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Reviews For Ambiguity
Reviewer: RedPenWriter (Signed) · Date: May 24, 2012 09:04 AM · On: Ambiguity

This is awesome! And who on earth would wear a rainbow striped hat?

Reviewer: becksishere (Signed) · Date: June 27, 2010 10:55 PM · On: Ambiguity

I was really intrigued by your summary and the first chapter was great. =D

Reviewer: NewDAWN (Signed) · Date: June 07, 2010 02:03 AM · On: Similarity and Contrast

That was great; it explains a lot. Please keep writing and updating!!!

Reviewer: NewDAWN (Signed) · Date: June 07, 2010 01:17 AM · On: Ambiguity

WOW! You are a GENIUS at suspense!

Reviewer: FrozenSoldier (Signed) · Date: March 12, 2010 06:55 PM · On: Ambiguity

This is an interesting start. I like how you have written this chapter. Especially how you slowly got into it.. then right at the end she falls.. I will read the rest at some  point.. but it is very late for me right now and I really can't read anything now..

I can't remember if I've contacted you already, but would you this story to be part of my Jasper/Alice series called Eternal Hope? If you would just contact me on here and I'll explain a little bit more :)

Reviewer: geophf (Anonymous) · Date: October 31, 2009 08:20 AM · On: Similarity and Contrast

Dear Ostentatious Querida,

Nice and sweet-tempered one-shot; befitting vampire Bella's POV.

I think you worried a wee bit too much at the meta-beginning and meta-end to no helpful end, however.  I have not read Ambiguity, but I found reading this piece perfectly comprehensible.  I also did not have a problem with your representation of vampire Bella, either.  She had vampire thoughts and concerns (the 'camping' trip and minimal contact with humans, paying attention in class whilst wondering when they could reasonably decamp to college, again), and you portrayed them through the lens that is Bella very well.  So vexing over these things, I think, makes the reader read into Bella more critically than necessary ("Is OQ representing Bella well?" When it's obvious that you are doing just that, but then the reader's mind is clouded with this concern on the reread, instead of just enjoying the story as it is).

Your Edward came across accurately, as well, romantic and cautiously overprotective, as usual, but not falling into the trap of excess in either direction.  They are in high school (just starting out, I suppose) and victorian Edward would not precipitously engage in a full on lip-lock after the first class back from winter break.  But he would be as he was here.  Sweet, self-aware, rushing to Bella's side to embrace her while also scolding her for talking with humans, and at the same time scanning Alice to make sure his vampire Bella was safe from that dangerous, scary human (cue Bella's rolling of eyes).  All those conflicting things that make up the Edward Bella fell (and stayed) in love with.

I found it a little odd that a granddaughter or great-granddaughter would also be named Jessica Stanley and act exactly like her ancestor.  That, actually, took me a bit out of the story.  If we are in a different time, perhaps developing your own characters would strengthen your story ... yes, we have echos of archetypes throughout our repeating history, but gossipy, nosey Jessica Stanley (III or IV) accosting the new girl in math class, exactly as in Twilight?  I think, OQ you could have flexed your creative muscle more here to make a character that is yours and believeable and also gets the same pestering job done that needs to be done here.

I believe, incidentally, your synopsis is in error ... "'Bella Masen,' [she] said ..." should be "'Bella Masen,' [I] said ..." right?  Otherwise there are no criticisms to be leveled at grammar or spelling or punctuation.  "Praise" which other authoresses have found to be very elusive from this reviewer and which is a huge relief for me as a reader: your correctness here makes the story all the more pleasurable to read.

But soliciting for reviews in the story?  "Everybody does that" I know, but does that make it good form?  Same goes for advertising other stories.  Unless there's a reason to mention it (as you have a good reason in your prelude/synopsis), then 'shameless advertising' belongs on the profile page (as opposed to the postlude of this story).  I'm reading a story for the story itself, not for recs of other stories.  That can be done with the reader via PM or with the audience at large on the profile page. "Please review" ... yes and obviously, but that is the reader's responsibility, ... the author(ess) pointing out or soliciting that ... ?

One other slight weakness.  The characters seemed to anticipate each other's broken off thoughts too easily.  Bella knew what Edward would say (understandable after 70 years being together).  Edward knew what Bella was thinking from how he continued her spoken thoughts, but then Bella interrupted Alice to introduce herself ... ?

All of this is plausible, I suppose, but when all these continuations-interruptions are lumped together, it gives me the feeling that the author is directing the characters as opposed to allowing the characters to interact of their own volition and recording their resulting conversations.

Don't mistake me: your handling of the characters was, indeed, deft, and your light touch is a welcome change from the usual fare seen here, but they were still handled, in my view, albeit lightly.

This review appears, on the surface, critical (because, well, it is), but I hope you take the criticism as it is meant: kindly.  Why?  Because I like this story.  I like the easy, natural ways the characters step into their skins, as you allude.  I like Mt. Ranier in the background of their thoughts and the sunny, then overcast, sky enclosing the people and the school that gives a real stage, a setting, into which the characters interact in their boring classes and their delighted/careful between classes.  I like how things happen: they are neither pushed nor rushed ... they happen and that happenstance gives reason for the characters to be and to talk and to think and to ponder.

This story is the opposite of driven or forced: it is assured, calm and gentle.  Very sweet.

Just like Bella.

4.5 stars.

Reviewer: rosaliehale (Signed) · Date: August 25, 2009 08:46 PM · On: Ambiguity

Awesome story! I'm hooked. =) Can't wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: Vampfan1 (Signed) · Date: July 19, 2009 07:02 PM · On: Ambiguity

Okay, So I'll admit, the first few chapters seemed a bit too "almost just like twilight" and I was thinking Hummmm. But then you started picking things up and I have become intrigued. I didn't pay attention to the fact that I was going into the last completed chapter and now I'm bummed!!! I need more ! Sure hope you'll be posting something soon. Patience isn't one of my better virtues. I'm trying but I really want to know what happens next.

Reviewer: Twivamp (Signed) · Date: June 22, 2009 02:36 PM · On: Ambiguity

Please keep writing more!! I love this story!! The characters in this story are so much better than in most stories. I like how you leave us hanging even though I am freaking out because I need more of this story. This is one of the best Alice/Jasper human stories I have read.

I know I'm drowning on and on, but why not when you're talking about a great story?

 

~Twivamp :)

Reviewer: Mrs Patohead (Signed) · Date: June 12, 2009 06:30 PM · On: Ambiguity

I love it so far! I just can't wait to read more!!!!!

Reviewer: lilsabeth (Signed) · Date: April 26, 2009 07:37 PM · On: Ambiguity

omgosh!! update quickly please!



Author's Response:

The next chapter should be up soon(ish), I plan on sitting down to write it later in the week. I hope your enjoying everything so far.

OQ =]

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 01:44 PM · On: Ambiguity

I don't quite understand Jasper's reaction. Hopefully all will become clear in the next chapter. Please keep writing.



Author's Response:

Jasper's reaction is meant to be pretty weird - he has his problems too. I don't think he's completely sure why he's reacting in that way either. I suppose we can let him off, nearly being crushed a van tends to freak most people out. Hopefully it will start making sense soon, though it may not be as soon as the next chapter.

Thanks for reviewing. The next chapter will be up soon(ish).

OQ =]

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 01:39 PM · On: Ambiguity

the line between Bella and Alice was confused a bit.  Alice is a bit more distinctive in this chapter. Please keep writing



Author's Response:

Which line? I'd be glad to explain it to you if you tell me which part.

Oq =]

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 01:33 PM · On: Ambiguity

Edward and Bella and Jasper and Alice. Where are Emmett and Rose? Just askin' Please Keep writing.



Author's Response:

Emmett and Rose are coming soon. They will be mentioned in the next chapter (which you've probably read by now), and they'll make other apperances throughout the story. Don't worry, I plan on there being a cullen presence during the story, even though they won't be main characters.

OQ =]

Reviewer: emma austin (Signed) · Date: April 25, 2009 01:20 PM · On: Ambiguity

Yes! Jasper.  Love the first day awkwardness. Please keep writing.



Author's Response:

Thank you. I was pleased once I finally got to Jasper's first chapter as well.

Ostentatious Querida =]

Reviewer: Nyxs_Herald (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2009 08:06 PM · On: Ambiguity

I am loving your fic!

I truly enjoy Alice's 'voice' and I believe that you are doing her a great justice. So, Alice and Jasper are human in this fic? Are they going to be joining the Cullen Family? I hope so!

Great Job,

N_H



Author's Response:

Thank you so much. I'm glad you like it so far.

Your going to make me blush. I'm glad you think I'm doing her justice as that was my main aim. I didn't want to make her the sterotypical shopping obsessed hyper pixie that Alice sometimes ends up being written as.

Yup, Alice and Jasper are human. I'm working on the next chapter now, so hopefully you won't be in suspense for much longer. It depends how much trouble the next chapter gives me.

OQ =]

Reviewer: Alyss In Wonderland (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2009 03:14 PM · On: Ambiguity

I think I hate you for ending it there. Seriously.

Well he won't die. Obviously. And if he did I think I would curse you forever, so you wouldn't dare kill him off ;)

If you don't update soon I may ship you off to a nice white room where you can spend eternity with Jane for company :)

 



Author's Response:

Haha, sorry. The chapter was getting too long and I was desperate to get it done. I'm working on the next one now though, so it'll be up in a few days. And I was looking forward to spending an eternity with Jane aswell. Darn.

Oh, darn, looks like I'm going to have to rewrite the next chapter... Nah, I love Jasper too much to kill him off. I'm saying nothing about serious injury though...

Thanks for reviewing. I hope your enjoying everything so far.

OQ =]

 

Reviewer: lilspicy (Signed) · Date: April 06, 2009 01:29 PM · On: Ambiguity

darn cliffhangers! :)



Author's Response:

Sorry, haha. I'm working on the next chapter now, so don't expect to be in suspense for much longer.

Reviewer: Alyss In Wonderland (Signed) · Date: March 25, 2009 09:38 AM · On: Ambiguity

This story is getting more and more amazing by the chapter!! I love it!

I love the twists that are put into all human J/A fics, I can't wait to see what you've got in store for us!!

Update update update!!

 



Author's Response:

Thank you for reviewing. I'm really glad you like the story so far.

Lets just say I have a few things planned...

The next chapter is awaiting validation now (if validation is the right term). Hopefully it will get to you as soon as possible.

Reviewer: twilightlover96 (Signed) · Date: March 14, 2009 08:15 AM · On: Ambiguity

This is a great story, I have always liked human Alice and vampire Jasper stories, though it seems there aren't as much as I would like. Awesome story, update soon.



Author's Response:

I'm sorry to disappoint you - Jasper is a human in this fic. For whats going to happen to work, he can't be virtually indestructible. Sorry. :(

I'm glad you liked it so far, and even though Jasper isn't going to be a vamp please keep reading. I hope you will enjoy it anyway.

Reviewer: LordXeenTheGreat (Signed) · Date: March 14, 2009 06:06 AM · On: Ambiguity

I like it.



Author's Response:

Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you like it.

Reviewer: lilspicy (Signed) · Date: March 09, 2009 01:53 PM · On: Ambiguity

Keep it up. I like the story so far! :)



Author's Response:

Thank you for taking the time to review, it means alot.

I'm glad you like the story and I have a few more chapters to post from fanfiction . net until both sites are at the same stage - so be expecting more very soon.

Reviewer: Alyss In Wonderland (Signed) · Date: February 09, 2009 11:03 PM · On: Ambiguity

Love it so far!! Please continue!!



Author's Response:

Thank you. I will do. I have the first couple of chapters written, so I'll be posting them in quick succession to catch this site up with fanfiction.net.

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