patting-himself-dry imagry... *fans face* ahem... that was... yeah... that was.... nice. *blushes like Bella* I personally think that Edward should do something nice to let Bella know that he isn't upset with her and maybe he should try being as brutally honest as she has proven to be... that would progress things along nicely... but then again... you could just continue to torture them for our amusement... yeah, I know thats just mean... its still fun to read though ;-)
Okay... I am off to accomplish great things... or just manage to finish one more load of laundry... which is a great thing if you are the one in need of clean clothes ;-)
Thanks for sharing your amazingly entertaining thoughts!
Dijah
Author's Response: Hi Dijah!
Sorry I have been so terrible lately at replying to reviews. I have loved each and every one of them. So thank you, many times over!
Glad you liked the use of the word "vicariously." angela is probably just so glad that is Bella's life and crazy antics and not her own. lol
I'm glad you liked Edward's reflections on his actions and on Bella and her actions. No...she's not a terrible person...she's just lonely and curious. who wouldn't be, living across the street from THAT? lol Glad you liked Wetward's scene after the hot tub soak. Since there's no sex happening yet, I figured I had to include a few juicy Edward moments: the pre-soak strip down out of the GQ clothes and into the board shorts and then the post soak dripping manliness wrapped in a towel. *slurp*
Edward will man up. You are right...he needs to show Bella that he isn't upset with her and maybe he should be a little honest as well. There will also be a little more torment...I like tormenting this Edward. ;) He deserves it...we can't let him off the hook too easily!
Thanks for the love!
-bannerday
Reviewer: Sweetheartwithfangs (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 10:06 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
So I'm split to ways about this..
First: HA! Take that Edward! I hope you feel like crap for being so nasty to Bella! She even returned your stuff because she's a good person and you're too much of a wimp to get your things.
Second: Poor Edward. So confused. Bella really shook up your life, didn't she. Everything will work out for the better.
*looks at bannerday* Right? There is a HEA comin' down the road somewhere?
Reviewer: samekraemer (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 10:00 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Outstanding. I could visualize poor Bella walking across the street taking back his things. Semms Silky Pajamas is waking up to some pretty harsh realities about himself. Well done.
Reviewer: Mart (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 09:54 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Fabulous chapter, please post again soon.
Reviewer: Bella_Cullen884 (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 09:03 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Great chapter!
I didn't expect Edward to react the way he did. I thought he would think she was weird....but he surprised me. :)
I think that he might try to talk to Bella, but she won't make it easy. But who knows, maybe she will.
I can't wait to see what will happen next!!!
Reviewer: MissJanuary (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 08:16 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Great chapter. I liked seeing the more analitical/self-loathing side of Edward. It harkens to his canon self. Although canon Edward would have never dropped the F-bomb , but then again this ain't SM's Edward, it's your's so... Bombs Away! I also loved the inner monologue. Good to know I'm not the only one who argues with herself when shit gets a little crazy. ~MissJanuary
Reviewer: Discordia (Signed) · Date: October 28, 2011 08:01 AM · On: Chapter 18: Do the (After)Math
Hmm, yeah, that's pretty much how I expected them to react. They're both being a little harsh on themselves I think. But I think Edward kinda needed the extra kick to the seat of the pants. Really looking forward to what happens next. I am curious to see who approaches who first. Since Bella returned his stuff, I am betting he makes a gesture of apology.
Reviewer: KariCullen (Signed) · Date: October 27, 2011 04:49 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
Ok if I hadn't already lost my voice to a cold I would be hoarse from laughing. Her confessions and his reactions...omg fantastic!!
Author's Response: Hi KariC
Thanks for the review. Sorry about your cold and hope I haven't helped worsen things with you laughing at chapter 17. :) Glad you liked their little conversation...her admissions and his horror. lol At least you were already sick and I didn't make you laugh yourself sick.
Thanks for reading. Hope you like chapter 18. Keep in touch.
-bannerday
Reviewer: briandelight (Signed) · Date: October 26, 2011 10:13 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
Holy mother of... I burned through these chapters, I had some serious catching up to do but jeeze. This either had me busting up laughing or cringing behind my hands as I read through my fingers. I really like this, it was super funny. I must say that I got a bit confused towards the end of this chapter, I wasn't sure if Edward was mad or emberassed or what. It was wonderful nontheless. I can't wait to see if her snooping ends up in her fic or if Edward's gonna say anything else about her snooping.
Reviewer: i_heart_ecullen (Signed) · Date: October 26, 2011 06:29 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
Gahhh!!!! PLS PLS PLS PLS Update soon!!! I can't wait to read more!!! Will edward forgive her!!! pls pls upadate sooon!!!!!
Reviewer: ToMyMuse (Signed) · Date: October 26, 2011 10:52 AM · On: Chapter 7: Aide-de-Camp Black
Sounds like quite a dream! Wish Bella'd share a little more from the dream. ;)
And good ol' Jake! I love how Edward's throat went dry from fear. I can think of a few times in my life when I could've used help from a friend like Jake.
Reviewer: ToMyMuse (Signed) · Date: October 26, 2011 05:10 AM · On: Chapter 6: Moving Right Along
"The weekend is nearly over and you've only had a redhead and a blond. You're missing one of the major food groups."
Tee hee! You're funny :)
Reviewer: beth42 (Signed) · Date: October 23, 2011 06:03 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
Hilarious!
Reviewer: ToMyMuse (Signed) · Date: October 22, 2011 10:25 PM · On: Chapter 4: Mr. Silk Pants a.k.a. Mr. Big Stuff
"Augmentation!" ROFLMAO!
Reviewer: JaobsStephanie (Signed) · Date: October 22, 2011 06:07 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
OH MY GOD!!! This is by far the funniest chapter!! I have just about peed my pants and I woke the hubby up with my laughing!! I can't wait for more.
Keep'em coming, quickly please
Thanks,
Stephanie
Reviewer: Dydear (Signed) · Date: October 21, 2011 07:34 PM · On: Chapter 17: True Confessions of Stealth Transgressions
That was quite a ridiculous conversation! I'm glad they had it, though; there's not enough blatant, open honesty in relationships. So...what's going to happen from here? Hmm...I guess I'll just have to wait and see...
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